Anxiety and Racket Feelings: What TA Can Explain

At ten in the evening, Oksana opens the work chat again. Her manager wrote, “We’ll talk tomorrow,” and over two hours that short sentence has grown into dismissal, an argument and the question of how she will pay the rent. She checks for messages although there are none, then gets angry with herself: she is an adult, yet she cannot calm down.

When anxiety persists, it is tempting to find one explanation that will finally settle everything. Transactional analysis offers the concept of a racket feeling, which can help someone notice a familiar reaction. Calling all anxiety a “racket,” however, jumps too quickly to a conclusion: similar experiences can arise in different circumstances and conditions.

If anxiety disrupts sleep, work or your ability to leave home, seek professional support. New or severe physical symptoms need medical assessment. If you are in immediate danger of harming yourself, contact local emergency services and someone who can stay with you.

Fanita English’s paper on the substitution of feelings describes a model in which people learn to express feelings accepted in their surroundings while becoming less aware of feelings that brought shame or punishment. A family might have allowed worrying about everyone but made anger towards adults unsafe. Later, someone may find it easier to become anxious than to notice their own disagreement.

This is a hypothesis for exploring a particular history carefully. “Racket” does not mean that the person is pretending, deliberately manipulating others or responsible for causing their condition. Their racing heart, tension and sleepless night are real, even if the response has been familiar since childhood.

The question gradually becomes more specific: what happens to me in conversations like these, which feelings can I name easily, and where do I get stuck? An answer may emerge across several observations. Sometimes this model offers little help in understanding an episode.

After illness, prolonged strain or repeated threats, vigilance can persist even on a quieter day. In Ukraine, the reality of war adds ongoing danger, interrupted sleep and news from loved ones. A family script cannot adequately explain every response to these circumstances.

NIMH describes anxiety disorders as conditions involving several possible factors, including biological and environmental influences. Worry that is difficult to control and restricts everyday life warrants professional assessment. Observing feelings may be part of getting help, but it does not establish a cause on its own.

For Oksana, that short message might touch a fear of losing income, experience with a harsh manager or genuine problems at work. Until she knows more, “You simply forbid yourself to feel angry” adds another demand to an already difficult evening.

Anxiety can include thoughts about death, losing control or harm coming to loved ones. Being frightened of an event is not evidence of wanting it. Replacing “I’m afraid” with “I want” can confuse someone and intensify their fear, particularly when the thought already feels threatening.

It is more useful to leave the statement intact: “I’m afraid of losing my job. I need clarity about tomorrow’s conversation and a better understanding of my options.” A need is expressed separately from the fear. It might concern information, support, rest or protection; sometimes the person does not yet know.

On paper, it is possible to separate an event briefly from the story that has grown around it. For Oksana, the established fact is one unexplained message. Dismissal remains a prediction. She notices tight shoulders, fear and irritation that a conversation has once again been scheduled without a subject.

She can then ask what she expects, what supports that prediction and what she can influence now. Oksana decides to ask about the subject in the morning. For tonight, she writes down her questions and stops checking the chat until a chosen time. This arrangement promises no peaceful night, but it gives her a specific action instead of another round of checking.

If writing turns into trying to prove that nothing bad can possibly happen, it is worth stopping. No journal entry can supply that guarantee. For this evening, recording what is known, what remains unknown and the next step is enough.

In her next entry, Oksana notices that she fears losing her income and resents having her evening occupied by someone else’s vague sentence. Both experiences are present. Recognising her dissatisfaction does not require declaring her fear unreal.

A request follows: “When you schedule a conversation, please include the subject so I can prepare.” Her manager’s response will provide further information. Repeated pressure may require a discussion about working conditions, support from colleagues or reconsidering the job, beyond a more detailed analysis of her emotions.

The MriyaRun online diary can hold brief notes about an event, thoughts, feelings and a next action. For those who prefer handwriting, the EQ Emotional Intelligence Journal offers a paper format. Several entries make it easier to compare recurring details: late messages, insufficient sleep, silent agreement or repeatedly seeking reassurance.

Writing need not become an hourly self-check. A few minutes ending with one manageable step may be enough. If observing yourself increases anxiety or develops into a compulsive ritual, discuss that pattern with a professional.

If worry takes up most of the day, panic attacks recur, avoidance grows or independent attempts bring little relief, a primary care doctor or mental health professional can be a starting point. NICE guidance recommends support matched to the extent of the difficulties, including psychological interventions and medication when indicated.

A racket feeling remains one possible way of discussing experience. Its usefulness depends on whether it helps someone understand a specific situation and gain more choice. If an explanation mainly leaves someone more ashamed of their anxiety, there is good reason to reconsider it.