Struggling with a career crisis? Discover how developmental psychology and the Cycles of Power can help you reclaim your true identity and purpose.
This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or psychotherapeutic advice. If you are experiencing an acute psychological condition or need professional support, please contact a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or crisis service.
How to Find Your Calling, or The Power to Be "Born Again"
Do you often feel like you're at a dead end? The state of "I don't know what I want" is not just a lack of ideas. From the perspective of developmental psychology (according to Pamela Levin), it's a signal that your internal Cycles of Power have malfunctioned. You are stuck in "someone else's skin" because, early in your development, your natural impulses were replaced by parental expectations.
The Stage of "Being": Do You Have the Right to Just Be Yourself?
Ask yourself in front of a mirror: "What do I want?". If this question triggers frustration or physical resistance, the very first cycle—the Being Stage (0–6 months)—was likely disrupted. During this time, a child receives permission to "be here" and "have needs."
If your parents "stretched" their expectations over you, they effectively said: "We don't need you as you are, but as we imagined you to be." This is how a "false self" is born. You learned to survive by ignoring your own impulses, and now your internal "desire center" is simply switched off for safety.
The Stages of "Doing" and "Exploring": Who Stole Your Curiosity?
When you remember being forbidden from becoming a musician or an artist, you are revisiting the Doing Stage (6–18 months) and the Exploring Stage (1.5–3 years).
- Your Power: To explore the world and trust your senses.
- Parental "No": "Don't touch that," "That's not a real job," "Math is more important."
When a child's natural curiosity is blocked for the sake of "stability" (office work, notary), the neural pathways responsible for pleasure in activity atrophy. You work and expend energy but get no joy in return because your activity does not nourish your true power structure.
The Stage of "Arguments" (Adolescence): Reclaiming the Right to Rebel
Pamela Levin’s work reminds us that cycles repeat. What we didn't fully experience in childhood, we get a chance to "re-take" during adolescence (13–19 years)—the Stage of Arguments and Separation.
That’s why it’s vital to remember: who did you want to be at 14? This was your first serious attempt to break the "second skin" of parental instructions. Your interests back then weren't just hobbies; they were surviving fragments of your true identity.
How to Reclaim Your Power: Step by Step
According to the developmental concept, you cannot "skip" stages. Don't quit your job tomorrow—it will cause too much stress for your fragile "new" persona.
- Give Yourself Permission to "Be": Start small—allow yourself to want little things (the taste of coffee, the color of a notebook). Reconnect with your body.
- Allow Yourself Spontaneity (Doing Stage): Dancing, drawing, sewing—these are not "childish trifles." This is action therapy that helps rebuild the neural connections broken in childhood.
- Grow a New Identity Under the Protection of the Old: Your current job is a "temporary shell." Don't break it prematurely. Build your inner strength for self-realization until it becomes so strong that the old form cracks on its own.
Finding your calling is not about finding the "perfect job"; it’s about the process of healing your developmental cycles. It is reclaiming your right to want, to act, and to be successful on your own terms.
- MriyaRun: Journals, MAC Cards and Self-Reflection
- Psychologist Toolkit
- Finding Your Calling With Pamela Levin’s Cycles