The Evolution of the Human Psyche: Cyclical Development, the Right to Anger, and the Healing Power of Permissions
The Architecture of Psychological Growth: From a Linear Paradigm to a Cyclical Model
For many decades, research on human development has traditionally relied on linear models, where growing up was viewed as a strictly sequential, irreversible movement from early childhood to a final, static stage of maturity. However, a profound analysis of the emotional, somatic, and cognitive evolution of the individual reveals a much more complex, multidimensional architecture of the psyche. The fundamental theory of developmental cycles, designed and conceptualized by Pamela Levin in her works, particularly in "Cycles of Power", offers a revolutionary perspective on human nature: human growth is not linear, but distinctly cyclical, consisting of seven fundamental stages. Instead of permanently leaving childhood phases behind as completed material, an individual's psyche functions on the principle of a continuous spiral, where each life phase serves as a platform for resolving specific developmental tasks that periodically return in adulthood. Metaphorically, this process can be compared to the trunk of a mighty tree, where each age stage adds a new concentric ring; if basic emotional needs were not met at a certain stage, psychological "holes" or "knots" form within the structure, disrupting overall integrity and requiring conscious subsequent restoration.
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
In this multi-layered context, there is an acute need to rethink the basic emotions that accompany, and often drive, the developmental process. In the book and practical research of Dmytro Telushko, the process of psychological formation is examined through an unexpected but extraordinarily profound lens—the emotion of anger. Society, educational systems, and family paradigms have historically stigmatized anger, branding it as a destructive force, animalistic aggression, or socially unacceptable behavior that must be suppressed, controlled, or pushed into the subconscious. However, Telushko's phenomenological analysis proves the opposite: anger is a vital instrument, a primal manifesto of life, and powerful evolutionary fuel. It is anger that ensures healthy separation, the establishment of psychological and physical boundaries, the formation of a stable identity, and the individual's ability to act. Anger is pure energy that signals when an individual's needs are ignored; it is a catalyst for necessary change, an evolutionary compass pointing to an imbalance.
To balance this intense energy of separation and expansion, the psyche requires reliable external (and later internal) containment through validation. This is exactly where the invaluable contribution to developmental psychology is made by Jean Illsley Clarke's approach. Co-authoring with other researchers, she developed a comprehensive system of "Developmental Affirmations" detailed in her monumental work, "Words that Help: Affirmations for any age, every stage." Clarke asserts that for a successful, non-traumatic progression through each of Levin's seven developmental stages, an individual desperately needs specific positive messages. These messages form a legal permission to grow, remind individuals of their innate abilities, affirm unconditional support, and remove the toxic guilt associated with natural impulses. The synthesis of Levin's cyclical model, Telushko's profound understanding of anger's vital role, and the supportive, restructuring power of Clarke's affirmations creates an unprecedentedly comprehensive map of emotional literacy. This map unfolds as a single, continuous text of human destiny from conception to deep maturity, allowing us to understand exactly how we are formed, how we break, and, most importantly, how we heal.
Stage One: The Right to Exist and Vital Anger as a Manifesto of Life (Birth to 6 Months)
The first and most critical stage of human life, spanning from birth to six months, is conceptually defined as the Stage of Existence (or the "To Be" stage). The fundamental, existential task of the infant at this stage is to solidify their unconditional right to live and to make a baseline decision to trust the surrounding world. Birth itself is accompanied by colossal physiological and psychological shock: it is a sudden transition from a state of weightlessness, a warm amniotic environment, and absolute symbiotic fusion with the mother into a hostile space governed by ruthless gravity, blinding light, and piercing cold. It is in this very first second of autonomous existence, according to Dmytro Telushko's profound analysis, that the individual's first emotion is born—the authentic anger of the Existence stage. This first vibrating cry, as the lungs open, is not fear in the adult, cognitive sense; it is a total biological mobilization of the organism, an unstoppable impulse for life that manifests: "I am here! I need air! I need warmth!".
During the first months of life, the infant's universe is strictly limited to bodily sensations. Since verbal communication, logic, and self-reflection are completely absent, anger becomes the sole thread connecting the tiny human to salvation and the outside world. When acute pain (e.g., colic) or unbearable hunger occurs, the body reacts in the only available and effective way: the back arches into a tense bow, fists clench tightly, legs kick the air, the face fills with blood, and a so-called "Cry of Distress" erupts from the chest. This state is pure survival instinct, a powerful energy directed straight at destroying the obstacle threatening existence itself. If the child does not get loud enough in their anger, they risk starving or freezing; their anger is an alarm preventing their disappearance.
