Life is a Marathon: Your Heroic Journey to Wholeness and a Conscious Life

There are times when life resembles the still water of a frozen lake. There are no waves, no wind, only a thick, viscous silence in which dreams and desires drown. It seems that only an endless night lies ahead. But, as we know, the darkest night is just before the dawn. This feeling of stagnation, internal discomfort, or a deep need for change is not a sign of defeat. It is your personal "Call to Adventure." It is a deep, archetypal impulse, described by mythologist Joseph Campbell, that signals the beginning of the most important journey—the path to oneself.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. And this call is the sound of the starting pistol. However, how often do we ignore this sound? Our inner child, intoxicated by instant rewards and dopamine, stomps its feet and screams "I want it!", postponing real life for later. We see the goal, but after taking just one step, we hit an invisible wall. This wall—the fear of the unknown, laziness, and internal resistance—is a classic stage of the "Refusal of the Call." Our old friend, Procrastination, like a mythical Kraken from the depths of the subconscious, awakens to "save" us from the discomfort of change, devouring all fragile ideas and returning us to the familiar, "stable" swamp.

This article offers you a map and compass for this marathon. It does not promise an easy path, but it guarantees that it will be meaningful. Allow yourself this adventure. Allow yourself to see what comes of it, playing with the curiosity of an explorer.

Every great traveler begins with a map. Before setting out on a journey, they must understand where they are now. For our marathon, this map is the "Balance Model," developed by the founder of positive psychotherapy, Nossrat Peseschkian. This model, sometimes called the "Crystal of Balance," asserts that mental well-being depends on a harmonious equilibrium among four fundamental areas of life.

These four areas are the sails of our ship, each simultaneously a source of energy for us :

Body/Health: Our physical vessel. This includes health, sports, energy, sleep, nutrition, and rest. Without a strong hull, the ship will not withstand a storm.
Activity/Achievements: Our self-realization. This includes work, career, learning, finances, and accomplishments. This is the sail that moves us forward.
Contacts/Relationships: Our connection to the world. This includes personal relationships, family, friends, communication, and emotions. This is the crew with whom we sail.
Meaning/Future: Our internal compass. This includes values, dreams, faith, future plans, and purpose. This is what points us toward our lighthouse.

To turn this model into a practical tool, a self-diagnosis is necessary. Mriya.run suggests breaking down these four global spheres into eight more specific areas for self-reflection. Rate your satisfaction in each on a scale of 1 to 10, asking yourself key questions :

BODY Sphere:Health and Sports: How satisfied am I with my physical condition? Do I move enough?Resourcefulness: Do I feel energetic and rested? What is the quality of my sleep?
Health and Sports: How satisfied am I with my physical condition? Do I move enough?
Resourcefulness: Do I feel energetic and rested? What is the quality of my sleep?
ACTIVITY Sphere:Development: Am I learning new things? Am I growing as a professional and as a person?Realization and Career: Does my work bring me satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment?
Development: Am I learning new things? Am I growing as a professional and as a person?
Realization and Career: Does my work bring me satisfaction and a sense of fulfillment?
RELATIONSHIPS Sphere:Personal Relationships: How deep and supportive are my closest relationships?Environment, Friends: Does my social circle inspire me? Do I feel part of a community?
Personal Relationships: How deep and supportive are my closest relationships?
Environment, Friends: Does my social circle inspire me? Do I feel part of a community?
MEANING Sphere:Purpose: Do I have a clear, inspiring purpose that guides me forward?Values and Meanings: Do I live in harmony with my deepest values? Do I feel a sense of meaning in my life?
Purpose: Do I have a clear, inspiring purpose that guides me forward?
Values and Meanings: Do I live in harmony with my deepest values? Do I feel a sense of meaning in my life?

The practical task is to honestly assess your level of satisfaction in each of the eight areas. Then, choose one, the most priority sphere for this year, and formulate one main, specific goal within it. It is important to understand that the goal is not to live for the sake of perfect balance, but to consciously manage your energy. This map shows where the breaches are now and which sail needs the most attention.

