This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or psychotherapeutic advice. If you are experiencing an acute psychological condition or need professional support, please contact a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or crisis service.
In today's world of perfectionism and multitasking, it is important to sometimes allow yourself to do nothing, accepting this state as a natural part of life.
An interesting meeting took place at one of my master classes on stress management and revitalization. Among the participants was a woman named Marina, who attracted my attention with her passivity. While discussing different approaches to coping with stress, she suddenly said, "I don't want anything." It wasn't a question, but a statement that made everyone think.
I asked her to explain in more detail.
- Marina: You see, I don't want anything. I don't want to go anywhere, do something. I literally do not want anything!
These words touched me deeply, and I asked:
— Coach: And for whom do you not want?
This question made Marina think. Her smile disappeared, and her gaze went somewhere in the distance, to her memories.
— Coach: Who constantly pushed you somewhere, insisted?
Marina covered her face with her palm and sighed heavily.
It was a group meeting where personal experiences are rarely shared. After the master class, Marina approached me and asked for my phone number. But she never came.
In this workshop, we discussed laziness as a natural mechanism of our body that signals the need for rest. I explained to the participants that laziness is not always the enemy. Often it hides apathy, depression or protest against excessive demands. We talked about how important it is to learn to listen to your body and give it time to recover.
Marina became a vivid example of how deep inner feelings can be manifested through laziness. Her story prompted many participants of the master class to think about their lives and made them reconsider their attitude to rest and self-preservation.
After all, laziness can be an important signal that our body and mind need a break. By accepting and understanding this state, we can find a balance between activity and rest that contributes to our overall well-being.
Laziness is the most mysterious mechanism, it seems to me. She is underestimated.
Laziness - lack of desire to act, work. This is a desire for inactivity or rest.
Most of the requests in the sessions are to get rid of this desire and finally start doing something useful and productive.
Laziness often hides apathy, depression, protest.
"Laziness can be a manifestation of low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem can doubt their abilities so much that without doing anything, they already doom themselves to a negative result. Why do something if nothing will work out?"
Laziness can be very resourceful and even vital.
It's a pity that no one comes and asks "How to become a lazy woman?"
More often it is "How to manage everything!"
The malicious perfectionism of modern people, especially women, fueled by multitasking is perfectly prevented by laziness.
In such requests, I try to use LAZY as a resource.
Once a woman named Olena came to me for a consultation. She was exhausted and on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Her life consisted of endless affairs: work, household duties, taking care of children. She complained that she did not have time for anything and constantly felt that she should do more. "I can't afford to be lazy," she said. But is it so?
I suggested that Elena reconsider her attitude to laziness. Laziness is not always the enemy of productivity. Sometimes this is a natural signal of the body about the need to rest and reset. The constant pursuit of an ideal and the desire to be in time for everything can lead to burnout and serious health problems.
— You see, I paid for two study programs. And an even younger child needs to be enrolled in kindergarten. There is rubble in the country. I don't have time for anything! I need to finish the programs by February, and I... I don't sleep at night anyway, I'm nervous and I'm constantly afraid that I won't make it in time. And things do not decrease and do not decrease.
- How can I help you? Write diplomas for you? (smiling, the client is studying to be a psychologist)
- I became very nervous and snap at the children. I don't want to be like that for them... I'm constantly under tension.
- What stresses you out the most?
- That's all! All these matters, all these MUST! I just want to be with the kids!
— What prevents you from just relaxing and spending time with your children?
- I want to show the children an example! That in this life you have to work hard to achieve something.
— Is it important to rest in this life?
- Oh, what are you! They know how to be lazy!
- And you?
- Me? You mean just sit on the couch?
- For example.
- It's scary... It was somehow scary, as I imagined.
- What are you afraid of?
Next, we went to controlling parents and not only that. There have been cases of psychosomatic manifestations after denying oneself rest.
So, for example, when the client refused to go on vacation, there were bouts of tachycardia, increased blood pressure, then stomach problems, and the third time - a broken leg - as a result, three hospital stays. Of course, a serious reason to lie on the sofa - there is no way out! This is not laziness at all.
We started working on Olena allowing herself to do nothing sometimes. She learned to find time to relax and not feel guilty about it. Over time, Olena noticed that her working capacity even increased, and her life became more harmonious. It turned out that accepting laziness as a natural part of life helped her find a balance between activity and rest, which contributed to her physical and mental health.
Thus, laziness, if properly understood and used, can be an important component of our well-being. It helps us conserve energy, avoid burnout and maintain inner harmony.
There is no need to escape from laziness.
Only if a competent diagnosis revealed "pseudo laziness" - apathy and passivity, as depressive symptoms.
Laziness sometimes appears as a result of trauma and is a necessary component of recovery, protects against impulsive actions and saves energy.
I suggest reclaiming laziness, often calling it humility.
Clients do not "take", do not use, laziness.
Humility is the absence of pride, the willingness to submit to someone else's will.
Someone else's will is both the body's needs, and divine design, if such terminology has a place in working with a client, and just life. We often have to act in given conditions.
I urge you to act whenever you need to pull yourself out of apathy and despair.
I urge you to be lazy, not to do, observe, contemplate, humble yourself.
Trust what is happening.
Both approaches are valid.
So, for example:
A woman on maternity leave does not have time to do banal household chores - she may try to keep up, strain and waste precious resources and priceless minutes that can be spent with the child.
But, coming to terms with the new status, with the dust on the windowsill at the end, and allowing herself to "lazily" enjoy the company of the child and walks - she will be much happier and more harmonious, safer for the child.
A healthy personality is a flexible personality!
Competent inclusion of laziness as one of the facets of humility is a guarantee of health.
"Do not do, do not strive" - brings peace to life, in cases when desires and tasks are not feasible at the moment.
Laziness can be a valuable indicator and an important element of self-preservation. Instead of constantly fighting it, sometimes you should listen to your body and allow yourself to rest. This will help to avoid burnout, maintain mental and physical health, and also find new strength for future achievements. The ability to accept and use laziness as a natural part of one's life will contribute to achieving inner harmony and balance.
Laziness or Exhaustion: Identifying the Cause of Inaction
The same delay can have different causes. Rest may fit exhaustion, task clarification may fit ambiguity, support may fit fear, and persistent loss of energy may require professional assessment.
A practical MriyaRun tool
Body Journal: Conversation with Yourself can help structure observations around this topic. It is a self-reflection tool, not a replacement for psychological or medical care.