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
During this critical, plastic period of neural pathway formation, one of two lifelong personality development scripts is established. Consider the first, healthy script using the hypothetical infant Mark, whose story runs through Telushko's research. When Mark's desperate cry is met by his mother Olena's warm hands, she becomes his first safe "container," while his father Andriy creates a protective space around them. The mother does not ignore the child, feeds him on demand rather than a strict schedule, and comforts him when in pain. Under these conditions, the child learns an emotional lesson of colossal weight: his voice matters, his dissatisfaction can change the world for the better, and anger is safe and constructive. Such a child grows into an adult with healthy assertiveness—a calm, unwavering confidence in their rights, knowing their existence is a priori valuable. Conversely, the second script unfolds a tragedy of neglect. If the cry hits a wall of parental indifference, if the child is left to "cry it out" so they don't "get used to being held," or is punished for crying with cold detachment, a terrible conclusion is formed: there is no point in crying, no one will come to help. This lays the foundation for passivity, deep depression, avoidance of intimacy, and the "invisible syndrome." Alternatively, the psyche makes another conclusion: to survive, one must scream loud enough to shatter walls, shaping a character of uncontrollable, destructive rage in adulthood.
For safely navigating this stage (or for therapeutically reprocessing it in adulthood), Jean Illsley Clarke's approach offers key permissions and affirmations that act as a cognitive code rewriting traumatic experiences. Let us examine them in detail in the context of their psychological impact. Specifically, the permission to live (the affirmation "I celebrate that you are alive") acts to neutralize the most destructive internal injunction "Don't exist," giving the individual the feeling that their arrival in the world is a celebration, not a burden or a mistake. Simultaneously, the value of needs is affirmed through the message "Your needs and your safety are important to me", which legalizes physical sensations (hunger, cold, pain) and removes the adult fear of being "too demanding" or inconvenient to others. In contrast, the right to a place ("You have the right to be here and take up your space") heals the "invisible syndrome," allowing an adult to not physically or psychologically shrink in the presence of others, but to boldly assert themselves. Finally, unconditional love ("You do not have to do anything to be loved") severs the dangerous neural link between achievements and personal value, completely destroying the neurotic perfectionism rooted in the fear of rejection.
The therapeutic process of restoring power at this stage in adulthood cannot be limited to intellectual awareness; it requires deep bodily activation, as the trauma was sustained in a pre-verbal period. Dmytro Telushko describes practices that restore the right to anger. Among these is the "Vital Cry" technique, where a person lies in a fetal position, acknowledges a situation of powerlessness, and then begins to arch their back, tense their body, and emit a deep, guttural sound, declaring their presence to the space. Another tool is the "Magic Wand" visualization, where the individual consciously rewrites their script by imagining ideal Parents (archetypal figures) who respond joyfully and warmly to their needs, creating a new neural record of safety.
Telushko also proposes a 28-step "Right to Be" integration marathon that restores basic sensuality and the right to comfort. Comparing different categories of practices in this marathon, several directions emerge. For example, bodily regression (assuming a fetal position under a blanket or being in a warm "cocoon bath") aims to imitate a safe womb state; it lowers cortisol levels, restores baseline trust in the environment, and calms primal anger-anxiety. Meanwhile, activating the sucking reflex (drinking a warm beverage through a straw, slowly sucking a lozenge) works more locally: it relieves deep muscle spasms in the jaws, where unexpressed anger from the Existence stage and the inability to "call for help" are often blocked. The practice of passive acceptance, which involves asking a partner or friend ("Cover me," "Make me tea") and accepting deep hugs without trying to reciprocate, has a different therapeutic goal—curing counter-dependency (the illusion of "I must do everything myself") and granting permission to be vulnerable without fear of abandonment or being accused of weakness. On the other hand, absolute do-nothingness (lying in silence with a timer for 15 minutes, simply staring at the ceiling, allowing oneself to be) aims to dismantle the belief that a person's value is solely determined by their productivity, directly restoring the right to simply exist.
Successfully completing or reprocessing this stage transforms anger from a panic-stricken fear of annihilation into a calm, internal compass that will always prompt: "You cannot treat me this way," granting the person the fundamental right to simply BE.
