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Countertransference: When the Therapist Also Becomes Part of the Story
In therapy, it's not just what the client says that matters. What begins to happen to the therapist in response is equally important: what emotions arise, what fantasies appear, what urges to act surface, where tension builds in the body, at what moment curiosity fades, or conversely, when an overwhelming desire to rescue emerges.
This is the field of countertransference.
In simple terms, countertransference is the therapist's reaction to the client and to what the client unconsciously brings into the contact. Sometimes the therapist feels something deeply personal, tied to their own history (this is known as objective or personal countertransference). Sometimes they seem to catch a piece of the client's internal experience. And sometimes they are literally pulled into a role the client unconsciously expects to see: a strict Parent, a Rescuer, an indifferent bystander, an abuser, or someone who will finally fix everything.
Practice Example: A client comes to a session and quietly, with a guilty smile, shares how she was deceived at work again. The therapist suddenly feels a strong surge of anger—not at the circumstances, but at the client herself, feeling the urge to say harshly: "How long can you tolerate this? Stand up for yourself!" This is an invitation into the role of the Persecutor, which the client is accustomed to playing out with authority figures in her life.
Countertransference does not mean the therapist is "bad" or "unprofessional." On the contrary: if noticed, it becomes valuable diagnostic material, a kind of radar picking up what isn't said in words. The problem only begins when a therapist is unaware of their reaction and starts acting on it automatically, repeating the client's traumatic script.
Psychological Board Game RedLines: Emotional Detective
Why It's Important to Study Countertransference
In Transactional Analysis, the therapeutic relationship is viewed as a living process. It contains not only words but also ulterior transactions, script expectations, psychological games, the drama triangle, and the reactions of the Child, Parent, and Adult.
A client might speak from the Adult state: "I just want to understand myself better." But on a psychological (ulterior) level, they might unconsciously be expecting: "They will judge me now," "They will abandon me," "I need to be rescued," "I must be accommodating so I won't be rejected."
And the therapist might suddenly feel a whole spectrum of reactions:
- a desire to justify or defend themselves;
- irritation or anger;
- sudden fatigue, sleepiness, or boredom;
- excessive care and an urge to give advice;
- fear of speaking directly, afraid of "breaking" the client;
- a need to prove competence by throwing around terminology;
- an urge to quickly "rescue" the client by solving their problem for them;
- a feeling of having become too strict or too soft.
These reactions shouldn't be immediately dismissed as "unnecessary," nor should one beat themselves up over them. They are worth exploring. They can clearly show what role the client is unconsciously inviting the other person to take in their internal story.
Four Groups of Countertransference Signals
Countertransference doesn't always manifest just through emotions. It can be noticed through several different channels.
- Behavioral signals. The therapist begins to act differently: interrupting, going silent, rushing, avoiding a difficult topic, over-explaining, or feeling tempted to "parent" the client.Example: You notice the session isn't over yet, but you've already checked your watch three times, or conversely, you regularly keep this client 15 minutes longer than others because you feel they "aren't ready to leave yet."
- Cognitive signals. Fantasies, images, biases, judgments, mechanisms of devaluation, or conversely, blind idealization of the client appear.Example: After a session, you catch yourself obsessively thinking "this case is hopeless" or "I am the only therapist in the world capable of understanding them."
- Emotional signals. Anxiety, irritation, sadness, powerlessness, tenderness, admiration, shame, guilt, or a depressive feeling that seems disproportionate to the situation arises.Example: The client speaks in a completely monotonous, calm voice about their weekend, and you suddenly feel a lump in your throat and inexplicable, overwhelming waves of sorrow.
- Somatic (physical) signals. Tension, heaviness, drowsiness, chest tightness, a desire to pull away, freeze, or conversely, to act faster.Example: Every time the client starts talking about their mother, your right temple starts to ache or you feel a lack of air, even though objectively there is enough oxygen in the room.
This is exactly why countertransference is like detective work. There is an event, an obvious version, hidden motives, and clues. The task is not to immediately pass judgment (on yourself or the client), but to carefully gather the evidence.
