5 Rules of a True Leader

"If you want to be a leader, be one," asserts Nigel Risner, one of only six speakers in Europe to receive the Professional Speaking Award of Excellence. Risner was Speaker of the Year 2001-2010 according to the CEO Academy. The most important thing a true leader gives you is inspiration—to start thinking and acting differently. Here are the rules Nigel Risner lives by.

We are always where we truly want to be, and that is our choice. In other words, live in the present, not in the past. We can’t change the past; it’s already history. You can’t stay in the past dreaming about the future. Notice how often we reference the past, comparing or remembering, whether with sadness or pleasure. It doesn’t matter! It’s the past, and it’s not worth recalling anymore. You need to create the future and enjoy the present. Sadly, many people simply don’t know how to be here and now, how to enjoy and learn from where they are and what they feel at each moment. They come to a lecture and compare it with past experiences, or think about the future, then leave dissatisfied, saying nothing useful came of it. Erase everything from your memory before stepping into the lecture room. Be optimists, learn to experience and rejoice in failures—they are your invaluable experience.

At one of his talks, Nigel invited all participants to volunteer, to actively engage and practice their leadership skills. Interestingly, out of 80 people, only one volunteered at first, and by lunchtime just four. "True leaders are always first," Nigel says. If you claim to be a leader, you must abandon your doubts and stereotypes, no shyness or insecurity. Much of our doubt stems from Soviet-era upbringing, which taught us not to stand out from the crowd but to be like everyone else. Or we keep listening to our inner critic urging us not to do something, warning of imagined failures. But if we truly want to be leaders, we must overcome these weaknesses and take responsibility for events and people.

Whatever the truth may be, it is in the truth that the leader’s strength lies. You must be strong enough to tell your people the harshest truth. Ernest Shackleton was such a leader; during a shipwreck in an Antarctic expedition, he told his team the truth and took responsibility for bringing everyone home safely. "When you lie, you are weak," Nigel says, and immediately runs a practical experiment with participants. It’s amazing how easy it is to expose falsehood and how vulnerable you become. Of course, you can find thousands of excuses, but behind lies is always the fear of rejection, not being accepted, and suppression. It is very important for a leader to remain honest with those who trust them.

People always look for feedback and want their work to be properly recognized. "Why do people go to work?" Nigel asks his audience. Many answers arise: salary, praise, desire to be useful. But you must understand that people go to work to satisfy their personal needs, which are different for each. A leader must know the needs of their people, which will vary case by case. Think about how hard it is for others to reach you and get through. All these bureaucratic and hierarchical systems don’t work today. Only your accessibility and openness will give you a chance to be recognized as a leader, someone people will follow and be willing to take risks for. Be honest with people, but give feedback properly so as not to hurt someone.

A true leader always leads people and manages processes. This is about the inspiration a leader gives by energizing those around them. No matter how difficult the path to the goal, if people feel strength in their leader and trust him, they will follow even through serious danger. We often fear acting because we don’t trust others. What is trust? We naturally trust people until they let us down or betray us. So what stops us? Fear of change. But change is not a problem, it’s a new opportunity. In today’s world, nothing is permanent; everything changes so fast that it's hard to keep up with new trends. "Use opportunities, learn from each other," Nigel says. Maybe there won’t be another chance. Children do not fear losing or making mistakes; they don’t dwell on the past. Adults fear stumbling, and this stops them from being successful here and now. No matter how hard today is, no matter how difficult the path, everyone has the opportunity to be successful and to lead, not to be led. Just see these opportunities and start acting. A true leader always thinks about success and never returns to the past.

Adding to these valuable rules, the MriyaRun platform offers an ecosystem for self-reflection and personal growth to help leaders work on themselves: