Psychological Analysis of "To the Bone": Anorexia, Family Systems, and the Search for Self
The movie "To the Bone" (2017) is not merely a drama about an eating disorder (ED). It is a profound illustration of a family system, an identity crisis, and the eternal battle between Eros (the drive for life) and Thanatos (the drive for death).
Let's analyze this film through the lens of various psychological approaches, considering relationship dynamics and the protagonist's internal conflicts.
1. The Protagonist: Ellen and her "Shadow"
Ellen (Lily Collins) is a classic example of how anorexia serves as a method of hypercontrol.
- Anorexia as Defense: In a world defined by chaos (divorced parents, a mother with mental health issues, a perpetually absent father), the only thing Ellen can control absolutely is her body and what enters it.
- Body Dissociation: She perceives her body as an object, a project, or an enemy, but not as part of herself. She "leaves" her body to avoid feeling pain.
- Name Change (Ellen $\rightarrow$ Eli): Dr. Beckham suggests she change her name. This is a symbolic act of separation from the "sick girl Ellen" to a new persona, "Eli." It is a Jungian motif of rebirth: the old Self must die (metaphorically) for the new one to live.
2. The Family System: The Root of the Problem
The film brilliantly shows that an ED is often a symptom of the dysfunction of the entire family, not just the illness of one individual.
Biological Mother (Judy) and Parentification
The mother suffered from postpartum depression and could not provide Ellen with a basic sense of safety and acceptance in childhood. Later, she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
- Parentification: Ellen had to become a "parent" to her own mother, taking care of her. This is an unbearable burden for a child.
- Key Scene (The Bottle Feeding): This is the film's most powerful moment. The mother admits: “I can’t be the mother you need, but I can feed you.”This is an act of radical regression. Ellen allows herself to return to an infant state to "receive" what she missed—unconditional maternal care without demands. It is the closing of the gestalt of basic trust in the world.
Stepmother (Susan) and Overprotection
Susan is a typical "Rescuer" in the Karpman Drama Triangle. She fusses, controls, speaks for Ellen, and tries to "fix" her, but her anxiety only fuels her stepdaughter's resistance. Her attempts to help often manifest as boundary violations.
The Father
The father figure is absent in the film. He never appears on screen, only mentioned. This symbolizes the emotional absence of Law, structure, and protection in Ellen's life. She seeks this father figure in Dr. Beckham.
3. Dr. Beckham's Therapeutic Approach
Keanu Reeves' character uses unconventional, provocative methods akin to Existential Therapy and Transactional Analysis.
- Refusal to Play Games: He states immediately: “I’m not going to fight you.” He refuses to play the "Alcoholic" game (in the anorexia variant), where the patient says "I can't" and the doctor says "You must." He returns the responsibility to Ellen: to eat or to die is her choice.
- Confronting Reality: He takes patients to the "Rain Room" museum so they can feel life on their skin. This is an attempt to return them to their bodies through sensory experience, showing that the world is worth being in.
4. Luke: Animus and Trickster
Luke is Ellen's mirror, but polarized towards "Life." He is a dancer (connected to physicality) and full of energy despite his injury.
- He acts as a guide (Animus) trying to "ignite" her femininity and thirst for life.
- However, he also demonstrates the danger of dependency. Ellen realizes she cannot recover for him. She must do it for herself.
5. The Metaphor of Art
Ellen is an artist. In the past, her drawings (skeletons, emaciated bodies) inspired someone to commit suicide.
- Creativity as Sublimation: Initially, her art served Thanatos (death).
- Conflict: She blocked her creative flow out of guilt. The path to recovery also lies through giving herself permission to create without destroying herself or others.
6. The Finale: Rock Bottom and Choice
The desert scene (hallucination or dream) is the moment of "hitting rock bottom."
Ellen sees herself dead, sees her withered body. Jung would call this an encounter with the Self through crisis. She kisses her skeleton—accepting her mortality—and in that moment, decides to return to life.
Main Conclusion:
Healing does not come through forced feeding. It comes when a person finds the meaning to endure the pain of existence for the sake of life itself. As Dr. Beckham says: “Stop waiting for life to be easy... You don't have to like yourself, just have the balls to swallow.”
Takeaways for Consultants:
- Systemic Work: The client with the symptom is often the carrier of the entire family's symptom.
- The Importance of "Re-parenting": Sometimes a client needs to be given an experience of regression (a safe space, metaphorical "holding") so they can mature.
- Responsibility: The therapist cannot want recovery more than the client does.
Conclusion:
Ellen had to hit rock bottom and face her own skeleton to understand the value of life. In reality, we don't have to wait for a destructive crisis to start a dialogue with ourselves.
To help you work deeply on personal boundaries, understand your true desires, and break free from destructive scripts, I created the tools of the MriyaRun project.
- "Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" will help you learn to feel and protect your "Self" in a healthy way, without going to extremes.
- Metaphorical Associative Cards (MAC) serve as a gentle tool for communicating with your subconscious, helping to reveal what is hidden in the Shadow.