Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries by Dmytro Telushko
Architecture of Self-Respect: A Broad Review of the "Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" Practicum
Main product: Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries
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A Journey from Convenience to Personal Power
We often look for ways to communicate without hurting anyone's feelings, believing that boundaries are simply the ability to say the word "no" at the right time. But in reality, this work begins much deeper. Dmytro Telushko's "Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" is an extensive psychological journey about reclaiming the right to be alive. The right to feel, to choose, to stop, to protect oneself, and, most importantly, to build intimacy without constant self-betrayal.
At the heart of this work is the image of a woman who is exhausted from being "convenient". She is drained by the constant buffering of other people's emotions, the need to explain herself, to endure, to rescue, to agree, and to always put her own needs last. However, this practicum does not lead her into cold isolation. On the contrary: it reveals the harsh but healing truth that true boundaries are not a solid wall built against people. They create a space where two living "selves" can finally meet honestly.
This journey is structured around the ancient myth of Persephone: from Kore, who does not yet know her power, through the inevitable descent into the underworld of her own traumas and scripts, to the Mistress of the Two Worlds. A woman who knows how to stay in touch with her depths and return to everyday life with clarity, dignity, and self-reliance.
The Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries | Psychology Practicum MriyaRun by Dmytro Telushko
The Architecture of Healthy Boundaries
This book speaks of boundaries not as a set of mechanical techniques or rules for "correct communication". It views them as the fundamental architecture of self-respect.
Here, boundaries take on a completely different, non-idealized meaning. They are:
- a tool that allows you to hear your own emotions before your body breaks down;
- the unconditional right not to be convenient for others;
- the ability to firmly but calmly separate your responsibility from that of others;
- a conscious exit from the exhausting roles of rescuer, victim, or controller;
- the skill to avoid betraying yourself for the sake of the fragile peace of others;
- the only possible foundation for true intimacy, where "I" and "you" can coexist without consuming each other.
One of the most important breakthroughs in this approach is that boundaries do not diminish love. They remove fear, guilt, manipulation, and hidden self-bargaining from it. They make love mature.
Author's Framework: Responsibility Instead of Rescue
In this practicum, I do not take the position of an all-knowing guru who will tell you how to live. Already in the introduction, I directly take off the rescuer's crown, and this is a crucial therapeutic gesture.
My position as an author is as follows:
I will not live your story for you. But I can provide the map, images, questions, exercises, and supports that will help you write your own story of liberation.
This makes the work honest. The practicum does not sell a magical two-day healing. It offers a road where you yourself, step by step, take responsibility for seeing your scripts, recognizing reactions, acknowledging pain points, and choosing new possibilities. It is a blend of psychology, metaphor, game, and clear structure, designed for deep self-reflection.
The Myth of Persephone as a Structure of Transformation
The practicum is structured as an initiation consisting of three key stages.
Kore
This is the part of the psyche that still lives by other people's rules. She can be a "good girl"—convenient, quiet, obedient, purely functional. Her tragedy is that she often does not know where her own desire ends and the expectations of others begin.
The Underworld
This is an inevitable encounter with what has been repressed into the shadow for years: resentment, guilt, shame, fear, anger, childhood scripts, codependency, gaslighting, bullying, manipulation, and a harsh inner critic. This stage is not about drama for the sake of drama. It is about honest, ruthless recognition: what exactly has been controlling my reactions all this time?
Persephone
She is not a glossy "ideal woman with no problems". She is someone who already knows her depths, has seen her monsters, and can return to the world not with naive defenselessness, but with adult wisdom. The final image of the Mistress of the Two Worlds is very accurate: she does not cut herself off from people, but she never disappears into them again.
Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries by Dmytro Telushko
Five Key Insights of the Route
Insight 1. Indignation is not an explosion, but a signal
We often accumulate tension until it breaks through in an uncontrolled outburst. But anger or indignation does not necessarily have to be expressed immediately in a destructive action. First, they should be heard as an internal indicator: "something is wrong here," "my boundary has been touched," "I'm agreeing again where I don't want to".
