8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Talking to a Partner

Partners with anxious attachment tend to react emotionally in a “hot potato” way, trying to get their point across through blame or fighting. Their need to resolve a problem immediately is usually rooted in previous negative experiences where their needs were ignored and their feelings went unrecognized. This creates a sense of anxiety that only increases the tension in the relationship.

Partners with avoidant attachment, on the other hand, have different tactics. For them, conflicts are often associated with exhaustion, misunderstanding, and stress, so they seek to avoid quarrels at all costs - by ignoring the problem or trying to prove their case. They may distance themselves emotionally to avoid another confrontation. Such detachment becomes a defensive reaction, which further complicates the situation.

When both partners feel secure in the relationship, they can discuss difficult issues more openly, support each other, and grow together.