Two Important Types: Complementary and Concordant Countertransference
In therapeutic practice, two main types of reactions are often highlighted, the understanding of which holds the key to deciphering the client's state.
Complementary countertransference occurs when the therapist seemingly steps into a role the client unconsciously offers, becoming a figure from the client's past.
- What it looks like: A client arrives with the internal position of a helpless Child expecting care. The therapist suddenly catches themselves rescuing, explaining obvious things, and taking on too much responsibility (the Nurturing Parent turns on). Or the client subconsciously expects criticism, provokes, arrives late, and the therapist imperceptibly becomes stricter, colder, and less attentive (the Controlling Parent turns on).
Concordant countertransference occurs when the therapist begins to feel something very similar to the internal state of the client themselves. It's a kind of emotional mirroring.
- What it looks like: The client speaks cheerfully and rationally: "I got divorced, lost my job, but everything is great, moving on." However, the therapist suddenly feels burning loneliness, terror, or powerlessness. These are the traces of pain the client has split off from themselves, hasn't recognized for a long time, or simply cannot name directly. The therapist is "containing" these feelings for the client.
Both types can be extremely useful. But only when the therapist doesn't act impulsively under their influence, but takes a step back and returns to the Adult position: "What is happening between us right now? Whose reaction is this—my own or induced by the client? What role am I being invited to take? What might this tell me about the life script of the person sitting across from me?"
Where RedLines Fits In: Emotional Detective
RedLines was created as a psychological game where participants investigate hidden motives, emotional traps, script roles, and the violated boundaries of characters. On the surface, it's an engaging board game with detective logic. Deep down, it's a powerful simulator for emotional attentiveness.
That's exactly why RedLines pairs perfectly with the topic of countertransference.
In the game, a participant doesn't immediately talk about themselves or their own trauma. They analyze a fictional character: Why did Max blow up over a minor issue? Why is Elena so intrusively offering care? Why does a successful adult behave like a powerless Child in certain situations? Why does someone stubbornly take on the role of Rescuer or Persecutor? This creates a safe psychological distance.
But the most interesting part begins during the discussion of the cards. Much more is revealed than just an "opinion on the situation."
- One participant might start fiercely defending the character, identifying with them.
- Someone else harshly judges and demands punishment.
- Another invalidates the pain: "That's not even a problem, just pull yourself together."
- Someone immediately looks for who to blame.
- Someone wants to reconcile everyone, smoothing off the edges.
- Someone laughs at the exact moments where the story objectively contains strong tension or sadness.
And it is right here, at the gaming table, that raw material for exploration appears. In this sense, RedLines works as a soft, safe testing ground for studying the phenomena of transference and countertransference: you learn about them not through dry academic theory, but through your own live reactions in real-time.
How the Game Helps Therapists, Coaches, and Students
For novice specialists and experienced practitioners alike, RedLines can be an indispensable training tool: it helps train the ability to notice not only the plot of the story but also your own reaction to that plot.
After a card has been played, a professional can ask themselves a series of important questions:
- What did I feel toward this character as soon as I read the description?
- Who did I want to protect, and who did I want to distance myself from?
- Who did I want to judge or lecture?
- What role did I automatically take during the discussion: Rescuer, Persecutor, Victim, detached Bystander, or objective Adult?
- Where did I notice a physical reaction (clenched jaw, tense shoulders, an urge to lean back in my chair)?
- Does this situation or behavior remind me of someone from my real life or therapeutic practice?
- What solution seems "obvious" to me, and why did I believe in it so quickly?
These questions elevate the game from a recreational "guess the right answer" to a level of deep professional reflection and supervision.
Psychological Board Game RedLines: Emotional Detective
Examples: Countertransference in the Format of an Emotional Detective
Example 1: The "Yes, But..." Game
Imagine a game card describing a character who constantly complains about their life to friends but rejects absolutely all offers of help, finding a reason why the advice won't work.
On the surface, a novice might say: "They're just lazy and don't want to change." But an emotional detective looks deeper, analyzing the reactions around the table.
