This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or psychotherapeutic advice. If you are experiencing an acute psychological condition or need professional support, please contact a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or crisis service.
Stress often acts like a neighbor with a hammer drill: technically, it might show up "just for a bit," but for some reason, your nervous system has been living for three months as if renovations are happening directly in your hypothalamus.
We are used to thinking of stress as something very mundane: a deadline, an argument, the news, a lack of money, a child refusing to wear a hat, an adult also refusing to wear a hat, while the body has long just wanted to lie in silence and not be responsible for civilization.
But stress is not just "me being nervous." It is an entire system of reactions involving the body, brain, hormones, memory, emotions, relationships, and internal scripts. While short-term stress can mobilize us, chronic stress gradually turns a person into a highly functional toaster: it still works on the outside, but it's already burnt on the inside.
Stress is not a weakness. It is an ancient survival system that doesn't always read the calendar
The stress response helps us meet threats and demanding situations. A work message and physical danger can produce overlapping signs of tension, but the brain can distinguish their context. Meaning, earlier experience, physical condition and available support all influence the response.
Mobilisation may bring a faster heartbeat and breathing, muscle tension, and changes in attention or digestion. Responses vary: some people lose their appetite; others notice different changes. A single sensation cannot establish hormone levels or the cause of a symptom.
The problem isn't that stress exists. The problem begins when the organism doesn't receive the "okay, you can exhale now" signal. In this case, the survival system operates not as a brief emergency mode, but as a permanent firmware update.
Allostasis describes maintaining stability by adapting to changing demands. It does not mean consciously controlling blood pressure, blood sugar or hormones. Different bodily systems adjust their activity to meet a situation and support recovery afterwards.
If the inner dispatcher keeps ending up with cold coffee and three tabs labelled “how to survive”, the cost deserves attention. Researchers use allostatic load to describe the accumulated physiological cost of repeated adaptation. It is a research concept, not a diagnosis inferred from tiredness or an eye twitch.
Acute and chronic stress: the difference between "I need to focus now" and "I no longer know where I am"
Acute stress is a brief mobilization. For example:
- you slam on the brakes in front of another car;
- you need to make a quick decision;
- a conflict arises where you must defend your boundaries;
- you are speaking in front of an audience, and your body decides the crowd is basically a lion, just wearing a suit.
Brief tension can help us focus, but intense stress can also interfere with attention and decisions. Neural and hormonal mechanisms both contribute, and recovery may take time after the event. Hearing “it is over” does not always bring immediate relief.
Under sustained demands, tension may return before recovery is complete. Cortisol has normal bodily functions and varies across the day; chronic stress does not mean it remains elevated in everyone. Irritability or sleeplessness alone cannot establish a hormonal disorder.
Chronic stress can arise from:
- a prolonged conflict in a relationship;
- working without recovery;
- financial instability;
- caring for sick relatives;
- war, danger, loss, uncertainty;
- trauma experience;
- constant suppression of emotions;
- the internal script of "I must always cope";
- living in a system where resting is perceived as a moral crime.
Persistent stress can affect sleep, well-being and concentration. Brain research describes complex changes, but feeling overloaded does not establish that a particular person’s hippocampus has shrunk. A more useful question is what sustains the demands and what support is available.
Why the "psychological" becomes physical
In the old worldview, the body and the psyche were often separated, as if they were two different apartments: the stomach lives in one, anxiety lives in the other, and they supposedly haven't met.
But reality is more complex. Emotions have a bodily component. Fear changes your breathing. Shame constricts your chest. Anger tenses your jaw and hands. Anxiety can settle in your stomach. Sadness drains your energy.
The brain and internal organs communicate through several pathways, including the autonomic nervous system and hormonal signals. The vagus nerve contributes, but it cannot explain every abdominal sensation. Recurring pain or digestive changes deserve medical assessment rather than only a search for an emotion.
Chronic tension affects sleep, appetite, the immune system, cardiovascular reactions, concentration, memory, and the capacity to sustain intimacy. This is not magic, nor is it "attracting illness with bad thoughts." This is the bodymind: the brain, body, nervous system, hormones, immunity, memory, and relationships don't work separately; they are in a constant dance.
