Twenty years ago, the Mind & Life Institute held its first lecture with the Dalai Lama. The association of scientists and thinkers focused their efforts on solving practical issues of psychology, discussing the latest discoveries in the field of emotional intelligence. The 2021 Summit Science & Wisdom of Emotions2 provided new material to answer the main question of this article - "What makes happiness?". We have written down the most useful points from the lecture of Lori Santos, Ph.D., so that you can get closer to your answer.
Lori Santos is a professor at Yale University. Her course "The Science of Well-Being" became the most popular in the history of Yale University. In a lecture built in the form of a dialogue with the famous writer and psychologist Daniel Goleman, scientists determine what the main mistakes in understanding happiness are. In addition, they presented the listeners with several techniques that can bring a person closer to happiness.
Misconceptions about happiness
The most common misconceptions about happiness, according to Lori Santos, concern what constitutes happiness, that is, its components.
Wealth, the perfect relationship, the perfect body and the perfect job - for many, the answer to the question "What will make you happier?" just like that. However, studies say that these things will only make you feel happy for a short time.
Of course, not having food and a roof over your head will have a negative impact on anyone's well-being. And yet, research suggests that the need for physical well-being will be satisfied by an annual salary of $75,000. Any amount higher will not change the level of happiness in the long run.
Another popular opinion is the strong influence of the hereditary factor. Many studies confirm that genes affect a person's condition. However, Lori Santos says, this state will only be considered a starting point from which we can move.
Lori Santos insists that the conditions in which a person lives play a much smaller role in a person's emotional state than is commonly believed. Even the most stressful time for someone will bring positive changes. But what can really affect our well-being is our behavior. Specific actions that a person consciously performs.
Actions that affect the level of happiness
1. Social interactions
Many scientific studies confirm a simple fact: social interactions strengthen feelings of happiness. One such work, authored by Nick Epley, shows that communicating even with a complete stranger in a subway car helps to increase the level of happiness.
Physical distancing is often a hindrance, but connecting with loved ones via the Internet and calls remain effective ways of maintaining social ties and also work.
2. Acknowledgment
The second simple technique to feel better is to express gratitude for the small things that make us feel better. Lori Santos believes that many people underestimate the effectiveness of this method. To feel better, you can try to introduce into your life the practice of "five things for which I am grateful" in the evenings.
The same goes for expressing gratitude to a person. While many are afraid of inconvenience, according to statistics much more often such a dialogue leads to a strengthening of the social bond, an increase in the level of happiness for both parties.
3. Comprehension of work or job crafting
For a person to feel comfortable, it is important to understand that his work has value. On the one hand, this means that even at the stage of job search, it is worth noting the activity that has a global meaning for a specific person.
But, as the scientists of the Yale School of Management found out, any work can be endowed with similar content. Having studied the sanitary staff of the hospital, the researcher Amy Wrzesniewski discovered people who see their importance - not only in routine cleaning, but also in helping the entire hospital, in communicating with patients. It was the understanding of their role that gave these people a sense of well-being.
4. Physical practices
Regular physical activity, even in the form of an ordinary walk, structured sleep regime - all this should not be forgotten.
Scientists gave us recommendations on practices that improve the condition in real time. A quick way to get out of a stressful state is breathing control. Breathing is connected with the autonomic nervous system. Therefore, accelerated breathing creates a feeling of running, danger, and just a couple of deep slow breaths will let the body understand that the danger has passed.
Lori Santos also recommends learning meditation practices. For example, loving-kindness meditation concerns both physical comfort, but also expressing gratitude to others, compassion.
5. Enjoying the moment
Enjoyment, savoring a pleasant detail - in a sense, says Lori Santos, this process is on a par with meditation. And at the same time, it is simply an act of attention that a person can include in time.
A smile and wrinkles around the eyes of a loved one - such simple details give us special feelings. To stop for a couple of moments, to feel this emotion is a pleasure. Even in a cup of delicious coffee, you should try to notice similar emotions, and think about what this feeling is like. Thus, pleasant moments are felt more vividly and are stored longer in the memory.
6. Helping others
When we are feeling down, we rarely think about helping others. According to psychologists, focusing only on your problems is not always the right method. For example, research has shown that money spent on other people makes us happier than money spent on ourselves.
Having this leverage, it is worth looking around on one of the bad days and helping a loved one - it will bring pleasure and give new strength.
7. Self-compassion
What is traditionally considered a weakness - self-compassion - as scientists have found, is a powerful assistant in solving problems and increasing productivity. Self-pity is similar to an act of gratitude, attention to what has already been done, to the efforts spent.
It sounds simple, but in practice, many need to make an extra effort to feel compassion for themselves - which is the most important component of good rest, enjoyment, and eventually happiness.
Many of the components of success familiar to modern culture are mistakenly associated with happiness. That is why it is especially useful for us to make time for the simple and basic components of happiness. Some of them seem elementary - but that is why it is important to focus on them.