Our mind possesses an amazing arsenal of tools to protect us from painful experiences, anxiety, and internal conflicts. Some of these tools are formed so early that they operate beyond the bounds of our conscious control.

I group together the discussion of two of the most primitive defensive processes, projection and introjection, because they represent two sides of the same psychological coin. In both, there is a lack of psychological differentiation between the self and the surrounding world. As mentioned earlier, in normal infancy, before a child develops the ability to distinguish between sensations coming from within and from without, there is a generalized sense of "self" that is identical to the experience of the "whole world."

An infant suffering from colic likely experiences it subjectively as "Pain!" rather than "Something inside me hurts." They are not yet capable of distinguishing internal pain (colic) from discomfort originating outside (the pressure of a too-tight diaper). At this stage of undifferentiation, the processes begin to operate that we will later call projection and introjection, owing to their defensive function. When these processes work together, they combine into a single defense called projective identification. Some authors (Scharff, 1922) distinguish between projective and introjective identification, but in reality, both varieties utilize analogous processes.

Infants are born with an immature nervous system and do not yet have a concept of "I." Their psyche operates on a principle of totality: if they feel good, the entire Universe is good and safe; if they are in pain, the whole world turns into pain. Only over time, thanks to consistent and adequate responses from parents, does the child begin to realize the boundaries of their body and understand that the world and their emotions are distinct things.

Projection is the process whereby what comes from within is mistakenly perceived as coming from without.

In its benign and mature forms, it serves as the basis for empathy. Since no one can penetrate another person's psyche, we must rely on our ability to project our own experience to understand the subjective world of another. Intuition, phenomena of non-verbal synchrony, and intense experiences of mystical unity with another person or group are linked to the projection of one's own "self," with powerful emotional resonance for both parties. It is well known that lovers perceive each other's states in ways they themselves cannot logically explain.

Projection in its destructive forms carries dangerous misunderstandings and massive damage to interpersonal relationships. When projected attitudes seriously distort the object, or when the projected content consists of denied and highly negative parts of the self, all sorts of problems arise. Someone may resent being misunderstood. If, for example, prejudice, envy, or persecution are attributed to these individuals (qualities most often ignored in oneself and attributed to others), they will reciprocate in kind. If projection is a person's primary way of understanding the world and adapting to life, we can speak of a paranoid character.

Important Note on Paranoia: Please note that, according to the psychoanalytic definition, paranoia does not inherently have anything to do with suspiciousness, which may well be based on realistic, non-projected observation and experience, as well as on the correct or incorrect attribution of projected qualities. If a projection "hits the mark," it does not cease to be a projection. It is easier to detect projection where it is "inadequate," but even then, one cannot rule out the possibility that there was another, non-defensive reason for misunderstanding the motives behind someone else's behavior. In everyday life, "paranoia" is confused with "fearfulness" or "mistrustfulness," which does not contribute to terminological accuracy, although it cannot be denied that people usually project unpleasant contents to which they then react with fear and revulsion.

Destructive projection: A man who subconsciously feels an urge to cheat, but suppresses these thoughts due to intense guilt, begins to baselessly accuse his wife of infidelity. He is so unable to tolerate his own desires that his psyche "throws" them outward. Now it is not he who wants to cheat, but she who is supposedly cheating on him. Healthy projection: When we see someone crying over the loss of a beloved dog, we project our own experience of sadness onto that person. We literally "feel their pain," which allows us to approach and genuinely sympathize.

Introjection is the process whereby what comes from the outside is mistakenly perceived as coming from within.

In its benign forms, it leads to primitive identification with significant others. Young children absorb all sorts of attitudes, affects, and behaviors from the important people in their lives. This process is so subtle that it seems mysterious. However, if you notice it, it's impossible to mistake. Long before a child is capable of making a subjective, willful decision to be like Mom or Dad, they have already "swallowed" them in some primitive sense.

In its less positive forms, introjection, like projection, is a highly destructive process. The most famous and striking examples of pathological introjection involve a process that, considering its primitiveness, is somewhat unhappily named "identification with the aggressor" (A. Freud, 1936).