Sometimes this dance looks like an Argentine tango. Sometimes it looks like three people trying to carry a sofa through a narrow hallway while everyone yells "pivot!"
It's important to discuss psychosomatics very carefully. Stress can affect well-being, exacerbate symptoms, deplete resources, and alter behavior and quality of life. But this does not mean a person is to blame for their illness. The psyche should not become a prosecutor.
New, severe or worsening physical symptoms should not be assumed to be stress. Sudden chest pain with breathlessness or fainting needs urgent medical help. For other symptoms, a clinician can help assess causes and appropriate investigations; observing tension can continue alongside that care.
The helpful question is not "what did I do wrong?", but rather:
- "What is my body trying to withstand?"
- "Where have I been living without recovery for a long time?"
- "Which emotions do I not have the space to process?"
- "What support can I add right now?"
- "What in my life has become a chronic burden?"
Stress and emotions: why we sometimes react not to the person, but to the entire accumulated archive
Under strong pressure, it may be harder to hold several perspectives, notice nuance and choose words. This does not mean the logical brain has switched off or that responsibility for actions disappears. A pause and reduced demands can sometimes create more room for choice.
Therefore, under stress, people often:
- reply sharply;
- shut down;
- take offense more intensely than is "logical";
- lose their words;
- start controlling everything around them;
- replay the same scenario in their head;
- snap at loved ones;
- avoid conversations;
- laugh at inappropriate moments;
- buy an organizer because if life can't be controlled, at least the pens will be color-coded.
This does not justify destructive behavior. But understanding it helps shift from shame to responsibility. Not "I am a terrible person," but "my nervous system is overloaded right now, and I need different ways to regulate."
Therapeutic humor: when it's funny not because it's easy, but because it's too hard otherwise
Humor should be used carefully when talking about stress. It shouldn't invalidate pain. It shouldn't say, "oh come on, just laugh and it'll pass." That's not humor; that's putting psychological scotch tape over a crack in the wall.
A well-received joke can create a little distance from an experience while preserving contact. Laughter does not guarantee lower cortisol or pain relief for everyone. What matters is whether the joke makes it easier to discuss the difficulty or asks someone to go quiet again.
For example:
- "My brain has once again opened the night shift at the anxiety cinema."
- "My body decided that the email from accounting is a saber-toothed tiger."
- "I'm not procrastinating; I'm performing an ancient danger-avoidance ritual."
- "I don't need motivation; I need basic nervous system democracy."
These framings do not cancel the problem. But they give the person a little bit of space back. And space is the beginning of regulation.
Story 1. "I'm just tired," or how stress masquerades as personality
Let's imagine Olena. She works, manages the household, helps her parents, answers messages, remembers who has allergies, where the documents are, when the club fees are due, and why there's a philosophically looking zucchini sitting in the fridge. In psychology, this is called the "mental load"—the invisible labor of planning and anticipating, which is just as exhausting as physical work.
Olena says: "I've just become irritable."
But if you look closer, behind the irritability there might be:
- sleep deprivation;
- lack of personal space;
- unexpressed anger;
- fear of failing;
- shame about asking for help;
- the habit of being "convenient";
- chronic overload.
When Olena starts keeping brief notes, she notices: the biggest breakdowns don't happen "out of nowhere," but after days where she stayed silent three times, agreed to something against her own wishes twice, and didn't eat a proper meal once. Here, stress stops being a fog. It becomes a map.
For Elena, the next step could be an ordinary agreement: another family member takes full responsibility for tonight’s dinner, including groceries and cleaning up. She need not remain the dispatcher who “asked for help” while still remembering and checking everything. Writing helps reveal the load; changing how tasks are shared can reduce it.
And this is one of the core principles of MriyaRun: when we structure our internal experience, we regain the power of choice.
Story 2. "I'm not mad," said the man, clenching his jaw like a nutcracker
Anger often frightens people. Especially those who were taught in childhood to be "normal," "calm," "smart," "not to dramatize," and generally not to create an unnecessary psychological landscape for adults.
But anger is not always aggression. Often it is a signal:
- my boundaries are violated;
- something doesn't suit me;
- I'm tired of tolerating this;
- I need changes;
- I feel injustice;
- I want to regain my influence.
