Postponing, delaying, avoiding things or issues, has a scientific name - procrastination, which entails a string of secondary benefits, reinforced by illusory fears, it is above all an emerging defense reaction. At this time, there are always reasons, even rational explanations that should help to mitigate the arising internal conflict on the legalization of actions that seem to have been chosen by our attention, even without meaning.
Sometimes it is confused with laziness, but laziness is a lack of motivation and a lack of understanding of where to direct efforts.
Procrastination, on the other hand, means that a person is aware of the importance of a task but avoids it out of fear of possible consequences, even though such actions may have negative consequences in the form of deferred responsibilities.
When a situation like this arises, it is important not to start fighting, to overpower yourself, but to accept and understand why, what is behind it.
What our subconscious is trying to save us from and protect our inner child.
Once we understand the reason and give ourselves an honest answer, we can not only solve the issue that has arisen more easily, but also the chain of subsequent ones, remembering that we always pay a price for procrastination.
Of course, if you stay in harmony with yourself, you can not only improve your emotional state but also your efficiency, which will certainly not leave the world around you the same, but what if you become dependent on the procrastination of others?
When your life is affected by another person's procrastination, it can cause constant conflict and frustration.
Whether you are prone to procrastination or not, living or working with a procrastinator creates tension. Watching a loved one ruin their life by constantly putting things off is difficult, especially when your efforts to motivate them fail.
You often feel betrayed or deceived, as the procrastinator is not always able or willing to explain their behavior, which only increases the tension in the relationship. It's important to understand that there is no easy solution, both for the procrastinator and for those around them, and this can lead to frustration and conflict.
Sasha doesn't do his homework, and I'm fed up with it. I've tried everything, and I'm desperate. He is ruining his own life! He doesn't see it, but I do. But he still won't listen to me.
The strategy of dealing with procrastination is based on a deep understanding that this behavior is not only the result of laziness, but often has more complex roots related to emotions, fears, and insecurities.
The main idea is to help people take responsibility for their lives without imposing excessive control and learn how to support them on their way to self-efficacy.
Accepting procrastination
The first thing to understand is that it is impossible to completely eradicate procrastination by force or punishment. Instead of focusing on fighting it, you should focus on the main thing - building a healthy relationship with the person who tends to procrastinate. It's important to understand what emotions or fears are behind this behavior and how to help the procrastinator work with their internal issues.
Small steps and realistic expectations
One of the key techniques is to break down tasks into small steps. Help the person focus on small, achievable goals that can be accomplished in a short period of time. Timers and limits help to set a realistic rhythm of work. For example, even five-minute intervals can be a powerful tool for defeating procrastination.
Reward the process, not the result
Procrastinators are often prone to self-criticism over uncompleted tasks, so it's important to teach them to appreciate every step on the way to a goal. Rewards for progress and effort are a great way to keep them motivated. Reward not only the final result, but also individual achievements, which will give the person a sense of success at each stage.
Respect autonomy and accept fears
Remember that a procrastinator is a separate person with their own goals and experiences. It is important not to take over their tasks, but to respect their right to autonomy. Flexibility and choice also help avoid conflicts. Instead of putting pressure, it is better to help the person understand their own fears and accept that mistakes are part of growth.
Setting clear boundaries and consequences
Specific timelines and consequences should be part of your strategy. It is important to discuss the consequences of not completing a task in advance to avoid misunderstandings. During this process, it is important not to give in to emotions and impulsive reactions. Time outs and a calm approach will help you deal with situations more effectively.
Help in realistic assessment of the situation
Procrastinators often tend to have excessive or unrealistic expectations. It is important to ask the right questions to help the person better understand what the task actually requires and how long it will take. Small intermediate goals will help to avoid overwhelm and gradually move forward.
Accepting yourself beyond productivity
Remind the procrastinator that their value is not determined solely by how well they perform tasks. Their personal qualities, such as humor, sensitivity, or creativity, are just as important. The procrastinator needs to realize that they shouldn't evaluate themselves only through the lens of productivity.
If you're dealing with a procrastinator, their behavior can negatively impact your life, business, or relationships by creating risks, losses, or impairing your personal development.
In such situations, it's important to think about your own safety and take action: do the work yourself, find another partner, or, if necessary, end the relationship.
However, procrastinators are often creative, sensitive, and in need of love and support, which can help you to find common ground with them and better understand their inner feelings.
When interacting with a procrastinator, the focus should be on support, understanding, and working together on achievable goals. It is important to help them take responsibility for their own actions, without imposing your control, but by supporting and creating conditions for growth.