How to change the attitude to stress? Narrated by Professor Modupe Akinola

Twenty years ago, its initiators – the Mind & Life Institute – held a meeting between psychologists and the Dalai Lama. Their discussion showed that scientific and religious views can enrich each other. Scientists received a new impetus for research and discussed the results at the 2021 summit.

Interesting thoughts were voiced by Modupe Akinola, a professor at the Columbia Business School and a stress specialist. In a conversation with the famous psychologist Daniel Goleman, she explained what causes stress, how it affects our work, and why we should not be afraid of it. Her tips will help you take better control of your condition and use stress as an ally.

When resources clearly prevail, we feel calm and confident. If they are not enough, stress occurs.

Is it useful in everyday life? Looking at what we do. For example, a policeman must be vigilant at work. The release of cortisol will help to notice the danger in time. But such a reaction can get in the way during an exam, negotiations or public speaking - but a lot depends on the degree.

Scientists view our performance under stress as a curve in the form of an inverted letter U. Up to a certain point of increasing tension, it helps to gather yourself and give your best. Then it begins to negatively affect memory, attention and thinking.

Thus, stress itself is not the problem. It's bad when his level matches the situation. It is even worse when it becomes chronic and does not allow the body to recover.

A stressful situation can be assessed as a threat or as a challenge, so Akinola speaks of two different states.

When external demands seem out of bounds and resources are scarce, we feel threatened. This manifests itself physically: the heart beats, blood vessels constrict, cold sweat breaks out. A defensive response may be to avoid or ignore the problem, which will only make it worse.

Another thing is when there are enough resources. In this case, the high demands of the environment are perceived as a challenge and we are ready to hold the blow. The heart beats often, but we do not contract, the blood freely distributes oxygen throughout the body. We catch the state of the flow and often exceed our own expectations. It's still stressful, but more beneficial.

Important conclusions follow from this. We can manage our condition by changing our perception of a problem or building resources. Akinola also offers a third way - to change the attitude towards stress. To successfully use these techniques, you need to carefully observe yourself.

Reassessment or reframing is the search for a different perspective on the situation. You can start with the question: "How will this help me?"

Not about deceiving yourself and rejoicing in misfortune. There are definitely negative situations in life, such as the illness of a loved one. But we will better endure this experience if we determine what it teaches us, what it prepares us for. For example, someday you will be able to support other people in a similar situation. Or maybe you'll learn to deal more easily with your other problems.

If you don't have enough resources, you can fix it: improve your knowledge, experience, and skills. The lecturer feels more confident if he has a good command of the topic. An introvert adapts to public speaking with a lot of practice.

Do not forget about the support that can come from family, friends, pets. Maybe you feel better when you come home and hug your dog? Do you calm down by letting off steam in a conversation with a friend? It is important to be aware of such things in order to include them in your life as much as possible.

Our attitude towards stress affects how we experience it. If we consider him an ally, then he helps us. If we are afraid, he gives us even more reasons to be afraid.

Think of athletes who win a decisive point in the final seconds of a match. Think of situations when you passed a very difficult exam, successfully spoke in front of an audience, and managed to write a term paper or report at the last moment. In these examples, stress gives us strength, stimulates, invigorates.

Akinola cites experiments in which students did better on exams when they were told the benefits of stress. They were no longer frightened by frequent heartbeats and other symptoms of stress. On the contrary, they rejoiced: "Oh, this is a signal that I am strongly involved." And this attitude helped to direct stress in the right direction.

Amidst the bustle and information noise, people often forget to listen to themselves. We don't even always realize that we are exposed to stress!

Try to note what situations cause you stress and what helps. Highlight the signs that you are under stress: how does your behavior, physical condition change? If you don't know, ask your loved ones. For example, they will say that you eat chips, sleep less, speak in a different tone. In the future, you will be able to determine by these signs that you have stress.

Be sure to find at least five minutes a day to be alone with yourself. Get into the habit of meditating. Akinola advises you to try different practices and find out what works for you. Someone is closer to vipassana - concentration on bodily sensations. Others prefer breathing practices or mindfulness meditation.

We have prepared 3 free meditation techniques for you to download and listen to.

As a black woman, Akinola shares her own experience of reframing stress. All her life she had to build relationships with people who looked different - and it made her stronger: it helped to develop flexibility and emotional intelligence. Now she can help others when they are uncomfortable.

Another interesting example of reframing is related to gender issues. Akinola noted that her female colleagues often do extra work instead of delegating - giving tasks to assistants. Studies have shown that women perceive delegation as dominance. Such behavior causes them anxiety, because it is considered unfeminine in society. But what if we look at it from a different angle? By delegating, you give subordinates the opportunity to learn and develop. When scientists offered women such reframing, they delegated more often and more willingly.