Gratitude Practice and the VODA Reflection Exercise

This article is for self-reflection. If writing intensifies anxiety or distressing memories, pause and discuss your experience with a qualified professional.

At the end of a day, it can be easy to remember ten unfinished tasks and overlook a conversation that made things a little easier. Gratitude writing invites you to stay with that episode: who was there, what helped, and why it mattered. A good episode can share the page with something that upset you.

In Steps of Gratitude, Dmytro Telushko uses gratitude as a reason to look more closely at everyday experience. Below is a way to make a short journal entry, followed by the VODA reflection sequence for moments when gratitude does not come easily and difficult feelings need attention.

In Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough’s study, participants recorded things they appreciated, hassles, or other events. The researchers compared self-reported well-being; the most consistent differences concerned positive affect. The research concerned writing tasks and participants’ well-being rather than a particular journal.

You can assess writing closer to your own experience: does it help you notice support, describe it accurately, or tell someone what mattered? If an entry becomes a demand to feel happy, change the question or take a break.

Instead of “I am grateful for my friends,” you might write: “A friend called after a difficult meeting and listened without interrupting. I felt less alone.” The entry includes an event, someone’s contribution, and your response. You can share that appreciation with your friend if you want to; writing it down does not create an obligation.

One episode is enough to start. Ask what happened, what you value about it, and how it affected you. A cup of tea in a quiet room or a timely rest can remain a small detail. You do not have to justify why it counts.

After loss, humiliation, or exhaustion, being asked to find something positive may feel misplaced. You do not need to thank anyone for abuse or prove that a painful event was necessary for growth. You can appreciate someone who helped you leave a dangerous situation while remaining angry about what happened.

An honest entry might say: “Today I do not want to turn anything into a gratitude prompt. I need sleep and a conversation.” That is also an observation about your needs. Gratitude can wait until you want to return to it.

VODA is a reflection sequence whose name comes from the Ukrainian-language exercise. In English, the four steps are acknowledge, allow without judgment, explore, and step back.

Acknowledge. What am I feeling? “I am angry because our agreement was cancelled” is more specific than “Something is wrong with me.” If you cannot name an emotion, start with a simple description: pleasant, unpleasant, tense, or numb.

Allow without judgment. Can I leave the feeling here briefly without demanding that it disappear? Acknowledging anger does not give permission to shout at someone. There is still a choice about what you do.

Explore. What happened before this reaction, what did I think, and what do I need now? Notice bodily sensations only if doing so feels comfortable. You do not have to force your attention inward or search for a hidden memory.

Step back. Can I put a little distance between myself and the first conclusion? “They do not value me” is a thought that may need checking. Your next step might be a pause, a question about the agreement, or a request for support. Sometimes you will want to change something in the situation; at other times, understanding your response will be enough.

Choose a convenient moment and a manageable amount of writing. A missed entry does not require a double assignment the next day. If you have no energy for several evenings, try one sentence or a different time of day.

The MriyaRun gratitude journal overview compares the compact journal with the longer workbook. Choose according to how you prefer to write and which questions you want to return to.