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
Stage Two: The Energy of Action, Expansion, and Anger as the Motor of Discovery (6 to 18 Months)
When a child reaches about six months of age, their physiological development provokes a radical shift in their life paradigm: the universe drastically expands, marking the transition to the Stage of Doing. The task of this turbulent phase is an evolutionary transition from the passive state of perception "I am" to the active, transformative "I can." The child begins to crawl, grab objects, and later—take their first tentative steps, turning the surrounding world into a massive, uncharted laboratory for relentless exploration. Along with this, anger fundamentally changes its nature and color at this stage. It is no longer a cry of distress and despair; it becomes powerful fuel for cognition, a tool for overcoming gravity and expanding personal boundaries.
The anger energy of the second stage is activated when a child encounters physical obstacles, spatial limitations, or prohibitions from adults. According to Telushko's observations, when a toddler pushes toys, forcefully slaps the bathwater, throws objects on the floor, or smears porridge on the table, they are absolutely not trying to be "bad" or harm those around them. On the contrary, they are conducting serious physical experiments, testing reality's durability and asking: "What happens if I do it exactly like this? How do materials react to my force?". This is the pure, unclouded anger of expansion and creativity. Wise parenting behavior involves creating the safest possible space where the child can freely "destroy" in order to understand how the world works. Returning to our example with Mark: when he wanted to reach a shiny glass vase, and his mother gently moved his hand away, Mark felt a new type of anger—the energy to overcome an obstacle. He pushed his mom and screamed. If parents support the initiative in such situations (for example, father Andriy offers two "yeses" for one "no," redirecting the energy: "You can't have the vase, but we can hit the pillow or throw a ball"), the child learns to use the energy of anger as a motor to achieve goals. They form the ability to not fear mistakes, to withstand frustration, and to see things through to the end.
However, a harmful script unfolds where the prohibition of action dominates. This is the path of "valuable things" and total control. When a child hears a sharp "Don't touch!", "Don't climb!", "Sit still!" in response to every exploratory movement, and is cruelly shamed or punished for accidentally breaking a cup, their natural impulse to explore meets insurmountable resistance. The child draws a painful, traumatic conclusion: "My initiative brings danger. My desire to act destroys my parents' love and relationship with me." In adulthood, such deeply blocked action anger transforms into severe procrastination, chronic apathy, laziness, or physical rigidity. The adult knows what to do and has the resources, but their body feels paralyzed by an invisible fear: an inner voice whispers that it is better to do nothing so as not to make a mistake and be punished.
Jean Illsley Clarke's system provides this stage with powerful, liberating permissions for activity that remove the shackles of fear of taking action, each carrying its own profound psychological significance. Thus, the permission to explore ("You can explore and experiment, and I will support and protect you") grants the fundamental right to make mistakes; it separates the concepts of action and safety, proving one can be active without losing protection. In addition, sensory freedom ("You can use all of your senses when you explore") legalizes the physical pleasure of interacting with the world (taste, touch, smell) and destroys the fear of "getting dirty" or being messy. Meanwhile, the right to repetition ("You can do things as many times as you need to") aims to eliminate perfectionism and the demand to "do everything perfectly the first time," highly encouraging persistence. Compared to the unconditional love of the first stage, unconditional acceptance in the second ("I love you when you are active and when you are quiet") eliminates conditional love that relies solely on achievements or, conversely, on "convenient" hyper-obedience.
To unblock the energy at this stage in adulthood, intellectual conversations alone are insufficient. Telushko recommends practices that return the taste for life to the body and break the paralysis of the will. The central technique is "Constructive Havoc": intensive running in place with high knees, hitting a pillow not with malice but with enthusiasm, or swinging arms ("windmill") to physically release the blocked impulse of movement and feel the heat in the muscles. A "Sensory Renaissance" is also suggested—saturating the psyche through touch, smells, and tastes (chewing solid food, consciously inhaling aromas, touching various textures), as the power to act is based on sensory saturation. A key therapeutic metaphor becomes the "Therapeutic Walk" with a safe other, which proves on a cellular level: you can step away from an attachment figure, explore the world without a specific goal, and still return to a safe harbor where you are awaited with love. Blocking anger at this stage means paralyzing the ability to act; returning it means once again becoming the creator of your own destiny.
