Why the "team is family" metaphor hurts business. Transactional Analysis, personality types, and tools for building an "Adult-Adult" partnership. Burnout prevention practices from MriyaRun.
The Bridge Between Manager and Team: Why Work is Not a Family, But a Partnership
We often hear the phrase: "Our team is a family." It sounds cozy, but from a business psychology perspective, it's a dangerous trap. The family metaphor unconsciously triggers childhood scripts: the manager becomes the "Parent" who must rescue and control, and employees become "Children" who seek praise or rebel.
We will analyze how to step out of the "Caring Parent" role and build an effective "Adult-Adult" partnership using Transactional Analysis and MriyaRun self-reflection tools.
The "Manager-Parent" Trap and Stepping into Adulthood
When a manager takes on the role of a parent, they begin to overprotect the team. This leads to blurred boundaries and the creation of dependent relationships.
The true goal of leadership is an "Adult-Adult" partnership. In this model, the leader acts as an architect of the environment, not a rescuer.
- Parent (P): Criticizes or over-cares ("I know better how it should be done").
- Child (C): Gets offended, manipulates, or waits for instructions ("Tell me what to do").
- Adult (A): Analyzes facts, makes decisions here and now.
MriyaRun Tool: To track which Ego State you are communicating from, use our self-reflection journals. Record your reactions to difficult situations: was it resentment (Child) or constructive analysis (Adult)?
? Choose a journal for mindfulness development
Six Spheres of Boundaries: Your User Manual
Personal boundaries are the foundation of trust. It's not selfishness; it's a "user manual" for your personality. At work, there are 6 types of boundaries that are most often violated:
- Time: Calls on weekends or expectations of instant replies at night.
- Emotional: When you are used as a "shoulder to cry on" or your feelings are invalidated.
- Mental: Imposing opinions and disregarding your ideas.
- Physical, Material, and Sexual.
If you feel guilt when saying "no," or irritation towards colleagues, it is a signal of boundary violation.
Practice: Keep a "Boundary Violation Journal" in our MriyaRun planner. Record the event, the emotion, and your reaction. This helps identify where your "immune system" is failing. Find the perfect planner for boundary work
Psychology of Conflict: How Not to Play the Drama
Conflicts at work are often just the tip of the iceberg. Deep psychological types hide underwater. For example:
- Narcissistic Colleague: Needs admiration, fears criticism. Strategy: praise publicly, criticize privately using the "sandwich method".
- Paranoid Colleague: Suspicious, looks for hidden agendas. Strategy: maximum transparency and written documentation.
- Depressive Colleague: Fears making mistakes. Strategy: break tasks into small steps.
The worst scenario is the Karpman Drama Triangle, where we play the roles of Victim, Persecutor, or Rescuer. Your task is to move to the Winner's Triangle by becoming a Creator, Challenger, or Coach.
MriyaRun Solution: Use Metaphorical Associative Cards (MAC) in team sessions or alone to see the hidden roles you are playing. Visualization helps to break out of unconscious scripts. View the MAC cards collection
Communication and Burnout Prevention
Assertiveness is the golden mean between aggression and passivity. Use the SBI-R technique (Situation-Behavior-Impact-Request) for feedback.
Burnout is not an employee's weakness, but a system error. To prevent this, conduct an "Energy Audit" and the "Rose, Thorn, and Bud" exercise (success, challenge, looking forward to).
Conclusion:
Moving to partnership requires effort, but the result is a team where trust prevails, not fear. Start small: set boundaries, learn to talk about emotions, and use the right tools.
The MriyaRun Shop offers everything you need for your mental growth: from emotional intelligence workbooks to stickers that remind you of the importance of rest. Go to MriyaRun
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- Manager is Not a Parent: Psychology of a Productive Team | MriyaRun