Why is narcissism the opposite of self-love? A psychological analysis of the Narcissus myth, exploring the False Self, the Shadow, and depression.
The Tragedy of Losing the "Self": A Psychological Analysis of the Legend of Narcissus
We are accustomed to believing that narcissism is excessive self-love. However, the text you provided reveals a completely different, much more tragic perspective: narcissism is the inability to love one's true self.
Let's examine the legend step by step, based on the text from the book, and analyze what actually happens in the soul of a person with narcissistic traits.
Episode 1: The Trap of Reflection
Excerpt from the legend:
"Narcissus looked lovingly at his reflection in the water... However, both the nymph's [Echo's] calls and the reflection deceived the youth: looking at himself in the water, he saw only the perfect and beautiful part of himself. The other side, for example, his back and shadow, remained hidden from him; they were not visible in the reflection, as if they had fallen out of the general image."
Psychologist's Commentary:
Here lies the root of the problem. Water (the mirror) shows only a flat image, a facade.
- "Back and shadow" is a metaphor for those parts of our personality that we do not want to see or are unaware of. In Jungian psychology, the "Shadow" represents repressed qualities, flaws, and "ugly" emotions.
- Narcissus falls in love not with his whole self, but with an idealized image. He ignores reality, where not only beauty exists, but also darker sides. This is the trap of selective perception: "I love myself only when I am perfect."
Episode 2: From Grandeur to Depression
Excerpt from the legend:
"This stage of self-admiration can quite possibly be compared to a desire for grandeur, and the next stage—an all-consuming longing for oneself—to depression... Narcissus wanted to be an exceptionally beautiful youth and completely denied his true Self; he wanted to merge with the beautiful picture."
Psychologist's Commentary:
The author brilliantly connects the two poles of narcissism: grandiosity and depression.
- Grandiosity: This is an attempt to "merge with the picture." The person tries to convince themselves and others that they are indeed that flawless ideal.
- Depression: It arrives inevitably because a living human cannot be a picture. A picture is static, while life is dynamic. The longing mentioned here is a longing for one's True Self, which was sacrificed for the sake of a beautiful facade (the False Self).
Episode 3: Death as a Logical Consequence
Excerpt from the legend:
"This led to self-renunciation, to death, and in Ovid's poem—to transformation into a flower. This death is a logical consequence of clinging to the false Self."
Psychologist's Commentary:
Death in the myth is a metaphor for spiritual or psychological death. When a person clings to the "False Self" (the mask of success, beauty, flawlessness), they kill everything alive within themselves. A flower is beautiful, but it has no consciousness; it is merely an object for contemplation. Narcissus turned into an object, losing his subjectivity (agency).
Episode 4: The Price of "Perfection" and Repressed Emotions
Excerpt from the text:
"For not only 'beautiful', 'kind', and pleasant feelings give us vital strength... but also those that seem inconvenient, inappropriate to us, from which we would gladly flee: feelings of helplessness, shame, envy, jealousy, confusion, anger, sadness."
Psychologist's Commentary:
Here the author explains exactly what was in that "Shadow" that Narcissus did not see in the water.
- The narcissistic personality structure cannot withstand shame, helplessness, or envy. These feelings are rejected because they do not fit into the "ideal image."
- But the paradox is that by rejecting "bad" emotions, we lose vital strength. Life becomes flat and artificial. Psychotherapy, as noted in the text, is needed precisely to legalize these emotions—to reclaim the right to be imperfect, yet alive.
Conclusion: Why Doesn't Narcissus Love Himself?
Final Chord (from the text):
"Admiration for one's own false Self makes impossible not only love for others but, evidently, love for that one person who depends entirely on you—we are talking about love for oneself."
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