Defense mechanisms operate automatically without being realized and have various manifestations.
Here are some of the most common mechanisms we encounter in life:
Displacement is the process where unpleasant or traumatic thoughts and emotions are “pushed” out of our consciousness into the unconscious, thus avoiding painful experiences.
Example: A person forgets important traumatic experiences, such as abuse or illness.
Denial - refusal to accept a reality that is too hard or painful to perceive.
Example: A person who has gone through a difficult divorce cannot accept the fact that their partner is no longer in their life.
Projection - attributing one's own unwanted feelings or traits to other people.
Example: A person who feels anger may blame others for aggression or misunderstandings.
Rationalization - justifying one's actions or feelings to reduce internal conflict and maintain self-esteem.
Example: A person who did not get the job he wanted explains that it was not important and that the company was not a good fit for him.
Idealization and devaluation - at first a person may see another person as ideal, but later, when difficulties arise, begins to downplay their importance.
Example: A person who idealizes his or her partner may begin to belittle him or her after being disappointed.
Regression - A return to an earlier stage of development when a person has difficulty coping with emotional problems.
Example: An adult may begin to behave like a child when faced with a crisis situation.
Sublimation - redirecting emotional energy to socially acceptable activities, such as sports or art.
Example: A person experiencing stress may start playing sports or drawing to release aggression or emotions.
Dissociation is the process by which a person separates from emotions or physical sensations to protect themselves from pain or trauma.
Example: A person who has experienced trauma may feel disconnected from his or her body or may not remember the events that occurred.
Aggression - transferring negative emotions onto other people without allowing oneself to recognize the true causes of one's condition.
Example: A person who is anxious may start arguing with others over nothing.
Why get rid of defense mechanisms?
Although defense mechanisms help us temporarily avoid pain or stress, they can interfere with healthy development and real understanding of ourselves.
If we constantly keep ourselves in “defense,” we:
Don't recognize our true feelings and needs.
Do not see reality for what it is.
Cannot build sincere and open relationships.
Getting rid of defense mechanisms allows us to become more aware and mature, discover our real emotions and be real in our relationships.
How to get rid of defense mechanisms?
Start paying attention to when and how you use defense mechanisms.
Observe yourself: when you feel fear, anger, or anxiety, ask yourself if you are using any of your defense mechanisms.
After you notice the defenses, try to figure out exactly what it is that you are trying to protect. What are you trying to avoid? What emotion or trauma is behind this mechanism?
Allow yourself to feel what is usually behind the defense mechanisms - even if it is painful or uncomfortable. Accepting your emotions is the first step to experiencing them in a healthy way.
Working with a therapist or through self-reflection, one can learn to experience difficult emotions without resorting to defenses. This will enable one to be more genuine and authentic in one's relationship with oneself and others.