Important Note on Identification: Technically, most analysts reserve the term "identification" for those internalizations that are subjectively experienced as voluntary (Schafer, 1968). A three-year-old girl who wants to be "like Mom" identifies in a much less primitive way than a two-year-old child who simply absorbs Mom's qualities. "Identification" with the aggressor is automatic, unconscious, and completely unrelated to subjective choice, so it would be more accurate to call it introjection. But now that we have been using this less precise term for decades, there is no question of replacing it.

It is well known both from direct observations in natural settings (Bettelheim, 1960) and from empirical studies (Milgram, 1963) that in situations involving fear or abuse, people try to master their fear and suffering by adopting the qualities of their tormentors. "I am not a helpless victim; I am the one striking the blows, and I am powerful," — people are unconsciously drawn to such a defense. Understanding this mechanism is critically important for the psychotherapy process. It does not map perfectly onto any diagnostic categories, yet it manifests especially vividly in characterological tendencies toward sadism, explosiveness, and what is often misleadingly called impulsivity.

Another way introjection can lead to pathology is related to grief and its relationship to depression (Freud, 1917). When we love or are deeply attached to someone, we introject that person, and their representation inside us becomes a part of our identity ("I am Tom's son, Mary's husband, Sue's father, Dan's friend," and so on). If the person whose image we internalized dies, is separated from us, or rejects us, we feel not only that the surrounding world has become poorer, but also that we ourselves have somehow diminished, that some part of our own "self" has died. A sense of emptiness begins to dominate our inner world.

Furthermore, if in attempting to recreate the presence of the beloved object instead of letting it go, we become consumed by the question of what mistake or sin of ours caused them to leave. The pulling power of this usually unconscious process is based on the hidden hope that by understanding our mistake, we will bring the person back (another manifestation of infantile omnipotence). Thus, if we try to avoid grief, we instead get unconscious self-reproach. Freud (1917) beautifully described the process of mourning as a gradual reconciliation with the situation of loss, in which "the shadow of the object fell upon the ego."

If a person is unable over time to internally separate from the loved one whose image they have introjected, and cannot emotionally shift to other people (which is the function of the mourning process), they will continue to feel "diminished," unworthy, depleted, and lost. People who systematically use introjection to reduce anxiety and maintain the integrity of their self by retaining psychological ties to unsatisfactory objects from their early years can justifiably be viewed as characterologically depressive.

Identification with the aggressor: A child who is constantly bullied by high schoolers, instead of seeking help, becomes a "bully" themselves and starts picking on younger or weaker kids. They introject the attitude of their abuser so they never have to feel like a helpless victim again. The Inner Critic: If parents were overly demanding and critical during childhood, the person "swallows" their voice in adulthood. The parents may no longer be around, but every time before an important presentation, the person hears inside: "You're going to ruin everything again."

Melanie Klein (1946) was the first analyst to describe a defensive process she consistently found in the most disturbed patients, which she termed "projective identification." Ogden (1982) succinctly characterized this combination of projective and introjective mechanisms as follows:

"In projective identification, not only does the patient perceive the therapist in a distorted way determined by the patient's early object relations; in addition, pressure is exerted on the therapist to experience himself in a way congruent with the patient's unconscious fantasy."

In other words, the patient not only projects internal objects but also forces the person onto whom they project them to behave like those objects—as if they had the same introjects.

Projective identification is a complex concept that has sparked much debate in psychoanalytic literature (Finell, 1986). Some researchers have argued that projective identification is qualitatively no different from projection, while others believed that the introduction of this concept is of immense clinical and theoretical significance (Kernberg, 1975). As I understand it, it fits into the following framework: both projection and introjection have a whole continuum of forms—from the most primitive to the most mature (Kernberg, 1976). At the primitive end of the spectrum, they are fused, as internal and external are mixed. It is this fusion that we call projective identification. In Chapter 4, I briefly discussed its operation in psychotic and borderline states.

In compromised mental health, projective identification, along with splitting, forms the basis for inferring a borderline personality organization. Because of its powerful projective component, it is especially closely linked to the borderline level of paranoid personality.