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
Stage Three: Separation of Thinking, the Crisis of Autonomy, and Anger as a Psychological Boundary (18 Months to 3 Years)
Between the ages of one and a half and three years, the personality enters the loudest, most emotionally charged phase of its early formation—the Stage of Thinking. This time, often known in popular psychology as the "terrible twos," is a critical period of differentiation and psychological separation, when the understanding of the concept "I am not You," the boundary between "I" and "We," is finally formed. Accordingly, anger at this stage evolves again, taking on a new, critically important function: it becomes a high-precision tool for differentiation, a manifesto of one's own position, and a means of establishing rigid boundaries. The main, sacred weapon of the child at this stage becomes the short but all-encompassing word "No."
At this age, the child begins to consciously test reality, bumping against limitations set by other people. Their anger changes visually: they no longer just cry, they clench their fists, tightly press their lips together, and consciously try to act in defiance of adults, throwing spectacular tantrums. As Telushko notes, this is not just a "bad temper" or senseless stubbornness; it is the beginning of the formation of logical thinking and the understanding of cause-and-effect relationships. The child conducts a sort of crash test of the world: "What happens if I categorically refuse? Can you really force me? Where does my power end and yours begin?". Anger is necessary for the child to powerfully push off from the fusion with the parental figure and feel their own contours. If the adult environment treats this rebellion with respect—not engaging in an exhausting power struggle, not breaking the will, but calmly explaining cause-and-effect relationships (e.g., father Andriy explains to Mark why he cannot fight over a toy without humiliating his dignity)—the individual learns the golden rule of psychological health: thinking differently is safe. Such a child develops into a resilient adult capable of critical thinking, withstanding crowd pressure, defending their beliefs, and using anger as a precise, non-aggressive signal that their sovereign boundaries have been violated.
In contrast, the destructive "War for Obedience" script is triggered when parents perceive every "no" from the child as a personal insult and a threat to their authority. They shame the child for their negativism, demand absolute obedience and neatness, and apply unbearable psychological pressure. Under such conditions, the child makes a tragic decision: having one's own position and thinking independently is deadly dangerous because it leads to the loss of protection. In adulthood, this blocked separation anger leads a person to chronically fear making decisions, dissolve completely in partners or management, become overly "convenient" (unable to refuse without devastating guilt), or develop powerful passive-aggressive sabotage (e.g., uncontrollably spending money, being late, breaking agreements) to somehow prove their independence through the back door.
Clarke's affirmations for the thinking stage are a granite foundation for the development of cognitive autonomy and the legalization of the right to separateness. Viewing them comparatively, we see that the permission for cognitive autonomy ("I'm glad you are starting to think for yourself") confirms that individual thoughts are not a betrayal of the family or group, and encourages the development of personal logic. While this permission focuses on thoughts, the legalization of anger and safety ("It's OK for you to be angry and I won't let you hurt yourself or others") focuses on emotions and behavior: it clearly separates the emotion (anger) from the action (violence), making it clear that anger is acceptable, but destructive behavior has limits, creating a sense of safety. To protect one's boundaries, the right to resist ("You can say no and push and test limits as much as you need to") is necessary, allowing one to withstand others' dissatisfaction without despair and teaching that refusal is an instrument for building a boundary, not an act of aggression. And so this resistance does not cause panic, the permission to differ ("You can become separate from me, and I will continue to love you") removes the catastrophic fear of loneliness when defending one's own opinion.
Recovery practices for this stage, according to Telushko, aim to legalize the "dirty," rebellious, and strong "I". Exercises such as "Mutual Resistance" (where a person forcefully presses their palms into a wall or a partner's palms) restore the lost physical sensation of one's own contours and boundaries, proving that pressure can be applied without breaking the connection with the other. Furthermore, mental structuring becomes a key skill: the individual learns to rigidly separate objective facts, their own emotions (anger, fear), and cognitive evaluations ("What do I think about this?"), escaping from magical thinking where fear or anger are equated with a real catastrophe. Transforming manipulative hints into direct speech ("I need...", instead of sighing and expecting telepathy) becomes a powerful act of reclaiming the power to think and decide independently while remaining in harmonious contact with the world.
