It is impossible to imagine life without problems and difficulties. Illnesses, loss of loved ones, difficulties at work, a broken heart - each of us has experienced life-changing events. As a rule, we are not ready for such situations, and they can significantly affect physical and mental health.
1. Take a breath and slow down
When we get bad news, it feels like a hurricane. Time stops, the breath catches, the heart is ready to break out of the chest, thoughts rush in circles and it seems that we are about to faint.
If something like this happens to you, the first thing to do is stop. There is no need to immediately react to what happened. Focus on your breathing. If you are in a potentially dangerous situation: on a busy street, behind the wheel or with a child in your arms - concentrate and try to move to a safer place or position. When we slow down, the risk of doing something we later regret is reduced.
2. Feel yourself here and now
If things get dizzy, focus on what part of the room you are in. It's not for nothing that people often ask others to sit down before breaking bad news: this not only helps to avoid injury when they lose consciousness, but also helps them to ground themselves.
If you have symptoms of depersonalization (you look at the situation detachedly, as if from the side, without feeling yourself) or derealization (everything seems surreal, like in a dream), try to focus on four objects that you see around you.
Breathe Focus as much as possible on how the air passes through the nose during inhalation and leaves through the mouth during exhalation. This will help bring you back now.
3. Assemble your support team
Very few people can handle bad news alone, and why should they?
Perhaps you text a friend to pick up the kids from school or call a relative who is also devastated by the news and shares your feelings. If the bad news is related to health, it is especially important to assemble a support group. These people are your allies in a difficult situation.
4. Make a preliminary plan
Of course, immediately after receiving bad messages, you should not and cannot plan all the necessary actions in detail and clearly. But at least an approximate plan of how you should act will help to feel the situation as more stable and predictable, which will reduce the level of stress.
But if there are decisions to be made, details to be thought through, or an event to be organized (such as a funeral), being involved can help regain a sense of control over the situation.
5. Don't hesitate to ask for help
Many find it difficult to ask for help or to admit that they need it. However, now is the time to step over barriers and reach out to others.
The worst that can happen is no. But such a result is unlikely: people usually want to be useful and useful, especially in times of need. In addition, it helps to maintain intimacy in relationships.
6. Don't forget to take care of yourself
Tragic events deliver a double whammy: not only do we experience strong emotions, but we also lose the ability to take care of ourselves. In difficult times, we forget about sleep, exercise, proper nutrition, the need to be outdoors, and socialization. Most likely, at first after what happened, you will not be able to return to your usual daily routine, but in order to preserve physical and mental health, it is necessary to move in this direction at least with small steps.
You have to force yourself to go to sleep - even if it's by force. Go for a walk, call a friend, have dinner, even if you don't want to. It's all about self-compassion: living your feelings and not forcing yourself to conform to standards or someone else's idea of how you should behave or feel in that situation.
7. Seek professional help if necessary
Some cope with periods of emotional upheaval and the support of a psychotherapist. But do not discount this option, it can be very useful.
Support groups, individual consultations, online resources, and possibly medication prescribed by a specialist can help with this. You don't have to go through everything on your own.
Conclusion
These simple recommendations can be lifesaving at the moment when we receive terrible news. Perhaps they will be useful to those who are forced to bring this news or simply happened to be nearby and provide help to a person who cannot cope with upsetting emotions. Seeking help from friends, family, and possibly professionals is an important resource that should not be neglected.