When the map is before your eyes and the priority direction is determined, the decisive moment arrives—"Crossing the First Threshold." This is a conscious decision to leave the familiar world of old habits and beliefs. For this step to be firm, not impulsive, one must overcome the cognitive bias that forces us to focus only on the positive consequences of desired changes.

Here, a powerful decision-making tool comes to the rescue—Descartes' Square.[1, 1] This technique requires examining the situation from four different sides by honestly answering four critical questions :

What will happen if this occurs? (What benefits will I gain if I achieve the goal?)
What will happen if this does not occur? (What benefits will I gain if everything remains as it is? These are the pros of inaction.)
What will not happen if this occurs? (What downsides, losses will I incur if I achieve the goal? This is the price of change.)
What will not happen if this does not occur? (What downsides will I lose if I do not achieve the goal? This is the most difficult question for the brain as it contains a double negative, but it often reveals the hidden benefits of change ).

This analysis helps to weigh the true cost and benefits of starting a transformational marathon compared to staying in the comfort zone. It provides the clarity needed for a decisive choice.

After this analysis, it is important to check if the goal resonates with you on an emotional level. It should be positive, specific, and conscious. Ask yourself the final questions: "Why do I need this? What is the true value of this decision? How will I feel when I achieve this? Would I do this if no one ever found out about it?".[1, 1] If something inside warmly says, "Yes, this is it!", it means your heart and mind have formed an alliance. You are ready to start.

The sequence of these tools—the Balance Model, followed by Descartes' Square—is not accidental. It reflects the logic of a therapeutic process: first, diagnosis ("Where am I?"), and then making a conscious decision to act ("Am I ready to go?"). This structure transforms a vague desire to "change something" into a specific, well-founded intention.

However, the most powerful element of this initial stage is the change of narrative. By using the structure of the "Hero's Journey," a person ceases to be a patient with problems and becomes a Hero on the verge of a great adventure. This identity shift is in itself a powerful psychological intervention that provides dignity, purpose, and resilience even before the first practical step is taken. The journey is no longer about fixing flaws, but about realizing a mythical destiny.

When the hero crosses the threshold, he enters uncharted lands—the "belly of the whale" or the "underworld." In our marathon, this land is our subconscious. Freud aptly described it with the metaphor of an iceberg: a huge, hidden part of the psyche that controls most of our behavior. Modern neuroscience confirms that the subconscious is a highly efficient, automated system that performs 90–95% of our mental activity, freeing up consciousness for new, complex tasks.[1, 1] We think we live consciously, but most of the time we act on autopilot, guided by programs instilled in us since childhood.

This explains why change is so difficult. Between the consciousness, where new information enters, and the subconscious, where our deep-seated beliefs are stored, stands a guard—the "critical factor of consciousness."[1, 1] Like a strict censor, it rejects any idea that contradicts old attitudes. You are told, "You can easily make money!", and the guard instantly blocks this thought because your subconscious is engraved with: "There is no such thing as easy money." This is why purchased courses, marathons, and effective programs often don't work. The system rejects them, proving to itself that "this doesn't work for you."

These subconscious attitudes are the "dragons" the hero must fight. They can manifest as self-sabotage, procrastination, and even physically through the nocebo effect (when negative thoughts cause illness). The subconscious can actively work against conscious desires, creating paradoxical situations: for example, you fear something, but unconsciously you are drawn to this problem because the system is constantly scanning reality for the given parameters.

To defeat these inner dragons, you must first see them. But doing this in your head is futile. The mind will deceive, emotions will take over. The best tool to bring the hidden into the light is expressive writing, or journaling.

This is not just recording the day's events. It is a scientifically-backed tool, its effectiveness proven by the pioneering research of psychologist James Pennebaker. His work showed that when people write about their deepest thoughts and feelings related to traumatic or stressful events, it significantly improves their physical and mental health. Anxiety, depression, and blood pressure decrease, while immune function and memory improve.

Why does it work?

