Learn the 90-second rule and distinguish authentic emotions from racket feelings. Boost your EQ with the Emotional Intelligence Diary tools by MriyaRun.
Emotional Literacy: The Art of Managing Your Energy, Not Suppressing It
In the modern world, the concept of "Emotional Intelligence" (EQ) is often confused with the ability to "keep a straight face" or always stay positive. But true emotional literacy is not about masks. It is a transition from chaotic experiences that knock you off your feet to a deep understanding of how your psyche generates energy in response to the world.
To live expressing yourself, rather than trying to impress others—this is the goal of psychological maturity. But how can we achieve this when emotions overwhelm us? Let's break down the mechanics of our feelings.
The Anatomy of Time: Why Do We Suffer Longer Than Necessary?
Understanding the temporal nature of reactions is the first step to self-mastery. Any reaction unfolds in time, and neurophysiology offers us an amazing fact: the chemical storm is not eternal.
- Affect (split second). This is the first biological flash response. The body reacts faster than consciousness kicks in. Instincts operate here.
- Emotion (90 seconds). Neurophysiologists state that the chemical cycle of an emotion—from the release of hormones into the blood to their breakdown—lasts only about a minute and a half. This is a critically important moment.
- Feelings and Mood. If you remain angry or afraid for longer than 90 seconds, it means you are mentally restarting this process. You are pulling the "trigger" again and again, turning a short emotion into a prolonged feeling or even a chronic mood.
Conclusion: Suffering that lasts longer than 90 seconds is often our unconscious choice to fuel old stories.
Masks We Wear: Authenticity vs. Racket
In Transactional Analysis, there is a fundamental distinction: is what you are feeling real (authentic), or is it a "learned" reaction, known as a racket feeling.
- Authentic emotion solves a problem "here and now." Fear saves from a threat, anger helps protect boundaries, sadness allows one to grieve a loss. When such an emotion is expressed, relief follows.
- Racket feeling is a substitute. It is a manipulation or defense mechanism learned in childhood. For example, if a child was forbidden to be angry, as an adult, they might substitute anger with resentment or guilt.
Racket feelings do not resolve the situation. They only accumulate tension to confirm an old Script Decision—an unconscious life plan we made as children. Distinguishing between them is a task for developing emotional intelligence.
Anger as the Energy of Change
Many are afraid of their own anger, but an emotionally literate person knows: anger is colossal energy. It arises where there is an unmet need.
You have a choice:
- Put this energy into action: change the situation, negotiate, protect yourself.
- Direct it inward: swallow it, turning it into psychosomatics.
The world often provokes us into power games. But when you understand that the "chemical storm" lasts only 90 seconds, you learn to take a Pause. It is in this pause that freedom is born: not to react automatically according to an old destructive script, but to respond consciously, as a free individual.
From Theory to Practice: MriyaRun Tools
Understanding theory is important, but Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is a "muscle" that needs to be trained daily. We cannot simply order ourselves to be calm, but we can learn to track our states.
It is for deep work with these processes that the MriyaRun project has developed a specialized tool—the Emotional Intelligence Diary.
This is not just a notebook for notes; it is your personal coach on paper that helps you:
- Catch the "90 seconds": Record the moment an emotion arises and prevent it from growing into a destructive mood.
- Distinguish masks: Understand where you are experiencing authentic feelings and where "racket" and old childhood scripts kick in.
- Manage energy: Transform anger and anxiety into a resource for achieving goals.
We created this diary to help you move from the chaos of reactions to the clarity of awareness. This is your space for an honest dialogue with yourself.
Start your journey to emotional freedom here:
Emotion & EQ Diary by MriyaRun
To be, not to seem—starts with understanding yourself.
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