Why is logic not enough? We analyze SMART goals through Transactional Analysis and the Inner Child. Learn how to achieve your dreams without burnout.
Why SMART Doesn't Work Without the Inner Child? The Anatomy of Goal Achievement: From Dream to Celebration
We’ve all read about SMART. We’ve all written plans in notebooks at the start of the year. But why do some goals energize us, while others trigger only anxiety or procrastination?
The answer is simple: we try to achieve goals using only logic, ignoring what’s happening inside us. Let’s break down the process of goal achievement through depth psychology and Transactional Analysis.
Stage 1. Diagnosis: What Are You Missing?
Before running a marathon, check your health. Look at your goal. What do you feel? Your emotions are indicators of which puzzle piece is missing in your system of change (based on the Knoster model):
- Confusion: If you don't know where to go, you lack Vision.
- Anxiety: If the goal scares you, you lack Skills. You simply don't know how to do it yet.
- Resistance: "Why do I need this? Everything is fine as is." Here lies a problem with Incentives/Intention. You haven't answered the "Why?" for yourself.
- Frustration: You want to, you know how, but things are stagnant? You lack Resources (time, money, support).
- False Starts: You start and quit, start again... You lack an Action Plan.
Key to Success: Only the presence of all 5 elements (Vision + Skills + Incentives + Resources + Plan) yields sustainable results.
Stage 2. Three Inner Players: Reassembling SMART
Classic SMART is dry. For a goal to become "alive," it must be agreed upon by three parts of your personality (ego states): Parent, Adult, and Child.
- Relevant — Inner Child: This is the most crucial point. Does your Inner Toddler really want this? Is there "I want!" energy there, or just a dry "I must"? Without the Child's energy, you won't get far.
- Attainable — Inner Adult: Realism kicks in here. Does your Adult believe this is real? They evaluate facts, time, and possibilities without emotion.
- Measurable — Inner Parent: This is your controlling part. How will we verify that the homework is done? What are the quality criteria?
Stage 3. Permission to Succeed: The Intrapsychic Route
Even with a perfect plan, we can sabotage ourselves if we lack internal Permissions for certain stages of the journey:
- Thought → Intention: You need permission to dream and fantasize.
- Message → Response: You need permission to risk. Do you allow yourself to declare your intention?
- Experience (Work): Critical here is permission for mistakes and support. Allow yourself to be imperfect and ask for help.
- Losses/Victories → Celebration:Permission for success: Can you own your achievements?Permission to celebrate: Without emotional reinforcement (joy), the brain won't want to start a new cycle.
Insight from MriyaRun
"We are used to thinking that achieving a goal is about rigid discipline and 'gritted teeth.' But the truth is, your Inner Adult can write the perfect plan, but if your Inner Child feels no interest, joy, or play in it, the energy will run out at the start.
True productivity is not violence against oneself, but an honest dialogue between 'Must' and 'Want.' Allow yourself not just to achieve, but to celebrate every step."
Self-Therapeutic Tools for Your Journey
If you feel stuck or want to better understand your true desires:
Free MriyaRun Online Diary
Your space for daily reflection. Helps track emotional states and focus on what matters. Try for free
Metaphorical Cards (MAC)
When logic hits a dead end, the subconscious gives the best answers. Our decks help bypass internal resistance. Choose your deck
Author's Workbooks
Step-by-step guides for working on boundaries, self-worth, and goals. Like a psychologist always at hand. View workbooks
- MriyaRun | Psych Journals, Workbooks & MAC Cards
- Life Distance
- Why SMART Goals Fail: Psychology of Success | MriyaRun