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
Stage Four: Identity, Power, and Anger as an Instrument of Social Influence (3 to 6 Years)
Between the ages of three and six, the psyche makes another quantum leap, transitioning to the Stage of Identity and Power. While previous stages involved a struggle for physical action and basic cognitive autonomy, the child now casts a wider gaze, actively beginning to explore social power, gender roles, and the consequences of their behavior in a micro-society. The existential question evolves from the simple "Who am I?" to the multidimensional "What am I like, how do others see me, and what power do I have over this world?". This is the age of constant "why" questions, role-playing, trying on superhero personas, and creating imaginary friends.
Anger at this stage becomes an extremely refined tool for testing social reality. It gradually shifts from the purely physical plane into the verbal and symbolic: a child might use hurtful words, theatrically raise a hand (but not strike), stage boycotts, or refuse to speak, conducting complex social experiments. The goal of these experiments is to test how far their power extends and whether adult authorities can withstand their psychological pressure without crumbling and turning into monsters in response. Telushko metaphorically calls the anger of this stage a "social scepter," which helps declare one's ambitions and define one's status in the group. If the child's power is met with the stability of adults who do not engage in petty disputes about "who is in charge here," do not abuse their limitless power, but also do not allow rules to be broken (ensuring fair consequences for actions), the child learns to ecologically combine power with empathy. The individual learns a key lesson: "My power is not a weapon of mass destruction, but a part of my identity. I can be powerful, ambitious, and at the same time remain in warm contact with people."
The trauma of identity and power arises when a child's natural display of strength is cruelly shamed. If adults mock a child's fantasies ("What nonsense have you invented?"), tease the child, or harshly suppress any attempts to show leadership by declaring them "indecent" behavior, the child becomes lost. They do not receive legal permission for power. As a result of blocking direct, open power, the individual does not give up power (which is biologically impossible) but goes into the "social underground," replacing healthy competition with toxic manipulations. An adult with such trauma uses "shadow power": they begin to fall ill frequently to control loved ones through guilt, weave intrigues, spread gossip, always play the role of the eternal victim, or use silence as a weapon, trying to force others to do what they want while avoiding direct responsibility for their desires.
To heal identity traumas and bring power out of the shadows and into the light, Jean Illsley Clarke developed specific permissions that target the very core of social fear. Comparing their effects, accepting identity ("I love who you are") eliminates the need to wear social masks (to be "convenient," "cool," or "sick") in order to receive love, firmly asserting the core of the personality. Expanding this core, the permission for roles ("You can explore who you are and find out who other people are") legalizes social experiments, changing one's image, profession, or hobbies without feeling ashamed for inconsistency. At the same time, role freedom is balanced by responsibility ("You can find out the results of your behavior"), which forms an internal locus of control: understanding that actions have logical consequences in society, which is the foundation of adult responsibility. Finally, the synthesis of strength and vulnerability ("You can be powerful and ask for help at the same time") shatters the dangerous stereotype that strength means isolation and loneliness, successfully curing the "I'll do it all myself because otherwise I am weak" syndrome.
To integrate this social energy in adulthood, Telushko offers powerful tools. Since anger here is verbal, the "Paper Volcano" technique is effective—writing "letters of anger" without any censorship, using the worst words to vent poison onto paper without poisoning real relationships (the letter is then symbolically burned). The "Exorcism" technique helps separate one's destructive behavior (e.g., the manipulative inner "Demon of the Victim" or "Hysteric") from one's true essence, recognizing that this pattern was only trying to protect a vulnerable child via a crooked path. Furthermore, conscious "Social Power Testing" is absolutely necessary—participating in debates, board games, or sports. In these spaces, aggression and the thirst for power are ecologically packaged within clear rules of the game, allowing the individual to experience the thirst for victory or the pain of defeat, shake the opponent's hand, and verify: the world is not destroyed by your strength, and losing does not make you worthless.
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
Stage Five: Mastery, Structure, and the Anger of Intellectual Disagreement (6 to 12 Years)
Entering school age (from 6 to 12 years) marks the beginning of the Stage of Structure and Mastery. The child steps out of the family's total care into a broader, demanding society and asks the world new, ambitious questions: "How does everything work here?" and, most importantly, "Can I do it my way, better than you?". The main psychological focus irrevocably shifts to competence, acquiring complex skills, understanding social rules, and creating one's own individual value system.
