This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or psychotherapeutic advice. If you are experiencing an acute psychological condition or need professional support, please contact a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or crisis service.
Two faces of envy
Envy has many variations, and each of them carries the potential for both self-destruction and psychological violence against others. A person who is jealous can become both a victim and an executioner in this feeling. Envy often turns into the devaluation of others or manifests itself through the impostor syndrome, when a person does not believe in his own achievements and successes, comparing himself with others.
Self-analysis
The first step to overcoming envy is deep introspection. It is important to learn to recognize your thoughts and at the first signs of envy, to stop and understand yourself. Ask yourself, "What do I really want?"
If you sincerely desire what the object of your envy has (whether it's a material item or a character trait), there's nothing wrong with that. Think about how you can achieve this. Maybe you need to increase your diligence, increase productivity or develop a sense of time to become a more punctual person. Focus on self-development.
If your envy is destructive, and you want the other person to lose something, stop and ask yourself: "Why be jealous, why feel bad emotions and spoil my life? What will it give me?"
Don't judge a wrapper by its appearance
In order to stop being jealous, one should realize that serious problems are often hidden behind the external well-being of the object of envy. An ordinary employee is jealous of a colleague who received a promotion, not knowing that her son is a drug addict, and this fact, hidden from others, poisons her life. Or a woman is jealous of her friend's fashionable clothes, not knowing that she cries at night because of her husband's betrayal.
Envious people often do not know about the problems and troubles of those they envy. You should not judge a person's well-being only by his external signs. There is always a downside to any reason for envy. Awareness of this reverse side, even intuitively, will save you from dissatisfaction and many unnecessary desires.
Get down to business
Focusing on your work and achievements will help you get rid of envy. Envy is based on comparison, and to eradicate it, you need to stop thinking about other people's successes. Stop comparing yourself with others, evaluate yourself and your achievements. Think about your own uniqueness.
It is more useful to think in which area you can be the best, to become a master of your craft. A person engaged in business is protected from the pangs of envy.
Be wiser
If you notice that you are jealous, you are a smart person, and if you try to get rid of envy, you can be called a wise person. Remember that even though our lives are a game of one-upmanship, not all of us will win the jackpot.
It's like in a joke: a man came to the stadium for the first time in his life to watch a track and field competition and asks his neighbor: "Why are they in such a hurry?" "Whoever crosses the finish line first will get a gold medal," the neighbor replies. Then the novice wonders even more: "Then why are all the others running?" Therefore, one should remember the well-known Olympic principle: the main thing is not victory, the main thing is participation. Live as you can, be yourself, and let others be them. And then you will have universal peace, which no money can buy.
Relaxation, peace and gratitude
Meditation and mental self-regulation help from sudden attacks of envy. Find a quiet place, take a comfortable position, close your eyes and relax. Imagine yourself in a place where you were or will be well: at your grandmother's in the village, on the streets of an ancient city, on the ocean shore, on top of a mountain, in a forest on a meadow, etc. Immerse yourself in these pleasant sensations and try to hold them until you feel that you have had and will have enough beautiful days.
Envious and resentful of fate, we accumulate a bad mood. As a result, we start making mistakes and make our lives even more difficult. In order to break out of this vicious circle, we need to cultivate a sense of gratitude for what we already have: family and friends, health, freedom, work. Appreciate your place in life and never be jealous!
How to get rid of someone else's envy
A person can "burn" in the fire not only of his own, but also of someone else's envy. Therefore, each of us may need protection techniques from envious people.
How to get rid of envious people:
- Do not share your successes and achievements with potentially envious people.
- Ask for help or advice, this can greatly disarm the envious person.
- You can try to gain the envious person's trust and, by the way, tell them that despite your apparent successes, you also have a lot of serious problems.
- Faced with frank envy, you should not descend to rough clarifications of the relationship. This will not help, it will only make the situation worse. It is better to simply distance yourself from the envious person and not come into contact with him.
Understand that life is not always what it seems at first glance. Gratitude for what you have and positive thinking will help you maintain inner peace and satisfaction with life. Always remember that your achievements and uniqueness are your most valuable treasures that do not need external confirmation.
