The history of the client
Once a client came to an appointment with psychiatrist Scott Peck. The session was devoted to procrastination. After asking a series of perfectly logical questions to find the root of the problem, the doctor suddenly asked if the woman liked cakes. She answered in the affirmative. Then he asked how she usually eats them.
психіатр Скотт Пек
But she answered that she eats the most delicious first: the top layer of cream. The psychiatrist's question and the client's answers perfectly illustrated her attitude to work.
The psychiatrist suggested that she change her approach: at the beginning of each working day, spend the first hour on tasks she dislikes, because an hour of torment, followed by 7-8 hours of pleasure, is better than an hour of pleasure and 7-8 hours of suffering. After putting the delayed gratification approach into practice, she was able to finally get rid of procrastination.
Principle
What is the point here? In "planning" pain and pleasure: first swallow the bitter pill, so that the licorice seems even sweeter. Of course, you should not hope that this pie allegory will immediately make you change. But to understand how things are - completely. And try to start with difficult and hated things in order to be more happy about what will follow them. After all, waiting for a reward is enjoyable in itself—so why not prolong it?
Reasons
1. Education
For the vast majority of children, parents serve as guidelines for how to live, which means that if the parent tries to avoid unpleasant tasks and go straight to loved ones, the child will follow this model of behavior.
Of course, you can't put all the blame solely on them: some of us choose our own path and do everything against mom and dad. But these exceptions only prove the rule.
2. Specific situation
Yes, the majority prefers to put in the effort and get a higher education, even if they really don't want to study, in order to earn more and live better in general. However, few choose to continue their education—for example, get a degree.
Many people agree to go to work every day because they have to somehow earn a living, but few try to go further, do more, invent something of their own.
Many people make an effort to get to know a person better and find a potential sexual partner in them, but to really invest in a relationship... no, it's too difficult.
Conclusion
But, if we assume that such an approach is normal and natural for human nature, why do some postpone getting pleasure, while others want everything at once? Maybe others just don't understand what results it can produce? Or are they trying to delay the reward, but they lack the stamina to finish what they started? Do they look back at others and act "like everyone else"? Is it because of habit?
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