Practical dimension: You receive a request to stay late after work. The first automatic reaction is to agree, because "it's the right thing to do". But your body is already tensing up. The old script demands that you be good. The new, adult approach says: "stop, this is a boundary signal". You take responsibility and answer: "I can't today. I can get back to this tomorrow".
Insight 2. Boundaries are an act of self-love, not aggression
Many people are afraid of boundaries, perceiving them as a rigid wall or a pushback. But if I have no boundaries, I start living for other people's tasks and exhaust myself. If I build only barricades, I lose connection. A healthy boundary is neither an attack nor a retreat. It is clarity that prevents self-betrayal.
Action: Say not "leave me alone," but "I need time to think about it".
Insight 3. The best slave does not need to be beaten
The epigraph from Erica Jong sets a sharp tone: sometimes external control is no longer needed because the person has perfectly learned to punish themselves. The strongest prison is on the inside: the language we use to speak to ourselves; the shame with which we restrain ourselves; the guilt with which we voluntarily force ourselves back into an old role.
Action: No one directly forbids you to rest. But the inner voice says: "do everything for everyone first," "don't be selfish". Your responsibility is to stop this voice and not postpone your life.
Insight 4. A donkey does not need to be re-educated
There are people and situations that frankly "kick back" on our path. Instead of spending your life trying to re-educate someone else, it's time to manage yourself. Boundaries begin where we abandon the illusion of controlling others.
Action: If a person systematically breaks agreements, you can spend years taking offense and proving them wrong. Or you can acknowledge reality and change your own action: don't rely on them, don't enter the game, don't give them access to what is critically important to you.
Insight 5. Boundaries are psychological immunity
The architecture of self-respect acts as an immune system. It prevents you from automatically getting drawn into old dramas, stops you from entering the rescuer role, helps you avoid taking on other people's responsibility, and stops you from shifting your own onto others. It solidifies the Adult position.
Direct Speech: Pillars for Reflection
These thoughts serve as anchors for our journey:
On boundaries: Boundaries are not coldness. They are a way to stay alive in contact. When I know where I am, I don't need to disappear into the other person or defend myself against them with a war.
On "no": "No" does not destroy intimacy. Intimacy is destroyed by a false "yes," spoken out of fear, guilt, or the desire to be convenient.
On the good girl role: A "good girl" is often not kind, but scared. She learned to survive through convenience. The task is not to break her, but to give her the right to grow up.
On indignation: Indignation is not proof that you are bad. Often, it is the first living signal that there is still a part inside that remembers: I cannot be treated this way.
On self-respect: Self-respect does not emerge from a beautiful phrase. It is built from small actions: not staying silent when it hurts; not agreeing when the body tenses up; not rescuing someone who didn't ask for it.
Formats of Work: How to Describe This Experience
Briefly:
"Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" is a 412-page journey toward an internal foundation. Through the myth of Persephone, psychological explanations, real-life examples, and practical exercises, we explore where you betray yourself for the sake of convenience, guilt, or fear of conflict. The goal is to gradually reclaim the right to a clear "yes," a calm "no," and your own space in relationships.
Deep and Emotional:
This practicum is for women who are tired of being convenient. For those who have kept the peace around them for too long at the cost of their own exhaustion. This is not a dry textbook or a notebook with random exercises. It is a specific route: from old scripts and an internal prison to self-respect, assertiveness, clear communication, and intimacy without self-betrayal.
Who Really Needs This?
This work is for those who recognize themselves in these states:
- often say "yes" even though everything inside drops and screams "no";
- feel toxic guilt when choosing themselves;
- are completely exhausted from being a "good girl";
- confuse care with neglecting their own needs;
- constantly take on other people's responsibilities;
- repeatedly fall into the roles of rescuer or victim;
- want to learn mature, assertive communication;
- experience deep exhaustion from relationships, work, or family dramas;
- are ready to gently but very honestly explore their own boundaries.
The MriyaRun Ecosystem: Tools That Support Each Other
All of our products are practicums that create a unified space for self-therapy. "The Mistress of Boundaries" interacts perfectly with other tools.
About Emotions. Anger: How to Understand and Live Through It
If "The Mistress of Boundaries" answers the question "where is my boundary?", the anger practicum shows "what power helps me protect this boundary?". Boundaries provide the form, and anger provides the energy. They work as a pair, where assertiveness becomes the mode of expression.
