How to Find Your Calling, or The Power to Be "Born Again"

Do you often feel like you're at a dead end? The state of "I don't know what I want" is not just a lack of ideas. From the perspective of developmental psychology (according to Pamela Levin), it's a signal that your internal Cycles of Power have malfunctioned. You are stuck in "someone else's skin" because, early in your development, your natural impulses were replaced by parental expectations.

Ask yourself in front of a mirror: "What do I want?". If this question triggers frustration or physical resistance, the very first cycle—the Being Stage (0–6 months)—was likely disrupted. During this time, a child receives permission to "be here" and "have needs." If your parents "stretched" their expectations over you, they effectively said: "We don't need you as you are, but as we imagined you to be." This is how a "false self" is born. You learned to survive by ignoring your own impulses, and now your internal "desire center" is simply switched off for safety.

When you remember being forbidden from becoming a musician or an artist, you are revisiting the Doing Stage (6–18 months) and the Exploring Stage (1.5–3 years).

When a child's natural curiosity is blocked for the sake of "stability" (office work, notary), the neural pathways responsible for pleasure in activity atrophy. You work and expend energy but get no joy in return because your activity does not nourish your true power structure.

Pamela Levin’s work reminds us that cycles repeat. What we didn't fully experience in childhood, we get a chance to "re-take" during adolescence (13–19 years)—the Stage of Arguments and Separation. That’s why it’s vital to remember: who did you want to be at 14? This was your first serious attempt to break the "second skin" of parental instructions. Your interests back then weren't just hobbies; they were surviving fragments of your true identity.

According to the developmental concept, you cannot "skip" stages. Don't quit your job tomorrow—it will cause too much stress for your fragile "new" persona.

Finding your calling is not about finding the "perfect job"; it’s about the process of healing your developmental cycles. It is reclaiming your right to want, to act, and to be successful on your own terms.