Anger at this stage becomes a refined energy of intellectual separation and disagreement with rules for the sake of improving them. It is a kind of scalpel for cutting the psychological umbilical cord in the realm of ideas and methods. When a schoolchild discards the instructions and says, "Your method is outdated, I found a better one and will do it differently," this is not a manifestation of rudeness or disrespect, but a clear sign of the awakening of critical thinking and the formation of a Master's position. If the environment (parents, teachers) possesses the wisdom to allow the child to doubt, test the structure's strength, debate, and even reinvent the wheel (even if it rides crookedly), the child learns a critical lesson: "I have the right to my own opinion and the right to make mistakes. My competence is real." This experience shapes a confident adult, a professional who is not afraid to propose bold innovations, take responsibility for projects, and uses anger as healthy, constructive energy to protect their ideas from ossified bureaucracy.
However, the trauma of obedience lies in wait here. It arises when any initiative to do something one's own way is rigidly suppressed with the ironclad argument: "Do it as it is written, because I said so." The child's anger, directed at an outdated rule, is declared "bad manners" or impudence, which literally kills their belief in their own competence. An adult carrying this burden often becomes a perfect but uninitiative executor, terrified of stepping outside their job description, or turns into a "perpetual student" who endlessly collects diplomas but dares not take action. Their anger turns into toxic internal self-sabotage: they feel chronic rage at management or circumstances but cannot directly say "No" or propose their path because deep inside they believe that their own method is a priori wrong and deserves punishment.
Clarke's affirmations for developing mastery emphasize the individual's inherent right to their own pace, method, and intuition, forming a comprehensive support system. Thus, the right to make mistakes ("You can think before you say yes or no and learn from your mistakes") decriminalizes mistakes, transforming them from a "catastrophe" into a necessary stage of learning, protecting against the paralysis of perfectionism. Alongside this, trust in oneself ("You can trust your intuition to help you decide what to do") returns the locus of control inward, significantly reducing dependence on authorities, gurus, or "correct" instructions. For successful adaptation in society, social rules ("You can learn the rules that help you live with others") are also necessary, as this affirmation teaches one to distinguish between toxic restrictions and necessary social norms of coexistence, shaping the flexibility of a Master. And in the event of conflicting interests, unconditional love in conflict ("I love you even when we differ; I love growing with you") proves that intellectual conflict and love can coexist, and arguing does not lead to rejection.
Adult therapeutic work with this stage focuses on restoring the right to disagree. Telushko advises legalizing the argument through the "Devil's Advocate" technique—consciously engaging in intellectual debates (even mentally or by writing critical comments) simply to feel your spine straighten when you say: "I disagree, I have a different opinion." A profound practice is "Values Inventory," where the individual lists outdated parental attitudes (e.g., "You must work hard to earn rest") and consciously crosses them out, creating their own rules. A key stage of healing is stepping out into society—finding a "Peer Group." The Power of Mastery is honed only against other masters. Participating in professional clubs or hobby communities where your competence is discussed and recognized by equals, rather than by manager-"parents," is the most effective cure for imposter syndrome.
Stage Six: Regeneration, Sexuality, and the Anger of Final Separation (13 to 18 Years)
The period from 13 to 18 years, widely known as adolescence, is conceptually designated by Levin as the Stage of Regeneration or Integration. This is a turbulent time when all previously learned lessons, acquired skills, and conflicts undergo a final, examination-by-fire from hormones and new social challenges. The teenager learns to be a fully-fledged adult, which means not only demanding rights but also integrating their newly acquired sexuality and taking full, uncompromising responsibility for their actions, feelings, and life choices.
At this stage, anger becomes a calculated, sharp, and purposeful sword of separation. Its main mission is to finally destroy the childhood vertical hierarchy of "Parents – Child" and build upon its ruins an egalitarian horizontal model of "Adult – Adult." This anger protects new, highly vulnerable boundaries: personal space, bodily autonomy, romantic relationships, and professional goals. When a teenager declares, "This is my life, my schedule, and my body, and I decide for myself," they are not so much attacking their parents as using the energy of anger to forge their own autonomous destiny. According to Telushko, if the family practices an "Open Door Wisdom" script—acknowledging the teenager's adulthood, respecting their philosophy, supporting a healthy attitude toward their sexuality, yet remaining a reliable emotional base ("You can leave, but you can always come home for support")—a whole personality is formed, becoming the true author of their story.