- One participant might feel strong irritation: "How long can you whine, get up and do something already!" (Persecutor reaction).
- Another feels pity and starts inventing newer, more creative advice (Rescuer reaction).
- A third feels deep exhaustion, rolls their eyes, and just wants to withdraw from the game.
For a therapist, all these reactions are solid gold material. Perhaps the character on the card is unconsciously inviting others into Eric Berne's classic psychological game "Why Don't You... — Yes, But...". Perhaps they are re-enacting childhood experiences where help was always dangerous, controlling, or humiliating, so now the only safe way to maintain contact with people is to be helpless.
And the live reactions of the participants at the table vividly demonstrate what roles and emotions such a person might constantly trigger in their real relationships, driving their loved ones crazy.
Example 2: The Boundary-Violating Aggressor
Another card describes a manager who invades personal space, raises their voice, and manipulates using guilt. During the discussion, one person begins to actively justify them: "They're probably stressed, the business is at risk, plus they might have had a tough childhood, we just need to understand them."
Here we see how a participant falls into the concordant countertransference of a Victim—instead of acknowledging the fact of the boundary violation (Adult), an adaptive mechanism of justifying the abuser turns on.
Here, RedLines does an incredibly important thing: it turns an abstract psychological concept into a visible, tangible process right at your table.
The Main Principle: Don't Be Ashamed of the Reaction, Explore It
Countertransference only becomes destructive and dangerous for the client when it is denied. If a therapist encounters anger toward a client and thinks: "I am a professional, I have no right to feel this, I must be unconditionally accepting," they repress the feeling. Along with it, they lose access to crucial information about how the client builds communication with the world.
A much more useful, Adult position sounds like this:
"I am feeling this. It is a fact. It doesn't mean I have to act on it immediately or blame the client. But I can and must explore: where did this come from inside me right now, and what does this reaction of mine reveal about our contact and the internal world of the client?"
This is how the therapist reclaims their professional choice. As a result, the client receives not the acting out of an automatic reaction, but a more accurate, honest, containing, and safe presence of a specialist.
RedLines as a Simulator for the Adult Position
In the RedLines game, every player constantly trains the exact same skills a specialist needs when working with countertransference:
- noticing the first emotional reaction of the body and psyche;
- not rushing to a final conclusion or diagnosis;
- seeing hidden motives behind the facade of words;
- clearly distinguishing an objective fact from one's own interpretation;
- recognizing typical script roles (Rescuer, Victim, Persecutor);
- searching for an ecological solution for communication;
- respecting the boundaries of others through the safety rule "Pass" (the right not to discuss what you are not ready for right now).
This is the true position of the Adult: not to shut off your emotions (turning into a robot), but to learn how to work with them ecologically.
Countertransference always reminds us: in any human contact, there is much more than just the words spoken out loud. There is a vast field of reactions, expectations, old stories, and invisible invitations to play games. RedLines helps make this field visible—without pressure, without heavy teardowns or diagnoses at the table, but with the genuine curiosity of a true emotional detective.
Sometimes the most important question a therapist—or simply anyone wanting to improve their relationships—can ask themselves is not "what is wrong with them?", but:
"What am I feeling right now next to this person—and what story does that reveal?"
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RedLines: Emotional Detective is an innovative psychological board game by MriyaRun, designed to develop emotional intelligence, work with personal boundaries, script roles, and hidden motives. It is perfectly suited for a group of friends, couples, as well as psychologists, coaches, and study groups looking to explore complex emotional interactions deeply, safely, and in a live format.
"The hardest part in therapy and life is not recognizing someone else's psychological game, but noticing the exact moment you've already been pulled into it yourself. By analyzing the 49 different stories included in the game, we train exactly this skill. RedLines was created not just as a board game about fictional characters, but as a mirror for our own emotional reactions. It is a safe space where you can take a step back and examine your own 'hooks' without shame or professional burnout."
Learn more and order the game on the official website:
RedLines: Emotional Detective by MriyaRun