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Yes. Most MriyaRun journals, workbooks, books and metaphorical cards can be used independently by following the instructions included with the relevant product. You may work at your own pace, skip exercises that are not suitable for you or stop the practice if it causes significant distress. If you require professional assistance, please contact a qualified professional.

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Posts

08 August, 2023

Emotional Dependency: Closeness, Fear of Loss, and Boundaries

Dmytro Telushko

Dmytro Telushko is a psychologist and author of MriyaRun. He writes about emotions, boundaries, relationships, self-esteem, life scripts, and creates practical self-therapeutic tools for gentle self-exploration.

How to distinguish closeness from self-erasure, why fear of rejection drives control and concessions, and how to restore boundaries without devaluing relationships.

This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or psychotherapeutic advice. If you are experiencing an acute psychological condition or need professional support, please contact a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or crisis service.

Time will help to find an acceptable method of getting rid of emotional dependence of a more complex order - after a month you will understand which of the activities distracts you from thoughts about another person.

Emotional dependence

To begin with, let's imagine the relationship "you to me - I to you" in the form of an exchange of "capital". Our kindness, attention, loyalty and other positive feelings will act as "capital".

We can consider love relationships as an investment of "capital" in a person close to us. We "invest" in him our tender feelings, emotions, care and count on the fact that this "investment" will bring "dividends" - his feelings, emotions and care for us

The more we invest in the object of our feelings, the more we expect dividends. This is how our emotional dependence on the object of our feelings is created.

One tip, how to stop fighting over small things?

In the case of harmonious relationships, when both people "invest" in each other equally, the emotional dependence is mutual and strengthens the family. But if one person "invested" and the other did not, the emotional dependence is not mutual. It is one-sided, that is. holds one, but from the other.

And it is important to understand that in case of separation, emotional dependence is protected, because the love object goes and TAKES all "investments" with him. These are invested in the "capital" that has gone and create the force of gravity. This is how the situation "I can't love anyone" arises - the heart and soul have already been given and taken in an unknown direction.

A person has wasted his "capital" on an unscrupulous or unsuitable partner, and can no longer share his "capital" with another person. How to keep love at a distance?

A person can be in this state for decades (or even all his life), suffering from loneliness and unfulfilled feelings, although in fact the way out of the situation is very simple - after parting, you need to return all the "capital" that you "invested" in the person who left You. a person

The method of "capital return" is one of the most effective methods of modern psychology. She is able to quickly restore psychological health to a person who has experienced a loss and get rid of emotional dependence.

Loss of a loved one. How to survive the loss?

People who have suffered for years from the breakup of a relationship, from the experienced loss of a loved one, literally in 1-2 days of using this technique restore their potential, and get rid of suffering and painful feelings of loss.

The technique allows you to get rid of emotional dependence and is based on visual representations of your feelings. Because the images of feelings are the feelings themselves, one must imagine the return of one's feelings as images.

Sequence of actions:

- figuratively imagine the feelings that were "invested" in the departed person (kindness, attention, care);

- Return these images to yourself.

Feelings can be represented in different images, for example, someone represents them in the form of a white cloud, someone in the form of a sun, someone in the form of a stream, flowers, etc.

It is better to imagine the feeling in front of you on the table. When feelings are presented, and you clearly know that these are the same feelings that connect you with a person, then you need to put these feelings in yourself, draw them into your body and dissolve in it.

Actually, that's all. A person, having completed this simple exercise and getting rid of emotional dependence, gets his "capital" back.

Now he will be able to share "capital" with others again, "invest" it again (and get burned without fear) and love again. Now he is finally able to get rid of emotional dependence and loneliness. How to learn to love and respect yourself?

It is important to add that in a similar way you can get rid of any emotional addictions, not only to the person with whom we broke up, but also to harmful products, for example, alcohol.

You can fight this addiction using the method described above:

— imagine your "holiday feeling" in the form of an image (for example, in the form of fireworks, confetti, a Christmas tree, etc.);

— to put this feeling to oneself, to dissolve it in one's body.

As a result of this imaginative performance, the feeling of the holiday, which was previously strongly associated with a bottle of alcohol, has now moved to you. Now alcohol is no longer needed to evoke this feeling - it is now in your body, not in a bottle, and can be felt at any second at your will.

You can use the same method to get rid of emotional addiction to food products that provoke weight gain, etc. About Internet addiction

People regulate through relationships, seeking support and belonging. Difficulty begins when preserving contact repeatedly requires abandoning needs, friends, decisions, or safety.

Anger and tension as boundary signals

Uncertainty can trigger checking, repeated messages, jealousy, concessions, or attempts to predict another person's mood. These reduce anxiety briefly while increasing dependence on reassurance.

It does not control another person. It clarifies consent, what I will do when an agreement is broken, and what responsibility I can carry. Financial, social, and physical autonomy matter too.

Interdependence includes support and compromise while preserving the right to say no. Threats, control, isolation, or violence require safety and outside help, not only self-regulation.