In contrast, the "closed doors" trauma unfolds where parents, driven by a fear of losing control, begin to rigidly restrict freedom, devalue the teenager's choices, or shame them for physiological changes and new romantic impulses. Such toxic pressure turns the healthy anger of separation into a destructive force or drives it inward, provoking deep depression and self-harm. An adult who has failed to successfully navigate regeneration often becomes an "eternal child" (puer aeternus), terrified of taking responsibility for their life, or continues to wage an endless, exhausting war with parental figures (projected onto management or partners) inside their head, staging destructive teenage rebellions at the age of 40.
To successfully navigate this existential crisis, Jean Illsley Clarke created profound affirmations of separation and sexual identity that help one let go of childhood without guilt and work in close synergy. The foundational affirmation regards sexuality and boundaries ("You can learn the difference between sex and nurturing and be responsible for your needs, feelings, and behavior"), which saves one from seeking parental love through sex, shaping an awareness of one's own body and respect for another's consent. This is complemented by separation with love ("You can become separate from me, and I will continue to love you"), which removes the guilt of pulling away from parents and proves that physical or emotional distance does not destroy love. Moving to the social sphere, one's social place ("You can take your place in the adult world and be successful") blesses ambitions, legalizing the right to compete with adults and create one's own material wealth. And the final consolidation of the new status is the recognition of maturity ("I look forward to knowing you as an adult"), which permanently shifts relationships from a vertical of subordination to a horizontal of respect.
The practical approach to integrating the regeneration stage in adulthood requires decisive symbolic actions. Telushko emphasizes the importance of "Grounding Hormones" and excess energy through intense physical sports or deep bodily pressure (e.g., heavy blankets or tight hugs) to channel emotional storms and anxiety without destroying oneself. The most important mental step is the "Ritual of Rupture"—writing a Declaration of Independence (a letter of rebellion), where a person consciously and angrily writes down everything they disagree with in their parental philosophy to make room for their own meanings. The "Stereotype Dump" practice allows one to rewrite toxic gender or social scripts (for example, changing the attitude "a real woman must endure" to "my needs and comfort are a priority"). The final chord is tuning the "Social Radar"—the conscious search for one's new "pack," that is, people who see, validate, and support the individual's new, adult identity, rather than trying to squeeze them into a convenient template from the past.
The Seventh Stage according to Pamela Levin: Interdependence, Recycling, and Adult Integration
One of the greatest conceptual breakthroughs of Pamela Levin's model is the assertion that human psychological development does not end or freeze at the age of 18. Instead, having overcome the teenage crisis, the personality enters the grandiose Seventh Stage—the Stage of Recycling, which encompasses all subsequent adult life (from 19 years onward). This stage is accompanied by a transition from rigid, defensive independence to flexible interdependence and deep integration of life experience. The main paradigm of this stage is that adults, facing new life challenges, naturally and regularly return to the themes, symptoms, and tasks of all six previous stages.
Levin's theory explains this through the metaphor of "spirals within spirals." Significant life events act as powerful triggers that launch a re-experiencing of earlier stages. For example:
- Stress from losing a job, a serious illness, or moving to a new country often throws a person back to Stage 1 (Existence), provoking primal anxiety for survival, a need for unconditional support, and a sense of security ("Do I have the right to be here?").
- The birth of a first child or marriage forces partners to recycle Stage 3 (Thinking/Boundaries) and Stage 6 (Sexuality/Separation), as they have to relearn how to say "No," protect their space, and redistribute power.
- Transitioning to a new leadership position activates Stage 5 (Mastery/Structure), raising fears of incompetence and imposter syndrome.
Anger in adulthood at this seventh stage acquires an entirely new, specific meta-meaning. It becomes a sensitive psychological compass indicating that the individual is currently "recycling" a certain unresolved conflict from the past. If you feel irrational rage, disproportionate to the scale of the event, at a manager over a minor remark, it is most likely not anger at the specific boss, but un-recycled Stage 3 anger fighting for autonomy, or Stage 5 anger demanding recognition of your mastery. Recycling is not regression or pathology; it is an evolutionary gift of the psyche. It allows adults to consciously return to their traumas, patch up "holes" in their psychological foundation, untie old knots, and rewrite life scripts from the standpoint of adult maturity and possessing their own resources.