Halting Emotions and Gaining an External Perspective: When we start writing, the emotional storm subsides. We transform from an active participant in the drama to its observer. This allows us to look at the situation objectively.
Creating a Coherent Narrative: Writing helps us structure chaotic thoughts and feelings, creating a logical, consistent story from them. Pennebaker's linguistic analysis showed that people who demonstrated improvement began to use more cognitive words in their texts (like "understand," "think," "because") and viewed the situation from different perspectives (shifting from "I" to "he/she/they" and back). This indicates an active process of sense-making and searching for meaning.
Reducing Cognitive Load: Holding and suppressing traumatic thoughts requires immense psychological effort. Putting them on paper frees up cognitive resources.

The Mriya.run journal is a digital embodiment of this powerful tool that disciplines, motivates, and provides an opportunity for self-observation, analysis, and stress reduction. It is important to approach this process correctly. If journaling turns into endless rumination on negativity, it can be harmful. Therefore, the key is not just to pour out pain, but also to analyze it, seek solutions, and find paths for growth.

Armed with a journal, the hero is ready for the main battle. This battle takes place on two fronts: cognitive and deep.

Cognitive Reframing: The Sword for Rewriting History

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) offers a simple but effective technique for changing the narrative, developed by Robert Dilts: shifting from the "Problem Frame" to the "Solution Frame." This is, in essence, changing the questions we ask ourselves in our journal and in life.

The "Problem Frame," which is the voice of the Victim, asks destructive questions: "What is the problem? How long has this been going on? Who is to blame? Why is this happening?". The result of this approach is fixation on the past, a sense of helplessness, searching for blame, and resource depletion.

In contrast, the "Solution Frame," which is the voice of the Hero, focuses on constructive questions: "What do I want? What would be the best solution? Who or what can help me? What will I learn by solving this task?". This directs attention to the future, provides a sense of control, motivates action, and promotes learning and growth.

This shift from destructive questions to constructive ones is the "sword" with which the hero rewrites their story from the position of a victim to that of an agent. When an obstacle is perceived not as a problem, but as an interesting task, the subconscious begins to work for you, not against you.

Deep Integration: Reconciling with the Shadow

However, some of our "dragons" are not just negative thoughts, but entire parts of our personality that we have repressed and deny. Carl Jung called this collection of unacceptable traits the "Shadow." These can be not only "bad" qualities like anger, envy, or egoism, but also positive ones—creativity, spontaneity, strength—that were suppressed in childhood as "inappropriate."

Ignoring the Shadow is dangerous. It doesn't disappear but is projected onto others: what irritates us most in people is often our own unrecognized shadow. It can break through in uncontrolled emotional reactions or acts of self-sabotage.

Shadow Work is the process of becoming aware of and integrating these split-off parts. It's not about becoming "bad," but about becoming whole. Practical exercises for working with the Shadow in a journal include :

Identifying Projections: Write down which traits in other people evoke the strongest emotional reaction in you (irritation, judgment, envy). Think about how these traits might manifest in your life in a hidden form.
Dialogue with the Shadow: Imagine your Shadow as a separate figure. Ask it questions in your journal: "What do you want? What are you protecting me from? What gift do you carry?". Write down the answers without censoring them.
Dream Analysis: Dreams are a direct channel to the subconscious. Record your dreams, especially those where dark, scary, or incomprehensible figures appear. They may symbolize aspects of your Shadow.

This work requires courage and self-compassion, but its rewards are immense: improved relationships, the release of creative energy, and a deep sense of authenticity.

Deep psychological work has a direct physiological imprint. The feeling of being stuck in the "Problem Frame" or being under the power of the Shadow is not just a metaphor. It is a state of the nervous system. The Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, gives us a scientific map of this state.

According to this theory, our autonomic nervous system has three hierarchical states that are activated in response to signals of safety or danger from the environment (a process called "neuroception") :

Ventral Vagal State (Safety and Social Engagement): This is a state of calm, openness, curiosity, and connection. The heartbeat is calm, breathing is deep. In this state, we are capable of learning, creativity, and healthy relationships. This is the optimal state for the hero.
Sympathetic State (Mobilization, "Fight or Flight"): Activated when danger is sensed. The body mobilizes for action: the heart pounds, muscles tense. This is a state of anxiety, anger, panic.
Dorsal Vagal State (Immobilization, "Freeze"): The most ancient defense mechanism, activated in the face of mortal danger or hopelessness. This is a state of collapse, dissociation, numbness, depression.

Chronic stress, trauma, or constantly being in negative psychological patterns "trap" the nervous system in sympathetic or dorsal states. This explains why we feel exhausted, anxious, or apathetic.

An objective biomarker of the flexibility and health of our nervous system is heart rate variability (HRV). This is not the pulse rate, but microscopic fluctuations in the time between heartbeats. High HRV means your nervous system is flexible, able to quickly switch between states of tension and relaxation. It is a sign of resilience. Low HRV, conversely, is associated with chronic stress, anxiety, depression, and the risk of cardiovascular disease.

The good news is that we can consciously train our nervous system to increase HRV and resilience. Simple but powerful practices, such as slow, coherent breathing (e.g., inhaling for 5 seconds, exhaling for 5 seconds), stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the parasympathetic system ("rest and digest"), which promotes a shift into the safe ventral vagal state. This is physiological training for the marathon of change.

Thus, psychological and physiological work are inextricably linked. Cognitive reframing and shadow integration are acts of sending conscious safety signals to your nervous system. This allows a shift from a physiology of threat to a physiology of safety, creating a solid foundation for further change. The goal of this stage of the marathon is to achieve coherence between the story we tell ourselves and the state our body is in.

After the deep work of deconstructing old patterns, comes the stage of consciously building a new life. This is the "long middle" of the marathon, where victory is forged not by heroic sprints, but by thousands of consistent, deliberate steps. This stage is dedicated to the art and science of forming habits that will make transformation not a temporary project, but a new reality.

Why do most New Year's resolutions fail by February? Because they are built on a flawed foundation. Leading habit formation expert James Clear argues that the traditional, outcome-oriented approach is ineffective. When we set a goal like "lose 10 kg," we focus on what we want to

get. This approach is fragile and easily shattered by the first failure.

The key to long-term change is identity-based habits. This approach differs from the traditional, outcome-oriented one.

The outcome-oriented approach focuses on what you want to get (e.g., "I want to run a marathon"). Its motivation is external, and change is perceived as a large, daunting event in the future. The reaction to failure here is often catastrophic ("I missed a workout, I'm a failure, it's all over"), and the effect is temporary. In contrast, the identity-based approach focuses on who you want to become (e.g., "I want to become a runner"). The motivation here is internal—confirming your new identity. Change is about small daily actions that prove who you are. The reaction to failure is more constructive ("Runners sometimes miss workouts. I'll get back to my run tomorrow"), and the effect is sustainable and integrated into your lifestyle.

The process of forming a new identity consists of two simple steps :

Decide the type of person you want to be. For example: "I want to be a person who takes care of their health," "I want to be a person who is constantly learning," "I want to be a calm and balanced parent."
Prove it to yourself with small wins. Every action that aligns with your new identity is a "vote" for it. Read one page of a book? That's a vote for the identity of a "learner." Did five squats? That's a vote for the identity of a "healthy person."

The goal is not to achieve perfection immediately, but to cast more votes for the new identity each day than for the old one. Over time, these votes accumulate, and the new identity becomes your reality. This approach is deeply empowering because it shifts the focus from a distant, unattainable goal to the present moment and who you are becoming right now.

The identity-based approach becomes a reality through micro-habits—tiny, manageable actions that are so small they are almost impossible not to do. Instead of the goal "work out for an hour every day," a micro-habit might be "put on sneakers and go outside for one minute." This lowers the resistance threshold and creates momentum.

Here are a few daily micro-rituals that can become the foundation for significant changes :

For physical well-being:Exercise: 5 minutes of morning stretching or 10 squats while brushing your teeth. Nutrition: Add one vegetable to your lunch or drink a glass of water immediately after waking up. Sleep: Put your phone away 30 minutes before bed and read one page of a paper book.
Exercise: 5 minutes of morning stretching or 10 squats while brushing your teeth.
Nutrition: Add one vegetable to your lunch or drink a glass of water immediately after waking up.
Sleep: Put your phone away 30 minutes before bed and read one page of a paper book.
For mental well-being:Planning: 2-3 minutes in the morning to plan the day. Reflection: 5 minutes in the evening to write in your journal about the main event of the day and find something to be grateful for. Silence: A 5-minute walk in silence, without a phone or headphones, just observing the world.
Planning: 2-3 minutes in the morning to plan the day.
Reflection: 5 minutes in the evening to write in your journal about the main event of the day and find something to be grateful for.
Silence: A 5-minute walk in silence, without a phone or headphones, just observing the world.

To integrate these micro-habits into your life, you can use proven techniques like "Habit Stacking"—linking a new habit to an existing one (e.g., "After I make my morning coffee, I will meditate for one minute").

It's important to remember that changing habits is a process that requires time and patience. Research shows that it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. If a setback occurs, it's normal. Don't blame yourself. Just smile and continue. It's an adventure, after all, and you'll have something to remember.

Any marathon runner, even the most experienced, eventually "hits the wall." In the journey of change, failures, setbacks, and moments of doubt are inevitable. How we react to these moments determines whether we can continue the race.

Traditionally, society bets on self-esteem—the evaluation of one's own worth. The problem is that self-esteem is unstable and conditional. It depends on external successes, achievements, and comparisons with others. When we are successful, self-esteem is high. When we fail, it plummets, leaving us with feelings of worthlessness and shame. Relying on self-esteem is like fueling a car with fuel that is only available on sunny days.

A more reliable and sustainable source of inner strength is self-compassion. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading researcher on this phenomenon, defines self-compassion as treating oneself with the same kindness, care, and understanding that we would show to a good friend who is suffering. Self-compassion does not depend on success or failure and consists of three key components :

Self-Kindness vs. Self-Judgment: Instead of berating ourselves for a mistake, we treat ourselves with warmth and understanding. We comfort ourselves, not criticize.
Common Humanity vs. Isolation: We remind ourselves that suffering, imperfection, and failure are part of the universal human experience. We are not alone in our pain. This is what connects us with all people, rather than separating us.
Mindfulness vs. Over-Identification: We observe our painful thoughts and feelings in a balanced way, not suppressing them, but also not allowing them to completely overwhelm us. We acknowledge the pain without becoming the pain.

Research shows that people with higher levels of self-compassion are more psychologically resilient, less anxious and depressed, and more motivated to change after a failure. Self-compassion allows us to learn from our mistakes, rather than being paralyzed by them.

A practical exercise for developing self-compassion is the "Self-Compassion Letter." When you are distressed about a failure, take a piece of paper and write a letter to yourself from the perspective of an imaginary, unconditionally loving and wise friend. What would they say to you in this situation? How would they express their care, understanding, and support?

This shift from self-esteem to self-compassion is fundamental to successfully completing the marathon. Self-compassion is the "first-aid kit" that the hero always carries to heal wounds and continue their journey.

The connection between these elements is direct and powerful. Micro-habits are physical actions. These actions are "votes" for a new identity. The accumulation of these votes forms a new, stable identity. When a failure occurs that threatens this new identity, it is self-compassion that acts as a defense mechanism. It allows you to say, "I am a healthy person who just ate a piece of cake," rather than "I am a failure who broke my diet." Thus, self-compassion protects the new identity and allows the habit-forming process to continue. This is the practical embodiment of the "Solution Frame" from the previous section: instead of focusing on the problem ("I failed"), we focus on the solution ("I continue my journey because that's the kind of person I am").

A marathon is not just about crossing the finish line. The most important part begins after it: how to live on, embodying the acquired experience in everyday life. This final part is dedicated to integration—the "Return" of the hero to the ordinary world, but in a new capacity. This is the stage where transformation becomes not just a memory, but a way of life.

At this stage, the hero, who has gone through internal trials, becomes the "Master of Two Worlds"—he has learned to navigate both the inner landscape of his psyche and the outer world. Here we return to the

Peseschkian Balance Model, but no longer as a diagnostic tool, but as a dynamic dashboard for conscious life management.

The goal now is not to achieve a static 25-25-25-25 equilibrium, which is rarely possible in real life, but to consciously and flexibly distribute one's energy, maintaining harmony in the long term. This is the art of

"Life Crafting"—a proactive and conscious process of shaping one's life according to one's own values, passions, and goals. Research shows that people who engage in life crafting experience more meaning, authenticity, and psychological well-being.

