In the life of every person, events occur that we perceive as bad. Often we cannot influence them, they happen regardless of our wishes. For example, as an illness (sometimes even incurable), loss of a loved one, divorce, dismissal, destruction, flood, hurricane, economic crisis, war. We can change almost all of these things. But their perception, our attitude towards them, how we will deal with them is our choice, our only freedom, which no one can ever take away from us.
The story of a prisoner of four concentration camps
To prove the existence of this choice, we will consider the story of Viktor Frankl - an Austrian psychiatrist, psychologist and neurologist and a former prisoner of four Nazi concentration camps. Frankl developed the concept of "logotherapy", an approach to psychotherapy that emphasizes the search for meaning and values in life as the main stimulus for overcoming difficulties and achieving psychological harmony. His research deeply revealed human nature and contributed to the development of psychological assistance for people who have experienced traumatic events.
He spent 3 years in the camps and by the time he was released, his wife and parents had died at the hands of the Nazis.
Віктор Франкл. Фото: https://www.diepresse.com/
He wrote his book "A Man in Search of Meaning" (original title "Say Yes to Life!") on pieces of paper in the camps. This book was first published in 1946. It became one of the most famous books of all time. According to the Times magazine, it is one of the 100 best books of the 20th century, according to a study conducted by the organization "Wook of the Month Club" and the Library of Congress, the book is on the list of the ten most influential books in the United States.
One of Frankl's central views is that man can find meaning in life even in difficult circumstances if he finds his own values and purpose. He experienced from his own experience, as a survivor of the concentration camps of the Holocaust, that finding meaning in the most difficult circumstances can help a person overcome any difficulties.
Because of his contributions to psychology, philosophy, and his influence on the way we think about the meaning of life, Viktor Frankl is considered an important figure in modern thought. His ideas continue to inspire and remain relevant to many people around the world.
A goal in the future and meaning in life help to cope with hardships
In his book, Dr. Frankl describes the hardships he had to face in the camps, his attitude toward them, and how he coped with them. He, along with other doctors, tried to help people find a point of support, find the meaning of life, something they could hold on to. He claims that only those survived who made a choice in the direction of life, found meaning for it, and set the right guidelines for themselves.
What to do?
Any attempt to re-invigorate the people in the concentration camp presupposed that we would be able to direct them to some goal in the future. The one who could no longer believe in the future, in his future, was lost. Along with the future, he also lost his spiritual core, internally broke down and degraded both physically and mentally... However, the courage to live or, accordingly, fatigue from life appeared each time depending only on whether a person had faith in the meaning of life, his life. Nietzsche's words could serve as the motto of all psychotherapeutic work in a concentration camp: "He who has a WHY to live, can endure almost any HOW"
Віктор Франкл
Our interpretation of events can both save and harm.
He talks about the fact that installations are so strong that they are able to both save and harm people. For example, one prisoner dreamed that the war would end on March 30, 1945. As this date approached, it became clear that the war was not going to end. On March 29 he became delirious and feverish, on March 30 he fainted, on March 31 he died of typhus. The war ended for him on March 30, when he fainted.
Another example of such a case, but on a larger scale, is given by Dr. Frankl in his book.
Голландські євреї у концтаборі Бухенвальд. Фото: Музей Голокост, Вашингтон, США, https://www.ushmm.org/
Many prisoners in one of the camps decided that the war would end by the end of 1944 and they would be home by Christmas. When Christmas came, it became clear that nothing like that would happen. And in the week between Christmas and New Year, a large number of prisoners died, and there was no reason for this. There were no deteriorations in the weather, in working conditions, there were no outbreaks of diseases.
In the end, it turned out that physical and mental decay depended on spiritual instruction, but in this spiritual instruction, a person was free! Having put a person in a camp, you could take away everything from him, down to his glasses and belt, but he had this freedom, and it remained with him literally until the last moment, until his last breath. It was the freedom to adjust one way or another, and it somehow existed, and all the time there were those who managed to suppress their excitement and conquer their apathy. These were the men who went through the barracks and marched into formation, and they had a good word for a comrade and a last morsel of bread. They were a testimony to the fact that you can never tell what a camp will do to a person: whether a person will turn into a typical camper, or still, even in such a cramped position, in this extreme border situation, remain human. Every time he decides himself.
Circumstances do not define us
Freud believes that if you starve different people, their differences will soon be erased, and all their thoughts and actions will be aimed only at satisfying their hunger. He said: "Let's try to put several different people in the same conditions of hunger. With the growth of hunger, all individual differences will be erased, and in their place will appear a uniform expression of irrepressible urge."
But Professor Frankl illustrates something completely different. He talks about an SS officer, the head of his last camp, who secretly spent huge sums of money on medicine for the prisoners. And about the warden of the same camp, who was himself one of the prisoners and who beat and abused other prisoners, worse than any SS member.
What is a person? It is a being that is constantly deciding that it is. He is the being who invented the gas chambers, but he is also the being who went to those gas chambers with his head held high and a prayer on his lips.
Happiness is a choice
Happiness is our choice. This is not to say that circumstances do not play a role. But we can choose how to treat them, how to feel and act. To find the strength to move on, to find meaning in life, to find ways to solve problems, to notice the good, to let go of anger and hatred, to be happy, to smile, to bring good, to help others - this is only our choice, which no one can take away.
Happy people are happy not because bad things don't happen in their lives, but because they choose to be happy despite bad things. Choose happiness!