Adults passing through the crucible of these crises need permission to be imperfect, to balance their needs with societal obligations, and to abandon the illusion that they must control everything. In this context, Clarke's affirmations for the Seventh Stage interact as follows: uniqueness and respect ("You can be uniquely yourself and honor the uniqueness of others") removes projections and allows one to see real people instead of parental figures, fostering healthy interdependence. Simultaneously, trust in wisdom ("You can trust your inner wisdom") affirms the ultimate transfer of authority inside oneself and the recognition of one's own life experience as the highest guide. To prevent falling into extremes, the affirmation of role balance ("You can be independent and interdependent") cures both excessive reliance on partners and counter-dependent isolation, creating flexibility in relationships. Finally, completing cycles ("You can finish each part of your journey and look forward to the next") provides the vital permission to let go of the past (jobs, relationships, beliefs) without regret, removing the fear of aging or change.
Ultimately, approaching the finale of the life cycle—the Integration stage (which is sometimes distinguished as Stage 8, or the late phase of Stage 7 focusing on preparation for death), the personality leans on Clarke's deepest, existential permissions. These affirmations sum up the entire journey: "You can grow your whole life through" , "You can integrate all of your life experiences and die when you are ready" , and the most paramount, all-encompassing truth—"You are lovable at every age."
"Anger" Journal/Workbook
Conclusion: Anger and the Word as the Two Wings of Psychological Wholeness
A deep analysis of the architecture of human development through the synergistic combination of Levin's cyclical theories, Telushko's emotional phenomenology of anger, and verbal reprogramming via Clarke's affirmations reveals the incredible beauty and complexity of mental processes. Perceiving development solely as a biological sequence or linear accumulation of knowledge fatally impoverishes our understanding of exactly how an autonomous, living personality is formed. The cyclical model reminds us of a fundamental truth: development never stops. An adult is a complex, multi-layered conglomerate of all their previous "selves," which are continuously actualized, interact with reality, and require constant renewal through the Recycling process.
In this endless process of transformation, anger acts not as a destructive anomaly to be hidden, but as a high-precision navigational instrument of the psyche. From an infant's first vital cry demanding air, to the energetic stomping of a two-year-old defending their boundaries, to the intellectual resistance of a master protecting their paradigm, and, finally, to the mature indignation of an adult defending their values—anger remains the truest, most ancient guardian of individuality. Like a flare, it indicates exactly where life space is being encroached upon and provides powerful, fiery energy for expansion and the restoration of justice.
However, fiery energy on its own requires form, shores, and direction; otherwise, it turns into a devastating conflagration. If anger is the flame that melts the old, tight constructs of the ego, then Jean Illsley Clarke's affirmations and permissions are the jeweler's matrix that casts this molten metal into a new, strong, and flexible core of personality. Words of approval and permission at different life stages act as powerful cognitive antidotes against toxic shame, learned helplessness, and paralyzing fear. They ensure that the power of separation does not lead to fatal social isolation, but harmoniously transforms into healthy interdependence and respect for both oneself and others.
Thus, full psychological maturation and true emotional literacy constitute a lifelong, filigree dance between the courage to accept and feel one's anger as an expression of power, and the wisdom to lean on verbal permissions for life and love. Only their synthesis allows a personality not just to survive, but to continuously, consciously, and creatively renew itself on each new, ever-higher turn of the spiral of life.
Insight: Why Your Anger is Your Greatest Evolutionary Resource
For decades, society has taught us to stigmatize our own anger, labeling it a destructive emotion to be hidden or controlled. However, the phenomenology of development proves exactly the opposite: anger is not an anomaly, but your pure life energy and most accurate internal compass.
From an infant's first cry demanding the right to exist, to a teenager's "social scepter" and an adult's intellectual rebellion, anger always acts as your faithful protector. It is the first to signal when your boundaries are violated or needs are ignored. Instead of driving this energy into the "social underground," where it turns into apathy, procrastination, or toxic manipulation, it should be recognized as your primary tool for healthy separation and building a resilient identity.
Insight from the MriyaRun Philosophy: The Architecture of Self-Healing
Human development never stops—it moves in a continuous spiral. We periodically return to old crises to rebuild ourselves at a new level. And for the fiery energy of anger not to turn into a destructive blaze, it needs the right "shores."
True emotional literacy and self-therapy are a filigree dance: you give yourself the full, legal right to feel rage as a manifestation of your own power, but at the same time, you lean on supportive permissions and affirmations. These very words remove toxic guilt, rewrite old psychological traumas, and remind you: you have the right to be, to act, to think differently, and you deserve love at every stage of your life.
Explore your emotional compass and reclaim your right to your own power at the link: "Anger" Journal/Workbook