When anger is difficult to express, a person may notice tension, sharpness or withdrawal. Clenched jaws and bruxism do not prove suppressed anger: several causes may contribute. Pain, tooth damage or recurring grinding call for dental assessment; emotional reflection can complement that care, not replace it.
This is where you should give words to the internal state. You can start with simple questions:
- "What exactly am I angry about?"
- "Which boundary was violated here?"
- "What do I want to protect?"
- "What am I not allowing myself to say directly?"
- "How can I express this without destroying myself or the other person?"
More on anger and boundaries:
Why we don't always understand our stress
Repeated demands can become so familiar that we stop noticing them. Rather than compare endurance, recall your usual pattern: when did sleep shorten, breaks disappear and recovery become harder? Those changes are more concrete than asking whether you are strong enough.
A person can live for years with background tension and think:
- "Everyone has it like this."
- "I'm just that kind of person."
- "I'll rest later."
- "It's no time to relax."
- "I need to be stronger."
- "If I stop, everything will fall apart."
But sometimes a "strong person" isn't someone who doesn't feel anything. It's someone who has finally noticed that their internal battery isn't charging from self-criticism.
RedLines: a game where stress, emotions, and boundaries can be explored
RedLines: Emotional Detective is a psychological board game by MriyaRun about emotional intelligence, hidden motives, cognitive traps, boundaries, and the very human question: "why am I reacting this way?"
A game can make a difficult conversation easier: players can discuss a character’s choices before connecting them with personal experience. It need not remove psychological defences. Participants may decline to share, skip a question or stop.
Psychological Board Game RedLines: Emotional Detective
You can imagine it as a detective story where the main crime isn't "someone ate the last piece of cake," but "why have I been silent for three days when I actually want to say that I'm hurt."
The game combines:
- an investigation format;
- friendly discussions;
- self-exploration;
- working with emotions;
- noticing cognitive traps;
- practicing personal boundaries;
- the ability to see the hidden motives of characters and your own reactions.
RedLines can prompt discussion of characters’ responses, possible motives and boundaries. Check the product page for the contents of a particular edition; the game does not establish a diagnosis or measure stress levels.
Both circumstances and their appraisal affect stress. Threats, violence and overload do not become neutral through a change of thought. Cognitive reappraisal explores another interpretation where appropriate; real dangers and demands still require a response.
Psychological Board Game RedLines: Emotional Detective
The exact same situation can launch different internal scripts:
- "They don't respect me."
- "I'm going to mess everything up now."
- "They will abandon me."
- "I must be perfect."
- "If I say no, I am a bad person."
- "It's better to stay silent, it's safer."
- "I failed again."
This is exactly where RedLines is useful: it provides a space not just to "talk about emotions," but to investigate the internal logic of the reaction.
For example, in a stressful situation, you can investigate:
- what exactly was the trigger;
- which emotion I noticed first;
- which emotion I hid;
- what thought amplified the tension;
- where my boundary was;
- what I did automatically;
- what alternative behavior is possible;
- what in this situation belongs to me, and what belongs to the other person.
This shifts stress from the "something is wrong with me" mode into the "I can investigate exactly what is happening to me" mode.
Practice: "Stress Detective"
Try a brief note on your own or after a voluntary game discussion. Choose a manageable situation; there is no need to disclose what you are not ready to share.
Take one situation that recently stressed you out. Not your life's biggest trauma. Start with something mundane: a conflict in a chat, a harsh tone, a deadline, a conversation that left a bitter aftertaste inside.
Write down:
- What happened factually? (For example: a colleague typed a message in all caps).
- What did I think in the first few seconds? (He thinks I'm incompetent).
- What emotion did I notice? (Irritation).
- What emotion might I have missed? (Anxiety, fear of getting fired).
- Where did it feel in the body? (Lost my breath, stomach tightened).
- What impulse arose: attack, flee, freeze, fawn, explain, control? (Fawn—I wanted to apologize immediately, even though I didn't make a mistake).
- What was the underlying need behind the reaction? (The need for safety and recognition).
- What boundary do I want to establish? (People should communicate with me without caps lock and accusations).