However, contrary to popular opinion among professionals, projective identification is not only used by people who can be classified as borderline. This process can manifest in our daily lives through a multitude of subtle and entirely healing interactions, without any psychopathology. For instance, when the projected and introjected content elicits feelings of love and joy, it can unite a group with a favorable emotion. Even if this content is negative, provided the process lacks the qualities of relentlessness, intensity, and isolation from other more mature interpersonal processes, it does not necessarily lead to destructive results.

Finally, patients' communications have entirely different emotional impacts. It is easy for a therapist to sympathize with Patient A. A working alliance should form quickly between them. With Patient B, the therapist will just as quickly start to feel exactly as the patient perceives them: indifferent, judgmental, and unwilling to expend the energy needed to try and care for this patient. In other words, the therapist's countertransference with the first patient will be positive and mild; with the second, negative and intense.

The property of projective identification to act as a "self-fulfilling prophecy" was once explained to me by Cohen (personal communication, February 1987) as a natural result of a degree of disturbance sufficient for reality testing to be based on very primitive mechanisms, yet insufficient for psychosis. A woman unconsciously invested in remaining rooted in reality will feel less crazy if she elicits in another person the manifestation of feelings she is convinced they harbor. A truly psychotic woman does not care whether her projection "fits" or not; therefore, she does not force others to confirm the adequacy of her projection (and thus her normality) through their reactions.

A woman who has a deep subconscious fear of abandonment is convinced that her partner wants to leave her (even though he has had no such thoughts). She starts behaving highly suspiciously, checks his phone, throws tantrums over trivial matters, and constantly asks, "Do you not love me anymore? Do you want to leave?" Eventually, under this frantic pressure and baseless accusations, the partner becomes so exhausted and irritated that he actually starts thinking about ending the relationship. The woman feels relieved that she "was right," not even realizing that she herself provoked the exact behavior she feared the most.

Projective identification is a particularly powerful influence that challenges a therapist's capacity to help. All the defenses discussed in this chapter are considered primitive, but this one, like splitting (discussed below), has a special reputation among clinicians as a source of torment. When dealing with a patient who is absolutely certain of the "truth" of your feelings, and their relentless struggle to make you feel exactly that—it takes a clear head and iron self-discipline to withstand such an emotional onslaught.

Moreover, because we are all human, every emotion, defense, and attitude exists within each of us. Therefore, it can never be said that the person engaging in projective identification is absolutely wrong. At the peak of clinical interaction, it can indeed be very difficult to determine where the patient's defense ends and the therapist's psyche begins. It is probably precisely because this patient's defense threatens the therapist's confidence in their own professional competence and the adequacy of their reality testing that this mechanism is considered so exhausting.

The main goal of any self-therapy and emotional intelligence development is the ability to reclaim authorship of your own life and clearly set boundaries between your inner world and reality. Primitive defenses (projection, introjection, and projective identification) do everything they can to blur these lines.

We unconsciously "throw" our unacceptable emotions—such as suppressed anger or envy—onto other people (projection), or we "swallow" others' destructive attitudes, mistaking them for our own thoughts (introjection).

Here is how you can use the knowledge of these mechanisms as a tool for self-reflection:

1. The Projection Trap: "What triggers me so much in others?" When you feel a disproportionately strong emotional reaction (anger, irritation, disgust) to another person's behavior, pause. Instead of focusing on their "flaws," ask yourself:

2. The Introjection Trap: "Whose voice is my inner critic speaking with?" When you scold yourself for a mistake, feel guilty, or think "I ruined everything again," listen to that voice.

3. The Projective Identification Trap: "Am I playing someone else's game right now?" If, when communicating with a certain person, you suddenly start feeling out of character (for example, making excuses, or feeling like an aggressor or a rescuer), even though there are no objective reasons for it:

Main takeaway for practice: Emotional literacy begins with the ability to notice fusion in time. Using self-reflection journals or workbooks is a great way to bring these processes from the unconscious onto paper. What is written down and analyzed stops controlling us "from the shadows" and gives us back control over our own state.