Why do we lie at work? How psychological safety and personal boundaries impact success. A practical guide to restoring trust and self-reflection tools from MriyaRun.
The Trust Algorithm: Why Boundaries Are More Important Than "Open Doors" & How to Restore Honesty
Trust in the workplace is often perceived as something abstract—a "soft skill" or just a nice bonus. But the truth is, trust is hard currency. Without it, productivity drops, motivation vanishes, and top talent leaves.
In this comprehensive guide, we will analyze why lying at work is not a character flaw but a survival mechanism, and how to build a system where honesty is the norm using psychological tools, journals, and proper communication.
Part 1. The Ecology of Deception: Why Do We Lie?
We are used to thinking that lying is a moral failing. However, research suggests that deception is often a rational adaptation to a dysfunctional environment.
If in your team or company:
- A culture of fear and punishment for mistakes prevails.
- There is a large power distance and strict subordination.
- Leadership engages in micromanagement or gaslighting.
...employees will lie to protect themselves. Lying becomes a shield against aggression and a tool for status management. It is a signal that psychological safety is broken.
Tip from MriyaRun: To understand your true motives and fears, it is helpful to keep an emotion diary. It helps track the moment when the urge to lie arises and understand the emotion behind it (fear, shame, resentment).
? View psychological diaries and emotional workbooks at MriyaRun
Part 2. Boundaries: The Invisible Architecture of Trust
Resilient trust cannot simply be "switched on." It must be designed. And the foundation of this design is personal boundaries.
Boundaries are not walls isolating you from colleagues. They are filters protecting your energy and mental health from burnout and manipulation.
- Porous Boundaries: You cannot say "no," take on others' work, and eventually burnout.
- Rigid Boundaries: You wall yourself off from everyone, avoiding collaboration.
- Healthy Boundaries: You are flexible but firm in your values. You can help a colleague, but not at the expense of your own rest.
When a manager calls after hours or criticizes personality rather than work, it is a boundary violation. In response, the subordinate starts lying ("I didn't see the message") to create an artificial space of safety.
MriyaRun Toolkit: Learning to feel your limits is hard. Use our Metaphorical Associative Cards (MAC) for self-reflection to visualize your relationships with colleagues and find balance. And our motivational stickers and posters for your workspace will remind you of the importance of "Self."
? Choose MAC cards and posters about personal boundaries
Part 3. Assertiveness and "I-Statements"
Honesty requires courage. But how do you tell a manager about a problem without causing a conflict? The answer is assertive communication.
Use the "I-Statement" technique:
- Fact: "When I receive an urgent task at 6 PM..."
- Emotion: "...I feel anxious and exhausted..."
- Reason/Impact: "...because it disrupts my recovery time and lowers my productivity for tomorrow."
- Request: "I would appreciate it if we could plan such tasks before lunch" .
The ability to refuse ecologically (saying "No") is a critical skill for burnout prevention.
Practice: For training non-conflict communication and structuring thoughts, Emotional Intelligence Workbooks from MriyaRun are ideal. They contain exercises that will help articulate your position clearly and calmly.
? Find workbooks for developing emotional intelligence
Part 4. How to Restore Trust (A Guide for Leaders)
If trust is lost, apologies alone are not enough. An action plan is needed:
- Acknowledge the mistake immediately. Do not blame circumstances.
- Radical Transparency. Explain the consequences.
- Empathy. Apologize for the impact of your actions on others' feelings.
- Plan for Change. What exactly will you do to prevent this from happening again?.
- Consistency. Actions are more important than words.
Leadership is not control, but creating an environment where people do not need to lie.
Conclusion:
Honesty, gratitude, and self-acceptance are skills that can be trained. Start small: set boundaries, keep a success journal, and learn to speak about your feelings.
- Mriya.run: Space for Conscious Change. Learning, Practice & Tools
- Tools & Resources
- The Trust Algorithm: Building Honesty and Boundaries at Work