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Do You Really Know Yourself? How to Understand Your True Needs
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MriyaRUN
Self-discovery is one of the deepest and most difficult journeys in life. Do we know ourselves as we really are, or do we perceive ourselves through the prism of social expectations, stereotypes, and other people's perceptions? A question that makes you think: do you really understand your true needs?

Why do we lose touch with ourselves?

From childhood, we form an idea of who we should be. Family, school, society - each of these factors imposes its own expectations.
We hear:
“To be successful, you need to work in a prestigious job.”
“Good people always put others first.”
“Happiness is money, status, and a perfect family.”
These beliefs become part of our consciousness, but are they ours? They often obscure our true desires and force us to live according to other people's scenarios. As a result, we can achieve goals but not feel satisfied.

Imposed needs vs. true needs

True needs are what comes from within, from the depths of our soul. They are formed based on our unique experiences, values, and desires. Imposed needs are external standards that we try to meet to gain approval or avoid criticism.

Signs of imposed needs:

  • Feeling exhausted even when you achieve your goals.
  • Constant anxiety that you are not doing “enough”.
  • Lack of joy in what you do.

Signs of true need:

  • A sense of harmony and energy when you are doing something that is important to you.
  • Realizing that you are acting in accordance with your values.
  • Inner peace, even if others don't approve of you.

How to understand your true needs?

The process of self-discovery requires honesty, time, and sometimes even courage. Here are a few steps to help you start this journey:
1. Reflection: ask yourself the right questions
Ask yourself:
  • What brings me joy and peace?
  • Do I feel like I'm living my own life and not fulfilling someone else's expectations?
  • What do I do only because I “have to” and not because I want to?
Keeping a diary or going for a quiet walk alone can help you listen to your thoughts better.
2. Analyze your emotions
Emotions are indicators of your true needs. For example, feeling irritated may indicate that someone is violating your boundaries. And the joy of accomplishing a task may suggest that it is one of your important values.
3. Learn to recognize external influences
Ask yourself the question: “Do I want to do this because it is in line with my values, or because society approves of it?”
For example, you dream of career advancement. But is it really your dream, or is it a way to prove yourself or others that you are worthwhile?
4. Try new things
Sometimes we cannot understand our needs until we try something new. Experiments help us to go beyond the usual scenarios and discover new facets of ourselves.
5. Accept your limitations
True needs may be simpler than they seem. You have the right not to strive to achieve everything that is considered “successful.”

How to live in accordance with your needs?

Self-knowledge is only the beginning. The next step is to learn how to act on your discoveries.
Set healthy boundaries
By learning to say no, you can make room for what's really important to you.
Listen to your body
Our body always signals when something is going wrong. Fatigue, anxiety, and tension can be signs that you are acting against your true needs.
Trust your instincts
Even if your decisions seem illogical to others, if they come from your heart, they are always right for you.
Find time for yourself
Let go of the rush and pressure. Real life happens here and now, not in achieving the next goal.
Understanding your true needs is an act of self-love. It allows you to discover your true self and live a life that brings joy and fulfillment. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.
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