Cycles of Development: How We Grow, Shape Our Life Script, and Become Ourselves
Human development is not merely a process of physical maturation but a complex system of psychological stages. For a long time, psychoanalysis and other classic schools viewed development from childhood to adulthood as a linear process. However, modern approaches in Transactional Analysis (TA) offer a different perspective: our development has a cyclical nature.
Understanding these processes allows us to better navigate our own states, heal childhood traumas, and effectively help others within psychotherapy.
Journal "About Emotions. Anger: How to Understand and Live Through It"
The Spiral of Development: Pamela Levin’s Concept
The pioneer of the cyclical idea is Pamela Levin, detailed in her works "The Cycle of Development" and "Becoming the Way We Are." Her main thesis is that the development of infants and young children does not end when maturity is reached.
Instead of perceiving life as a straight line, Levin proposes the metaphor of a spiral. Every few years, we revisit the same psychological tasks, but at a new, more adult level. If we did not receive the necessary support at a certain stage in childhood, we may experience crises, anxiety, or regression when passing through the same cycle in adulthood.
Six Stages of Development:
- Being: From birth to 6 months. The main task is to understand that it is safe to live and that the world is glad you are here.
- Doing: 6-18 months. A time for exploring the world, developing sensory skills, and trusting one's impulses.
- Thinking: 18 months – 3 years. Forming the ability to think, express anger, and separate one's feelings from those of others.
- Identity: 3-6 years. Awareness of one's gender, social role, and testing boundaries.
- Being Skillful: 6-12 years. Learning, interacting with rules, and developing competencies.
- Regeneration: 13-19 years. Adolescence, where all previous stages are traversed again to finalize the formation of the adult personality.
Affirmations and Permissions: Jean Illsley Clarke’s Approach
This theory was significantly expanded and adapted for a general audience by Jean Illsley Clarke in co-authorship with Connie Dawson. Clarke emphasizes that to successfully navigate each cycle, a person needs specific "permissions" from significant adults. These are messages that build healthy self-esteem:
- For the Being stage: "I am glad you are here," "Your needs are important."
- For the Thinking stage: "You can think for yourself and feel at the same time."
- For the Identity stage: "You can explore who you are, and I will still love you."
If parents fail to provide these permissions, the individual grows up with a deficit that affects their life script.
From Theory to Practice: Changing the Script
In modern TA psychotherapy, the concept of developmental cycles is a powerful tool. When an adult faces burnout, identity crises, or relationship problems, the therapist helps identify which developmental stage contains the deficit. Through therapy, the client can "grow" themselves by granting the permissions and affirmations they lacked in childhood.
Emotions as Developmental Markers: Navigating Feelings
Development is impossible without deep contact with one's own emotions. Every stage of Pamela Levin's cycle is accompanied by a specific emotional background. How a child (and later an adult) learns to recognize and contain their feelings determines their level of emotional intelligence (EQ). However, during upbringing, some emotions receive social approval, while others are strictly tabooed.
Journal "About Emotions. Anger: How to Understand and Live Through It"
The Role of Anger in Separation and Boundary Formation
The study of this emotion's nature is excellently covered in the specialized workbook-journal "Anger" by Dmytro Telushko. This self-therapy tool emphasizes a fundamental idea: anger is not destructive by nature. On the contrary, it is a vitally necessary indicator, a signaling system of our psyche pointing out violated personal boundaries or chronically unmet needs.
Applying this concept to the cycles of development, we see the following picture:
- At the "Thinking" stage (18 months to 3 years), a child first learns to separate from their parents. It is anger that becomes the psychological "fuel" giving the child the strength to say "No!" and assert their autonomy.
- If significant adults are frightened by childhood aggression and block its expression, the energy of anger is repressed into the unconscious. In adulthood, this unlived anger can manifest as passive aggression, psychosomatic disorders, Imposter Syndrome, or uncontrollable outbursts of rage.
Emotional Competence as a Result of Maturity
High emotional intelligence does not mean always remaining calm. True maturity is the ability to recognize the full spectrum of one's states. When we allow ourselves to ecologically process emotions in accordance with the tasks of our current life stage, we free up energy for creativity, building healthy relationships, and realizing our own potential.
Practical Insight from MriyaRun: From Theory to Self-Reflection
Knowing about developmental stages and the mechanisms of emotions is an important first step. However, true transformations only occur through regular practice.
A minimalist, meticulously thought-out approach to creating self-therapy tools helps remove unnecessary cognitive noise and focus on what matters most—one's inner world. The insight from the MriyaRun brand is that working with complex states can (and should) be made consistent and comprehensible. When the space for reflection is visually clean, it is easier for the psyche to unfold its deepest experiences.
If you feel that the energy of anger often drives your actions, or conversely, you are so used to suppressing it that you have lost touch with your own boundaries, it is worth shifting your focus to the conscious exploration of this emotion.
A special practical tool has been created for deep analysis and the safe processing of complex feelings: Journal "About Emotions. Anger: How to Understand and Live Through It"
Journal "About Emotions. Anger: How to Understand and Live Through It"