- What can I do next time 5% differently? (Take a deep breath and reply in 10 minutes, instead of instantly).
This "5% differently" is very important. The psyche doesn't like being told: "Starting Monday, you are a new person." To that, the psyche often replies: "Starting Monday, I'll be in the basement." It is much more realistic to look for tiny changes that can be repeated.
Stress and cognitive traps: when the brain writes a disaster movie script
Under pressure, we may cling to the first explanation and find it harder to check. Quick assumptions can help but may be inaccurate: a delayed reply can seem like proof of rejection before we know what is happening for the other person.
- catastrophizing: "Everything is ruined";
- mind reading: "They definitely think I'm a loser";
- overgeneralization: "It's always like this with me";
- discounting the positive: "That happened by accident";
- black-and-white thinking: "It's either perfect or a complete failure";
- personalization: "It's definitely my fault";
- "should" statements: "I must endure";
- emotional reasoning: "I feel fear, therefore the situation is genuinely dangerous."
These thoughts don't always look like thoughts. They often feel like the absolute truth.
Therefore, during self-reflection, it is helpful to ask:
- "What facts support this?"
- "What facts contradict this?"
- "Is there an alternative explanation?"
- "What would I tell a friend in this situation?"
- "What thought will help me act rather than beat myself up?"
Psychological Board Game RedLines EQ: Emotion Detector
The materials on defense mechanisms and cognitive traps:
Boundaries as an anti-stress system
Clear agreements about availability can reduce recurring uncertainty. If work calls after 7 pm are reserved for agreed exceptions, expectations need not be guessed every evening. The ability to establish that rule depends on work, relationships and safety; an assertive sentence cannot resolve every condition.
Boundaries do not mean "I don't love anyone." Boundaries are the user manual for your life. Without it, other people might unconsciously press all your buttons, including the one that triggers the "I can't take this anymore" siren.
Signs that your stress is related to boundaries:
- you often say yes and then get angry;
- you find it hard to ask for help;
- you feel guilty for saying "no";
- after interacting with certain people, you need two days of silence;
- you explain obvious things for way too long;
- you feel "used" but do nothing to stop it;
- you constantly try to be convenient.
For further reflection on boundaries:
The phrase "I have the right" can be an anti-stress practice in itself:
- I have the right not to reply instantly.
- I have the right not to be convenient.
- I have the right to get tired.
- I have the right to ask for support.
- I have the right not to explain myself until my emotional battery is completely dead.
Stress and childhood experience: handle with care, without a life sentence
Earlier experience may influence what feels threatening and what support we expect. A present-day reaction cannot reconstruct a specific past event. Reflection is more useful when it stays close to what is known rather than turning a hypothesis about childhood into a verdict.
But this does not mean the past has permanently "broken" the future. Thanks to neuroplasticity, our brain is capable of building new neural connections throughout our entire lives.
Early experiences can tune the nervous system to a heightened state of alertness to threats. What once helped you survive can become an automatic reaction in adulthood: freezing, fawning, attacking, fleeing, going numb, controlling everything, or being "perfect."
Self-reflection, therapy, somatic practices, supportive relationships, and structured tools help you gradually notice these reactions and create new ways of responding. This isn't magically rewriting the past. It's reclaiming your present.
Practice: "Three Circles of Stress"
This diagram separates personal actions, shared decisions and circumstances beyond our influence. It does not measure locus of control or guarantee reduced anxiety. Use it to choose one manageable step, not another obligation to control everything.
Draw three circles.
In the first (smallest) circle, write: "I can control."
For example:
- booking a doctor's appointment;
- asking for help;
- going to sleep earlier;
- limiting the news;
- saying, "I'll return to this conversation tomorrow";
- completing one page in a workbook;
- playing RedLines and exploring a reaction through the characters;
- writing down how I feel.
In the second (middle) circle: "I can influence partially."
For example:
- the tone of a conversation;
- my own reaction;
- my daily routine;
- my workload level;
- support;
- the quality of communication;
- the number of pauses I take.
In the third (outer) circle: "I cannot control."
For example:
- what other people think;
- the past;
- global events;
- other people's reactions;
- things that have already happened;
- what another person is not ready to change.