Insight: Anger is not the enemy of boundaries. It is often their first guard.
Diary of Acceptance
When you start holding boundaries, sadness inevitably arises: not all people will accept your new form, not all relationships will withstand honesty. This practicum is the next step to stop fighting reality.
Insight: Acceptance is not agreeing with the pain. It is the moment when I stop wasting energy on denial and start seeing what I can do now.
Bodily Diary "Conversation with Oneself"
Often, the first boundary violation is registered not by the mind, but by the body: the stomach turns to stone, the throat tightens, you want to freeze. This diary teaches you to hear the reaction before you automatically agree to what is destroying you.
Insight: The body often knows "no" before we allow ourselves to say it.
Diary-Marathon
If diving into 412 pages at once is too hard, the marathon provides a 28-day structure and focus for a gentle start and to build the habit of reflection.
Insight: Big changes start easier not with a grand promise, but with a small daily meeting with yourself.
MAC cards "Dreams"
A visual continuation of therapeutic work. Where rational explanation stalls, the image reveals the truth. What does your old role look like? What resource is needed for your "no"?
Insight: Sometimes an image speaks the truth faster than a rational explanation.
Diary-Course of Self-Discovery
A broader entry into the topic of psychological defenses and personal patterns. A compact baseline before moving into the narrow specialization of boundaries.
Insight: Before changing your life, it is important to see the internal rules by which it already operates.
Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries by Dmytro Telushko
Echoes of the Theme in Daily Life
These micro-reflections and practical letters unfold the theme in real-time, when theory meets everyday life.
Your body has already said "no"
Sometimes a boundary is crossed even before you can explain it in words. The body tenses up. Breathing shortens. Shoulders rise. Irritation or fatigue appears inside. This is not "you being too sensitive". It is the first signal of a boundary. We learn to hear these signals and transform them not into a breakdown, but into clear action.
"No" does not make you bad
"No" can be honesty, not aggression. It can be a care for reality, not a rejection. "No" can be a way to save a relationship from hidden anger. The problem is not that we don't know the word. The problem is that we are ashamed to have the right to use it.
The trap of the rescuer role
The rescuer seems strong. She holds everything together, understands everything, helps everyone. But often, behind this role lies fear: if I am no longer needed, I won't be loved. Boundaries restore a different form of intimacy—not through self-sacrifice, but through honest presence.
Self-respect is built through actions
Self-respect is not an affirmation in front of the mirror. It is a rigorous daily practice. It appears when you: do not agree automatically; take a pause; ask; refuse; acknowledge your fatigue; do not take on someone else's responsibility and stay with yourself even when it is frankly inconvenient for someone else.
A Letter to the One Who Is Tired
Subject: When "being convenient" becomes too expensive.
There is a tiredness that sleep does not cure. It is the fatigue of constant accommodation.
When you agree even though you don't want to.
When you stay silent so as not to create a conflict.
When you rescue others but disappear for yourself.
When your body is screaming "enough," and the familiar voice still says: "it's nothing, it's okay".
"Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" is 412 pages of practical work on reclaiming yourself. We will go through the myth of Persephone, working with emotions, scripts, codependency, and assertiveness toward your own right to a clear "yes" and a calm "no".
This book is not about how to become rigid. This book is about how to stop betraying yourself.
Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries by Dmytro Telushko
Conclusion: More Than a Book. The Architecture of Life
"Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" is the central psychological practicum in the MriyaRun line dedicated to self-respect and the right to one's own life.
Its therapeutic power lies not in the volume of the text, but in the sequential route:
- To see your old, "convenient" role.
- To understand without illusions where it was born.
- To learn to hear your body and emotions in the moment.
- To clearly separate your responsibility from that of others.
- To step out of endless dramatic triangles.
- To learn to speak directly and honestly.
- To build not a barricade from the world, but a solid architecture of your own self-respect.
Together with the anger practicum, the bodily diary, the MAC cards, and the marathon, this tool forms a complete self-therapy ecosystem. An ecosystem where you take responsibility for your life into your own hands.