Emotional Software: Why We Laugh When Scared and Why Your Brain Needs "MriyaRun"
Imagine you just bought a cutting-edge computer — that’s your brain. It comes with factory-installed software you can’t delete (bios). It has weird apps your parents installed while you were asleep as a child. And then there are viruses eating up your RAM.
Let's figure out what's happening on your "hard drive," based on science from Paul Ekman to Eric Berne, and see which tools from MriyaRun can help organize the chaos.
1. Factory Settings: The Survival Pack
Scientists Paul Ekman and Carroll Izard proved that we are born with a pre-installed set of emotions. This isn't poetry; it's biological survival logic.
Cavemen didn't need "existential angst." They needed to survive. That’s why Basic Emotions work fast, like a reflex:
- Fear: "Whoa, a tiger! RUN!" (Blood drains from the face to the legs for speed) .
- Anger: "This guy is stealing my food! FIGHT!" (Adrenaline surge for combat) .
- Disgust: "This meat smells like death. YUCK!" (Stomach clenches to prevent poisoning) .
Fun Fact: Even Contempt (looking down on someone) is a universal emotion, recognized equally in New York and the tribes of New Guinea.
2. The Great Switch: Authentic vs. Racket Feelings
Here is where it gets interesting. Transactional Analysis uses the concept of "Racket Feelings". This is when you feel not what is actually happening, but what was "permitted" in your childhood.
How does it work?
A boy falls and hurts himself (Authentic Fear/Sadness). But Dad says, "Men don't cry!" The boy swallows his tears and learns to get angry instead. Twenty years later, when this man is sad, he doesn't cry; he smashes furniture or yells at employees. He swapped Sadness for Anger.
Conversely, a girl was forbidden to show anger ("Be a lady!"). When she is mistreated, instead of fighting back (Authentic Anger), she cries. She swapped Anger for Sadness.
The "Stamp Collecting" Metaphor
Eric Berne described a brilliant mechanism: people often don't express emotions immediately but collect them like trading stamps in a booklet.
- Cut off in traffic — one anger stamp.
- Rude cashier — two stamps.
- Partner didn't do the dishes — stamp.
When the booklet is full, the person goes to the "redemption center" for a prize: a massive scandal, a drinking binge, or a divorce.
3. System Error: Toxic Emotions
The most dangerous "virus" is Toxic Shame.
- Healthy Guilt: "I made a mistake" (need to fix it).
- Toxic Shame: "I am a mistake" (need to disappear).
This is a "freeze" state where a person feels fundamentally defective. There is also Toxic Positivity (Joy Racket) — forcing a smile while denying real pain, which only blocks problem-solving.
4. Advanced Mode: Complex Emotions
The adult brain mixes basic emotions like a bartender mixes cocktails.
Колесо емоцій Плутчика та класифікація почуттів" / "Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions diagram
- Nostalgia: A bittersweet mix of Joy (it was great) and Sadness (it's gone). It’s actually a powerful resource for the psyche.
- Jealousy: An explosive cocktail of Fear (of loss), Anger (at betrayal), and Sadness.
- Resentment: "Calcified" anger. You felt it, suppressed it, and now it sits like a stone in your soul.
5. System Upgrade: The MriyaRun Solution
Knowing the theory is useful, but as neurobiologists say, "understanding the problem doesn't change the neural pathways." You need practice. The MriyaRun project was created specifically to turn this knowledge into skills.
Here is how MriyaRun tools help "fix" your emotional software:
- Catch the "Racket" and Stop Collecting Stamps. By working with the "Diary of Emotions", you learn to spot the switch. “I am shouting right now (Anger), but actually, I am terrified that I won't finish the project on time (Fear).” Once written down, the emotion loses its viral power and becomes a task to solve.
- Build Boundaries Instead of Toxic Guilt. The "Diary of the Mistress of Her Boundaries" workbook helps separate real responsibility from the imposed kind. You learn to say "No" without that toxic guilt that destroys you from the inside.
- Navigate Complex Emotions. When words fail to describe a state (e.g., a mix of nostalgia, resentment, and hope), the "My Myth" metaphorical associative cards (MAC) come to the rescue. The images speak directly to the subconscious, bypassing logical defenses, helping you find that "authentic" answer.
Bottom line: We cannot forbid emotions from appearing — that’s the factory firmware. But we can learn not to "freeze" or "glitch." Stop collecting stamps for a scandal — write them down in your diary instead and run towards your Dream (Mriya).
Bonus: The "5 Minutes for EQ" Checklist
For your emotional intelligence to stay sharp, it needs a daily workout. Here are 5 simple exercises that take only a few minutes but will change the quality of your life.
✅ 1. "Name It to Tame It" (Morning/Day)
As soon as you feel a mood shift, stop and name the emotion. Not "I feel bad," but "I feel anxiety" or "I feel irritation."
Tool: Record this state in the free Web Diary. It takes 30 seconds but immediately lowers the intensity of the feeling.
✅ 2. "Body Scan" (Day)
Emotions live in the body. Anger heats the hands; fear chills the stomach. During the day, ask yourself: "Where is the tension in my body right now?" Relax your jaw, drop your shoulders.
✅ 3. "Reality Check" (During Conflict)
If you are overwhelmed by a strong reaction, ask yourself: "Is this an authentic feeling or an old 'stamp'?". Am I reacting to this situation or to the past?
Tip: To better distinguish these nuances, read our Publications & Blog, where we break down psychological mechanisms.
✅ 4. "Image of the State" (Evening)
Sometimes words are not enough. If the day was difficult, try not to describe it, but to see an image. What picture reflects your state?
Tool: Draw a "Card of the Day" in the Web MAC Cards section. This helps bypass logic and hear your subconscious.
✅ 5. "Evening Download" (Before Sleep)
Don't go to bed with "open tabs" in your head. Write down 3 things you are grateful for, or 1 emotion you lived through and let go of today.
Deep Work: For regular practice, visit our Catalog and choose a paper workbook or diary that feels good to hold.
Start your journey to yourself right now on the MriyaRun Home Page!