The goal isn't to become a "master of control." The goal is to stop wasting all your mental energy on the third circle and return at least part of your focus to the first one.
How MriyaRun can support a person dealing with stress
Emerging from a state of chronic stress is easier when you have accessible tools nearby. MriyaRun is not a substitute for therapy, medicine, or crisis intervention. It is a space of tools for self-reflection: journals, workbooks, metaphorical associative cards (MAC), game formats, online practices, and articles.
In the context of stress, you can build the following ecosystem:
1. RedLines — for exploring reactions, motives, and boundaries
Who it's for:
- people who want to better understand emotions;
- couples and friends ready for deeper conversations;
- psychologists and group facilitators;
- those who prefer a game format over a dry questionnaire;
- those who want to notice cognitive traps and hidden motives.
2. MAC cards — for images, associations, and a gentle entry into the topic
Link: MAC cards online
MAC (Metaphorical Associative Cards) can help when it's hard to name an emotion with words right away. Sometimes a picture opens a door to a place where logic was standing at the entrance holding an "everything is fine here" sign.
3. Resource cards — for rights, anchors, and finding your voice again
Links:
These decks integrate well into the topic of chronic stress because they help shift the focus from "I must endure" to "I have the right to my needs, boundaries, joy, and support."
4. Workbooks and journals — for structure
Links:
Writing practices are useful because they move the chaos from your head onto paper. And paper, unlike your brain at 3 AM, doesn't add dramatic background music.
Further reading
- Stress, Immunity, and Psychosomatics: How Emotions Affect the Body
- Psychosomatics in Oncology and Stress: MriyaRun Support
- Psychological Trauma: What It Is and How to Heal Internal Wounds
- Trauma and Life Scripts: Why We Repeat Mistakes
- Life Script: How to Rewrite Your Destiny with MriyaRun
- What is Repression? Defense Mechanisms and the RedLines Game
- RedLines EQ: Emotion Detector — A Psychological Board Game
- MAC Cards Online: How to Understand Yourself
Questions for noticing your workload
Mark familiar experiences and consider how long they have been present. This is a discussion aid for yourself or a professional, not a diagnostic test.
- I often wake up already tired.
- It is hard for me to relax without feeling guilty.
- I react more harshly than I want to.
- I hold physical tension that I barely even notice.
- I postpone rest for "later."
- It is hard for me to ask for help.
- I frequently replay conversations in my head.
- I feel like I'm living in waiting mode for the next problem.
- I am functioning, but I experience very little joy.
- My "normal" sounds like it was recorded on the last one percent of battery life.
Choose one item that most affects everyday life. Consider what condition could change and whose help would be needed. If the difficulty persists or worsens, discuss it with a professional.
What you can do today
You don't have to start with a grand life revolution. Start with a tiny step.
Choose one:
- write down the three main sources of your tension;
- name one emotion you felt today;
- take a pause before answering in a difficult conversation;
- say one honest "no";
- ask for one specific piece of help;
- go to sleep 30 minutes earlier;
- play RedLines and explore a single reaction;
- pull a MAC card asking, "What requires my attention right now?";
- write: "I have the right..." and complete the sentence 5 times.
Stress loves to convince us that everything needs to be fixed immediately. Self-reflection reminds us: sometimes it is enough to take back just one tiny piece of influence.
Finale: You are not obliged to be a hero who burns beautifully
There is still a lot of romanticization of exhaustion in our culture. "Work to the limit," "endure," "be strong," "don't fall apart," "pull yourself together." As if a human is not a living system, but an infinite power bank for other people's expectations.
But true maturity is not about feeling no stress. True maturity is noticing: "I tensed up right here. I feel scared right here. I am angry right here. Here is my boundary. I need support right here. Here, I can act differently."
MriyaRun creates tools precisely for this kind of attentive contact with yourself: through writing, cards, play, imagery, questions, and structure.
And RedLines can be a great way not just to "talk about stress," but to see its mechanics in action: the motives, the traps, the emotions, the boundaries, the reactions, and those very red lines that we sometimes only notice when we're already standing behind them holding a sign asking, "how did I get here?"
You can start here: