Primitive Psychological Defenses: Understanding Yourself and Reaching Maturity
Our psyche has an amazing ability to protect us from pain and anxiety. Psychoanalytic diagnosis identifies so-called "primitive defenses" that form in the pre-verbal period. They distort reality to make it bearable for us. However, relying on them in adulthood hinders building mature relationships and achieving success.
Let's explore the main mechanisms and MriyaRun tools that help recognize and transform them.
Idealization and Devaluation
These are two sides of the same coin. Initially, we create an ideal image of a partner or mentor to protect ourselves from fears, as being near an "omnipotent" figure is soothing. But idealization is inevitably followed by devaluation. People stuck in this cycle are often in an eternal search for perfection, which is characteristic of a narcissistic personality type.
How to work with this:
A healthy alternative is accepting reality and being grateful for what exists. To exit the "ideal vs. worthless" swing, it is essential to practice regular gratitude, which restores value to simple things.
- The Gratitude Workbook or the deeper Gratitude Steps Diary Book are perfect for stabilizing self-esteem.
- It is also crucial to work on realistic self-perception through the Self-Acceptance Diary.
Щоденник Вдячності
Projective Identification and Boundaries
This is a complex process where a person does not distinguish between internal and external. We might "put" our feelings into another person (projection) or, conversely, take on someone else's state and live it as our own (introjection). This often leads to boundary violations, where we feel responsible for others' emotions or lose ourselves in relationships.
The MriyaRun Solution:
To separate your emotions from those of others and build healthy communication, you must clearly understand your psychological boundaries.
the Hostess of Your Boundaries Diary Book
- The fundamental tool for this is the Hostess of Your Boundaries Diary Book. This offers 412 pages of work to stop being a "sponge" for other people's states.
- To develop empathy without losing yourself, we recommend refining your skills through Emotional Intelligence.
Splitting (Black and White Thinking)
This defense divides the world into "absolutely good" and "absolutely bad." There are no gray areas: today you adore a colleague, and tomorrow you hate them for a single mistake. This prevents seeing the whole picture of the world and building stable relationships.
Tools for Integrity:
The way out of splitting is the ability to hold ambivalence (contradictory feelings) toward a single object.
Metaphorical Cards
- Structuring thoughts and seeing the situation from different angles is easier with the Self-Knowledge Diary and the Online Diary.
- For safe simulation of situations and finding hidden meanings, use Online Metaphorical Cards or choose a set in our Catalog.
Dissociation and Emotions
Dissociation is a "disconnection" from reality to avoid feeling pain or fear. It is often a reaction to trauma. A person may forget important events or feel separated from their body. While this saves us in moments of danger, in ordinary life, it prevents us from fully experiencing emotions.
The Path to Recovery:
Returning to contact with your feelings should be gentle and safe.
- Start by recording your states in the Emotions Diary | EQ.
- To plan a life that takes your real resources and states into account, use the Planner Diary.
the Emotions Diary | EQ
We invite you to visit the Publications section to learn more about psychology, or choose your tool for self-development at MriyaRun.