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Love and other social constructs
The German philosopher and sociologist Erich Fromm is one of the prominent representatives of the Frankfurt School, which also included such thinkers as Max Horkheimer, Jürgen Habermas, Theodor Adorno and others. They, like Fromm, fiercely criticized capitalism, as they saw it as a structure that oppressed people all over the world, and were also the first to speak openly about the media and pop culture that directly affect the minds of citizens.
Втім, Фромм запам'ятався не тільки цим: за роки своєї вченої діяльності він опублікував десятки статей і книг, присвячених аналізу гуманізму, диктатури, релігії і не тільки. Широку славу йому принесла книга «Втеча від свободи», що вийшла ще в 1941 році — у ній Фромм міркує про причини появи капіталізму і про те, наскільки небезпечним для суспільства він став з роками.
His other book, "The Art of Love", written in the fifties, became no less famous. This work became essentially a personal expression of Fromm, convinced that love is an act, an action that is distinguished by its multifaceted nature and is not at all similar to traditional ideas about love as such. In December 2023, publishing houses published a list of the most popular books among Ukrainians, and "The Art of Love" by Erich Fromm took fifth place in this ranking.
Quotes
“The desire for interpersonal fusion is the most powerful human desire. This is the most fundamental drive, it is the force that forces members of the human race, clan, family, and society to stick together. Failure to achieve it leads to madness or destruction—destruction of self and others. Without love, humanity could not last a day."
"Love is activity, not passive affect, it is help, not admiration. In the most general form, the active nature of love can be described by the statement that love means primarily giving, not taking.
"Humility and objectivity are inseparable, as is love. I can't be truly objective about my family if I can't be objective about other people and vice versa. If I want to learn the art of love, I must strive for objectivity in any situation and become receptive to situations where I am not objective.
I must try to see the difference between my image of a person and their behavior, perceived by me in a narcissistically distorted way, and a real person who exists regardless of my interests, needs and fears.
"Love is not necessarily an attitude towards a certain person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character that determines a person's attitude to the world in general, and not just to one "object" of love. If a person loves only one person and is indifferent to others, his love is not love, but symbiotic dependence or exaggerated selfishness.
Achieving objectivity and reason is half the way to achieving the art of love, and they must be achieved by all people with whom one has to come into contact."
“It is an illusion to think that you can divide life in such a way that it is creative in the sphere of love and uncreative in all other spheres. Creativity does not allow such a division of labor. The ability to love requires a state of tension, wakefulness, increased vitality, which can only be the result of a creative and active orientation in many other areas of life. If someone is not creative in other areas, he is not creative in love either."
"Being fully awake is a condition of not being bored yourself and not making others bored, and of course not being bored and not being boring for another is one of the main conditions of love. To be active in thought, in feeling, actively seeing and hearing throughout the day, avoiding inner laziness, whether in the form of postponing something for later, or in the form of planned idle time, is a prerequisite for practicing the art of love."
"If to love means to have an attitude of love for everything, if love is a character trait, it must necessarily be present not only in relations with one's family and friends, but also with those with whom a person enters in contact at work in business, in their professional activities. There is no "division of labor" between love for one's own and love for others. On the contrary, the condition of the existence of the first is the existence of the second. To take it seriously means to decisively change one's social relations, departing from the generally accepted ones."
"Love is possible only if two people are connected to each other by the centers of existence, and therefore each of them perceives himself from the depths of his existence."