Anger is primarily energy!
✓ In order to defend one's limits (psychological and physical).
✓ In order to achieve the goal, take your own, clear a place for yourself. This is its biological meaning! It's a natural feature that's built into us! There is neither bad nor good here.
Manifestations of aggression (aggressiveness) are diverse. Aggression (aggressiveness) happens:
Physical and verbal
Physical aggression - use of physical force against another person or object; verbal - expression of negative feelings both through the form (quarrel, scream, scream) and through the content of verbal reactions (threat, curse, curse)
Direct or indirect
Direct aggression is directly aimed at a person, indirect - actions that are indirectly directed at another person (malicious gossip, jokes, etc.), and actions that are characterized by lack of direction and disorder (outbursts of rage manifested in shouting, stamping feet, beating fists on the table etc);
External aggression and autoaggression
External aggression is directed at others, internal at oneself: self-blame, self-humiliation, self-harm up to suicide;
Protective or provocative
Defensive - aggression in response to someone's aggressive (or seemingly aggressive) actions. Provocative aggression is the first manifestation of aggression, the "first attack".
Protective or provoking Healthy (justified) and unreasonable (destructive)
The limits of aggression (aggressiveness) can be difficult to define. For someone, aggressiveness appears to be what others would simply call energy. If aggression has grounds, looks attractive and evokes sympathy, it can be called healthy aggressiveness.
Hostile and instrumental
The source of "hostile" aggression is anger, and its ultimate goal is to cause harm. If causing harm is not an end in itself, but only a means of achieving some other goal, then this is "instrumental" aggression.
How to identify it in yourself?
It is very important to find out how it appears in you. The easiest way is through body signals. Monitor - muscle tension, clenched teeth, noisy breathing, squinting/rounding of the eyes, manifestation of psychosomatic disorders (stomach pain, migraine, back pain, skin manifestations, etc.).
Accept your anger.
To admit the fact that I am so angry! Allow yourself to feel it! After all, usually, if a person holds back or is not aware of anger for a long time, then it accumulates so much that it comes out "not ecologically". For some it is a conflict, and for some it is psychosomatics (stomach, skin, throat, etc.).
Often people are so afraid of themselves that they are not ready to admit anger and begin to feel guilty (and this is another side of anger - anger at oneself). And you just need to accept it and live ecologically
Express anger
It can be screaming, fighting with pillows, hitting plates, cutting paper, breaking matches, crunching "crunchy" food. Physical expressions and active actions aimed at physical contact or destruction are important. And for many people who tend to shame themselves, it is difficult and embarrassing afterwards. But if everything is organized safely, it brings great relief and the ability to move on. Usually, this is what helps us to free ourselves.
Realizing that anger is power.
Yes, anger is a natural life force that we have and need to achieve our goals. And that is why it is important to leave this anger-power behind. Feel this power in your muscles. The power to push away what is not needed. And also what hinders and holds back what we need. Scream and feel the volume and power of the voice. That is, to do it with your own energy.
This stage is the main one, because it changes your sense of self and thus changes life. Having felt the power and its effect, you will never be the same again. Accepting your anger can be accompanied by shame, fear, joy and other feelings - it is important to live them in order to move on.
Awareness of the need behind your anger. What does my anger want?
It is worth understanding what exactly you want. What do you want to change in your life? What to repel, and what to attract? What to get? Rethinking anger - already transforms you from the inside! Understanding that it is needed, you just need to learn how to live it ecologically, i.e. without losses for personal health and the health of others!