Emotional Intelligence Diary: Fear, Anger and Joy

Elena can already hear chairs moving in the auditorium. In a few minutes it will be her turn to play, but her fingers have gone cold and one sentence keeps repeating: “I will forget everything.” It would be easy to call herself a coward or insist that there is nothing to fear. She tries a different entry: “I am afraid of losing my place in front of people. I have prepared, but I cannot guarantee a flawless performance. I can start more slowly and allow myself a pause.” The fear remains, with a specific action now available alongside it.

These small changes are worth noticing when we talk about emotional intelligence. A person gradually learns to recognise feelings, check their understanding of a situation and choose a response. Feelings influence decisions together with thoughts, experience and circumstances. The phrase “IQ is about thoughts, EQ about feelings” may start a conversation, but in everyday life these processes are intertwined.

The MriyaRun Emotional Intelligence diary offers 28 days of practice organised into four thematic weeks: fear, anger, sadness and joy. This provides a structure for observing yourself. You may become more familiar with your reactions during that time, although a calendar cannot determine the pace of change. Missing a day does not erase earlier work, and a difficult conversation at the end of week four does not mean you have failed.

Fear can arise in response to real danger, an unfamiliar situation or the memory of an earlier setback. It matters to establish what is happening now. Before her performance, Elena is afraid of making a mistake. Around an aggressive person, fear may suggest creating distance and seeking help. “Go where you feel afraid” can be inappropriate advice without this distinction.

An entry can separate an event from a prediction: “My interview is tomorrow” and “They will definitely humiliate me” are different statements. You can then ask what you know about the conditions, what support is available and which step is manageable. Preparing an example of your work, asking about the format of the meeting or declining unsafe conditions are different decisions, each requiring its own reasons.

An emotion wheel can help you look for a more precise word: anxiety, uncertainty or apprehension. There is no need to guess one correct label. It is more useful to notice how the feeling changes and what helps you stay in contact with what is happening.

Anger sometimes accompanies a boundary being crossed or a sense of injustice. It can also intensify through fatigue, disappointment or our interpretation of someone’s words. The strength of a feeling alone cannot establish who is right. At the same time, you do not have to deny your anger before investigating the circumstances.

Suppose a colleague asks you for the third time to finish their task in the evening. You can write down the specific request, your reaction and the answer you want to give. “They always use me” deserves checking against the facts; “I am not taking on extra work today” may already communicate a clear boundary. You do not necessarily have to achieve complete calm first. What matters is avoiding turning irritation into insults or threats.

The diary includes a Ukrainian sequence called “7-P”: catch the reaction, breathe, drink water, stretch, think, put something positive in your heart and give thanks. You can use it as a reminder to pause when circumstances allow. Breathing should remain comfortable and movement accessible. Looking for something supportive and expressing gratitude are appropriate only when they do not pressure you to justify mistreatment. In danger, protection and help remain the priority.

Sadness often follows loss, disappointment or a change in an important relationship. Sometimes we cannot yet explain its cause. An entry can make room for that uncertainty: “Today feels difficult, and I do not yet know why.” There is no need to immediately turn the experience into a lesson or find a benefit in it.

For someone returning to an empty flat after a breakup, “What should I let go of?” may sound like another demand. Other questions may be more manageable: what am I missing today, whom could I contact, how can I arrange dinner and sleep? Tears may come, but they are not compulsory evidence of processing a feeling correctly. Sadness alone, or holding it back, does not establish a diagnosis of depression: NIMH explains how passing low mood differs from a depressive disorder.

If low mood persists, significantly disrupts everyday life or writing on your own makes things worse, consider professional support. A diary can help you describe your experience during a conversation, but it cannot replace assessment and the care you may need.

After an hour working on the bicycle, the wheel finally spins freely. A father looks at his daughter; she laughs at the smear of grease on his cheek. The repair was awkward, and they argued, yet this short moment feels good to them both. Joy can coexist with tiredness and unfinished business.

An entry only needs to note what happened and what mattered: doing something together, relief, curiosity or closeness. This can help you notice your own preferences. You do not need to prove that the day was happy or compare a simple pleasure with some supposed “true happiness.” Rest does not always have to be earned by finishing every task, either.

Choose one situation rather than the entire day. Describe the event, name the feeling in your own words, and add any noticeable bodily sensations and your explanation of what happened. Then check which parts of that explanation are known and which remain assumptions. Finish with a small action: ask a question, decline, rest, seek support or leave the decision open for now.

Tracking sleep, mood, plans and gratitude provides additional context. Comparing entries, you might notice that sharp replies occur more often after a short night. That is an observation to investigate, not a verdict on your character. An entry does not always need to end with a positive conclusion.

At the end of 28 days, reread a few pages and look for a concrete difference: where you once wrote only “Something is wrong with me,” there may now be an event, a feeling and a possible next step. You can continue using the Emotional Intelligence diary after the programme, returning to difficult situations at your own pace and distinguishing more clearly between what you feel and what you decide to do.