This material is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or psychotherapeutic advice. If you are experiencing an acute psychological condition or need professional support, please contact a doctor, psychologist, psychotherapist, or crisis service.
"A pessimist complains about the wind. An optimist hopes for a change in the weather. And the realist sets the sails" William Arthur Ward
Optimists are people - lovers of life, who are convinced that everything in life is going for the best. Pessimists, on the contrary, look at everything in life with apprehension and anxiety, perceive all events bleakly and expect trouble. A realist is a person who soberly assesses all the conditions and possibilities of certain life situations. How to become an optimist?
It happens that our perception of this or that situation depends on our mood. Or from a complex of unrelated circumstances.
There is a joke about this: "I am neither an optimist nor a pessimist. I am an alcoholic. In my case, the glass is half whiskey, half Coke." But seriously, in general, each individual has one set of perception, worldview. Most often, a person is either optimistic or pessimistic. Dossier on temperament
Optimism or pessimism? Does everyone have such a need for optimism? And how ineffective is being a pessimist?
The criteria for optimism are:
— good mood, calmness — optimism makes it easier to experience difficult periods in life, losses — optimism helps to find a way out of a difficult situation — optimism helps to increase self-esteem and builds self-confidence — optimism creates strong friendly relations with others.
The illusion of invulnerability
In general, from an optimist's point of view, the Leaning Tower of Pisa does not fall, but rises. And in this expression there is a minus of optimism. Let's call it the illusion of invulnerability. A person who believes that misfortune will pass him by does not take reasonable precautions. Only a stupid person is not afraid of anything. But, you should not transform anxiety into fear, it can harm you. The fears we choose
"An optimist sees an opportunity in every danger, and a pessimist sees a danger in every opportunity"
Principles of balanced pessimism
A hope based on ignorance may last forever, but it surely causes a fall. This is more of a vice than a virtue.
Although pessimism, unlike optimism, is not a lever for developing personal effectiveness, a drop of pessimism can save us from the dangers of unrealistic optimism. For example, self-confident students tend to prepare poorly for upcoming exams. And their more anxious, but optimistic, peers who look to the future are capable of diligence in preparing for the session. And get higher grades, despite self-doubt. About doubts and fear of success
Psychologists have proven that success in life requires optimism in an amount sufficient to sustain hope and pessimism in an amount sufficient to motivate anxiety.
There is also such a phenomenon as defensive weighted pessimism, a behavioral strategy in which a person mentally tries to lose the future situation, taking into account the small obstacles that he may face. Your strategy for dealing with conflict. Test
Defensive balanced pessimism shows results no worse than strategic optimism, which forces a person to carefully avoid thoughts about the bad, and in some respects, a pessimistic mood has an even better effect. This mechanism can still be called the same realism. What is healthy stress?
In order not to turn into a boring pessimist or, on the contrary, a naive optimist, it is necessary to get rid of many of one's habits, prejudices, fears and other obstacles in personal development.
Rules of weighted pessimism - optimism
- First, adopt the principle "Everything that is not done is for the better"
- Stop blaming yourself and fear future failures
- Do not complicate the situation
- Try to rely only on yourself and believe in yourself
- Don't be afraid to make mistakes
- Do not expect a lot from others, the more expectations you have about an event, the higher the probability of devastating disappointment
- Learn to live in the present and enjoy today and what you have
- Always hope for a good outcome of events, but prepare for a bad outcome. As they say: "If you want peace, prepare for war"
- Do not wait for trouble, so you create a negative scenario in your brain and act as if it is a fact that has already happened. An optimist is a person who, being between two troubles, always makes a wish!
What prevents you from being happy?
And smile, more often, even when you're sad. After all, positive emotions are closely interconnected with our physical health, well-being and mood. Have a nice day!
Optimistic and pessimistic expectations vary by domain, experience, state, and resources. Labels hide the forecast's function: preparing for risk, sustaining effort, or protecting against disappointment.
Testing an automatic prediction
Realistic optimism
It acknowledges risk while seeking actions, resources, and support. Denying danger impairs preparation. A pessimistic scenario helps when it produces a plan rather than rumination.
Three questions
What facts support the forecast? What contradicts it? What will I do if the difficult outcome occurs?
Words from Dmytro Telushko
“Hope becomes support when it can meet facts. Risk becomes useful when it turns into preparation rather than a verdict.”
Dmytro Telushko
MriyaRun tool
CBT SHIFT helps test predictions and form a more balanced alternative.
CBT SHIFT
Forecasting style can change
Optimism and pessimism do not divide people into two fixed types. Expectations vary with experience, life domain, fatigue, resources, and uncertainty. A useful forecast makes room for risk and leads to preparation: what facts do I have, what remains unknown, what can I influence, and what will I do if the difficult scenario occurs?