Life crafting includes seven main strategies :

Cognitive Crafting: Changing one's mindset and perception. For example, practicing gratitude to see more positives in routine tasks.
Task Crafting: Changing the nature, scope, and number of tasks in different areas of life to make them more satisfying.
Relational Crafting: Consciously nurturing inspiring relationships and setting healthy boundaries with those that are draining.
Skill Crafting: Developing talents and applying strengths to better meet the demands of the environment.
Interest Crafting: Consciously including hobbies and activities in one's life that bring joy and promote personal growth.
Environmental Crafting: Organizing physical space and setting boundaries between different life roles (e.g., work and home).
Resource and Demand Crafting: Optimizing life resources (time, energy) and reducing excessive demands to avoid burnout.

This approach transforms a person from a passive consumer of circumstances into an active architect of their life.

The hero's return to their "ordinary world" is not always smooth. The personal transformation of one person inevitably changes the dynamics of their relationships. Growth can create social friction. A partner, friends, or family may not understand the new priorities, feel threatened, or simply miss the "old" version of the person.

To navigate these complex waters, especially in the closest relationships, the tools from the Gottman Institute's research are extremely useful. A key concept here is "bids for connection." These are any, often subtle, attempts by one partner to get the attention, affection, or support of the other—a look, a question, a touch, a joke.

According to Gottman, there are three types of responses to such a bid :

Turning Toward: Actively and positively responding to the bid. This demonstrates interest, empathy, and support. For example, to a partner's words, "Look at that beautiful sunset!", the response "It's truly incredible!" is turning toward. Research shows that happy couples turn toward each other 86% of the time.
Turning Away: Ignoring or missing the bid. For example, in response to the same words, continuing to look at the phone. This is the most destructive type of reaction, as over time the partner simply stops making bids.
Turning Against: An aggressive or hostile reaction to the bid. For example: "What do you want from me? I'm busy!".

The conscious practice of "turning toward" is a fundamental skill for strengthening relationships that have been strained by personal changes. It is a micro-action that builds trust and emotional connection.

When the hero establishes a connection in their immediate circle, their influence begins to spread further. This phenomenon is known as social contagion. Research shows that behaviors and emotions can spread through social networks like a virus. Healthy habits, such as regular exercise, are "contagious." Happiness, cooperation, and even optimism spread in the same way.

Thus, the returning hero shares their "elixir" not through teaching, but through example. Their conscious, balanced life, their positive habits, and their ability to build healthy relationships become a catalyst for change in their environment. By changing ourselves, we increase the chance of living in a better world. This is the final stage of the heroic journey—not just personal salvation, but service to one's community.

The path outlined in this article—from realizing the need for change to deep inner work and integrating the new "self" into the world—is not a one-time event. It is the embodiment of the Mriya.run philosophy: life is a marathon.

We began with the "Call to Adventure," using the "Crystal of Balance" for diagnosis and "Descartes' Square" to make a firm commitment. Then we delved into "deep work," where, with the help of expressive writing, NLP techniques, and shadow work, we met our inner "dragons"—limiting beliefs and repressed parts of ourselves. We learned that this psychological struggle has a physiological dimension, and we learned to regulate our nervous system to increase resilience.

The next stage was building a new life through identity-based habits, reinforced by the power of small steps and self-compassion in moments of failure. And finally, we considered how to integrate this transformation into everyday life, becoming the "Master of Two Worlds"—a person who consciously manages their life, builds healthy relationships, and inspires others by their example.

The key thesis of this approach is that change is a process that happens gradually. There is no magic pill or instant "reboot." There is only consistent, conscious work, step by step. Thinking changes, approaches to different situations change. As a result, life itself begins to change in all its spheres.

The finish line of the transformational marathon is not the end, but the beginning of a new race: the marathon of a conscious life. The skills acquired on this path—self-reflection, cognitive flexibility, the ability to build habits, self-compassion, the capacity for close relationships—become tools for the daily run. The goal of the first marathon is to teach you to run for the rest of your life.

This is your world, your life, your marathon. And you have everything you need to run it with dignity, meaning, and joy. The start has been given.